


That Would Be Enough

by hunters_retreat



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: But this is Ed/Roy's Love Story, F/M, Inspired by Hamilton, Is nothing at all like Hamilton, Love via letters, M/M, Married Ed/Winry, emotional cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 08:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 59,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14667693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: Ed made choices.  He made mistakes.  They all had to live with them.Ed proposes to Winry on the train platform, but was it the right choice and for the right reasons?  With a serial killer on the loose and Ed the next target, he had no choice but to look for the truth in his own heart.





	That Would Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gay_pride_muthafuckas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_pride_muthafuckas/gifts).



> This story was actually inspired by the musical Hamilton. Mostly by the letters shared between Hamilton and Angelica. I loved the idea of their romance that never was but how their written letters came to mean so much to each other. This is really nothing like that... but it's where the idea came from :P Written for my dear gay_pride_muthfuckas (which is why there is no smut. Though... I may some day write smut and add it as a new chapter and tell her not to read... because I really REALLY wanted to write smut for this)

 

 

 

 

 

The wall exploded next to General Roy Mustang’s head as he rounded the corner.   He dove across the alley entrance, hiding behind a barrel left in the back of a shady bar.  Roy knew the streets of East City well, and he knew its back alleys even better.   It might have been a few years since he’d lived there, but the East City was his old stomping grounds and he never forgot the details.

“Shaun Tanner, give yourself up!” 

The self-titled Merciful Alchemist hid behind a pile of crates at the other end of the dead end alley and though Roy could simply snap his fingers and end this dramatically with his flame alchemy, he would prefer to do this without hurting the accused.  That would depend on Tanner though and how quickly he was willing to give up his gun.

“You have no right to stop my work!” Tanner shouted back.  “I’m doing Amestris a service.  You have no idea what it is I do.”

“Why don’t you come on out and explain it to me then?”

He should have just called this in. He was in East City to complete an inspection for Fuhrer Grumman but as he’d been walking back to HQ from his dinner date he’d recognized the man from a poster hanging in the Investigations Office.  Hawkeye was never going to let him go out to grab dinner with a friend alone again.

A loud commotion broke out at the end of the alley and Roy stood up.  The back door to one of the bars opened and Roy yelled to warn the people, “Get out of here!”   Tanner saw his chance and ran through the door, pushing the people out of his way and directly between him and Roy.

Roy cursed as he went around the alley to the street where the bar front let out.  He watched as Tanner ran out the door and in the opposite direction.  He cursed again as he sped off after the man.  If he’d been in uniform it might have been easier.  An officer chasing a man was given room, but in his suit there was no reason for people to clear the space for him.  He yelled for people to get out of the way but he wasn’t given enough to risk his alchemy.

He watched Tanner go down another corner and he turned quickly, only to get tackled as another gunshot filled the air.  He felt the sharp sting of shrapnel cut across his neck from where the bullet hit the brick wall beside him. 

“Bastard!” the man on top of him yelled.  “Watch where you’re going!  Are you trying to get shot?”

He pushed onto his elbows and looked up to see the crowd in the square but it was too full to see his quarry.  With the man gone, he turned his attention to his subordinate, lying half across his hips.  The young man’s golden eyes were tight in anger and his face was framed with stray hairs that had fallen out of his long honey ponytail.  He was beautiful, but Roy didn’t have time to deal with his inappropriate feelings at the moment.    

“Fullmetal,” Roy said as he pushed Ed off his lap and stood up, trying to see if he could detect where Shaun Tanner had gone.  He saw it then, the way the crowd had parted at one point and he ran off towards the break.  He could hear Ed running a few steps behind him. 

“Who the hell is that?”

He got to the point where the other alchemist must have gone, but when he turned down the street, it opened to three different directions.  He had no clue which way the suspect had gone but he took a deep breath and brushed off his coat.  Thankfully there was nothing a good cleaning couldn’t repair.  It was his favorite evening coat. 

“You gonna tell me who’s shooting at you tonight?”

“Shaun Tanner, the self-proclaimed Merciful Alchemist.  He’s a suspect in a series of murders here in the East.”  Roy started to walk down the first street to look for signs of Tanner.  He didn’t think he’d find anything, but he couldn’t just walk away without checking.

“Where is Hawkeye?”

“I was just coming home from an evening with a friend when I saw Tanner and ran after him.”  If Ed knew anything about Tanner he’d have asked him to look for him down the other streets, but the two alchemists would never have had any reason to cross paths through work and Roy always kept a close eye on the Elric brothers, even the past two years when they weren’t active on duty and were living in Resembool.    

“So you just ran after him with no backup.  What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, Fullmetal.  Maybe I was thinking of stopping a possible alchemic serial killer from roaming the streets of Amestris?”

He didn’t find what he was looking for, so he turned back the way he’d come and went down the second street.  Fullmetal followed at his back and Roy knew he might not know the man they were looking for, but he knew the signs Roy hunted.  They were empty handed after they finished looking down the other two streets and Roy finally sighed. 

“Well, it looks like he got away,” Roy said finally.  “I do appreciate you keeping me from a bullet, though perhaps a warning instead of knocking me to the ground would have worked as well,” he said as he realized he had yet to comment about the bullet that could have taken his life, if Fullmetal hadn’t tackled him. 

“Come on,” Ed said as he nodded down the street.  “My hotel is close.  I can get a look at that wound on your neck.  Hawkeye would kill me if you went back to HQ beat up.”

“That would mean she would know you’re here,” he said as he followed Ed towards his hotel.

“Yeah,” Ed said as he raised an arm up and scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck.  “She does.  I called this morning to talk to you and they said you were here in East City so I took the train over.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Probably.  I mean, you’re a general now so you should probably always be worried about something, right?”

He grabbed Ed’s arm and pulled him to a stop.  He couldn’t help himself.  It had been a year and a half since he’d seen either of the brothers.  Ed showing up to see him in person didn’t sit right.  “Ed, are you alright?”

He looked at the young man and couldn’t detect anything.  He wore dark brown pants and vest with a white shirt, the collar opened wide to draw the eye towards his shapely collarbone.  The reddish brown jacket he wore showed no wear and tear, other than travel and their recent tumble across the street.  There were no signs on his face and his gloves were white with no signs of blood or tears.  “Is Al?”   

“Lighten up, Colonel Bastard,” Ed said.  “Nothing’s wrong.  I’m just going on a trip and I’ll be gone a while.  I figured I better report in or whatever.”

Roy let go of his arm and nodded, then indicated that Ed should continue to lead the way to his hotel.  He should return to his own, but Ed was right.  No matter how unnoticed Roy tried to be, Hawkeye would find out he’d come back to East HQ and she’d give him hell for the wound.  At least if it was treated she might not say anything. 

As much as Roy wanted to ask Ed about his trip, he decided to wait until they were alone.  Fullmetal had come to see him, after all, instead of telling him over a phone call.  He could wait a few minutes to see what the young man had to say in private.

Surprisingly, the hotel was one of the nicer ones; close to East HQ and with a nice café on the corner.  Roy had eaten there himself the night he’d arrived in East City.   He followed Ed up to his room and waited while Fullmetal unlocked the door.

“Have a seat,” Ed said as he walked in.  Roy followed and watched as Ed took off his overcoat and threw it over the chair’s back. 

Roy looked away from Ed and took a moment to survey the room.  There was a small sitting area that opened up into the room proper.  A desk sat by the window with the chair pulled out slightly.  Paper and a pen sat on the tabletop, as if Roy had disturbed him in his letter writing.  To the right Roy could see a bathroom hiding behind a cracked door.   In the center, a large 4 poster bed dominated the room.

“Have a seat and I’ll take a look at your neck,” Ed said as he pointed to the bed.

Roy took both his overcoat and his suit coat off and set them on the desk and then removed his dark red tie.  He put that in his coat pocket, and then took a seat on the edge of the bed.  He undid the top few buttons of his shirt and waited.

“Having trouble, Fullmetal?” he called out into the silence.  “Do you need me to reach anything for you?” 

“Hahaha, Colonel Bastard.  Hold your horses.  You aren’t going to bleed to death.”

The short jokes no longer had the same effect they’d once had and it was more a matter of habit than anything else that had Roy make one.  It wasn’t even a witty one, which showed how out of practice he was with them.  Or maybe it was the environment.

Ed came back into the room and he set a bowl down on the bedside table.  He stood in front of Roy and leaned in at an awkward angle to get a look at Roy’s neck.  He bumped into Roy’s knee and Roy spread his legs to keep from knocking into the younger man. 

When Roy did, Ed dropped to his knees between Roy’s thighs and grabbed a cloth from beside the bowl and began to wipe at Roy’s neck.  Ed’s fingers tilted Roy’s head to the side and he moved as he was told.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  The cut wasn’t deep, he knew that.  It was barely a bother, even if he had been able to feel the thin trickle of blood. 

It wasn’t the wound he needed to close his eyes to though.  Two years ago, only six months after Al had gotten his body back, Roy had made a stop in Resembool to check on the Elric brothers.  Edward Elric was no longer the boy he’d once been and after a six month absence, Roy had been surprised by the changes in Ed. 

And unsettled by his own reaction to the body he’d grown into and the grace he’d found in it.

After a year and a half, Roy had accepted that he found Ed rather beautiful.  With Ed on his knees before him while Roy sat on his bed, accepted and acting on it were too separate issues. 

Thankfully, Ed’s personality hadn’t taken the same grace or Roy might have been done for. 

“It’s not too bad,” Ed said as his bare fingertips lightly explored the area around the wound.  “Good thing I was there to save your ass.”

“How exactly did that happen?  Not that I’m not grateful, Fullmetal, but it was very good timing.”

“I came in on the train this afternoon.   I went to East HQ and got talking to the guys and ended up grabbing dinner with Havoc and Breda.  We finished up late and I was just headed home when I saw some guy running towards the street corner.  Then I saw you.  I was just lucky I was at the right angle to see him getting ready to shoot.”

“I’m surprised you saw that as lucky.”

“Shut up, Bastard, and let me take care of you.”

Roy couldn’t help but smile at the words.  “I do have a name.”

“Yeah.  Bastard.”

“One of these days a superior officer is going to hear you and call you out on your insubordination.”

“Never stopped me when you called me out on it.”

“I indulged you.”

“So indulge me again and shut up so I can get you cleaned up.”

As he spoke, Roy could see the smile tugging at the corner of Ed’s lips.  He must have turned his head to look because Ed’s fingers pushed him back the other way.  He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath.  He could feel the heat of Ed as one of his hands gripped his thigh absently to keep his balance.  A finger traced the edge of his wound and then around it. 

“I’m just going to wash this out to make sure you don’t get infected,” Ed explained as he leaned over and grabbed the bowl.  Roy remained as he was, his hands resting on the bed at his sides and his head tilted to the side.

A wet cloth wiped across the wound and he hissed slightly at the feel of the disinfectant.  Ed wiped across his neck a few times before he set the cloth back in the bowl.  “I think you’re good.  It’s not bleeding anymore.”

He didn’t respond immediately.  He felt Ed’s hand stretch out across his neck, his finger brushing the wound.  His thumb caressed across his throat and down to his collarbone.   Roy turned his head and opened his eyes but he didn’t say anything. 

Ed’s pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted.  His breathing was shallow and the hand on Roy’s thigh gripped him tighter.  Roy didn’t know what he saw in Ed’s eyes, still staring at his wound.  When it came to Ed, he had never been able to read him right. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into the thick air between them.  He slowly moved his hand over Ed’s and squeezed where it was resting on his thigh.  It seemed to snap Ed out of the moment and he stood up quickly and put distance between them. 

“Like I said, I don’t want Hawkeye to kill me, especially when I have places to go.”

“Right,” Roy said as Ed grabbed the bowl from the table and began to clean up the supplies.  “You came to East City to tell me.  That seems a little … ominous.”

“Not really,” Ed said as he disappeared into the bathroom.  He came out a moment later.  “I figure I’ll be gone about a year.  I’m not sure what military protocol for all that is.”

“Are you asking my permission, Fullmetal?” he teased.

“No.  I … I’m on leave or something like that, right?”

“Yes.  While the military could call on your help if needed, Fuhrer Grumman knows what you did for Amestris and he would not.  You are on a long term leave as far as anyone is concerned.  Where are you going?”

“In three days, I’m heading to Creta.  Al’s heading to Xing.”

“I had wondered how long before Al went to check in on Mei Chang.   Do you have a specific purpose in Creta?”

“Al is going to learn Alchehestry and more about the Dragon Pulse.  We have some ideas we need to research and he’s taking one side of the world and I’m starting at the other.  I’ve heard some interesting things about Creta, so I thought I’d start there.”

“And you boys will meet back in Resembool in the end?” Roy asked.

“That’s the plan,” Ed said with a smile.

“It might get difficult to get used to traveling alone,” Roy said.  “And getting used to Al being so far away from you.”

“He’ll be fine.  His body is back in shape and he’s always been good in a fight.  Besides, he’s got Jerso and Zampano with him.  They know better than to let something happen to him.”

He should leave, he knew that.  Hawkeye was likely to send out a search party if he stayed much longer, but there was something different in the air tonight between him and Ed.  Not just the tension he’d felt in that one moment, but something more like colleagues and less like adversaries. 

“So, like I said.  I have to leave in three days, but if you need some help, I got a day or two to spend in East City.”

“That would be greatly appreciated, Fullmetal.  Meet me at East HQ in the morning.  We’ll get everything we need on Shaun Tanner and we’ll find a way to catch him.”

“What?  You’re going to get your hands dirty on this one?”

“I’ve already finished my inspection of the East City.  If I don’t find some reason to stay, I’ll have to go back to Central and the mountains of files that I’m sure have stacked up on my desk.”

Ed laughed and huffed out a “Lazy Bastard,” before Roy stood to leave.  He walked to the door and turned back to Ed.  “See you at 08:00.”

“I’m still not wearing the uniform, Colonel Bastard!”

“It’s General,” he said before he took a long perusal of Ed’s body and sighed.  “What a shame though.  You’d look rather stunning in uniform.”

Ed’s cheeks turned bright red and Roy laughed on his way out the door. 

Well, the night wasn’t at all what he’d thought it would be, but it could never be said that the Fullmetal Alchemist didn’t keep him on his toes.  And never let it be said that the Flame Alchemist wasn’t up for the challenge.

Alright.  So, maybe he was already done for. 

 

 

The next morning, Ed showed up bright and early, dressed sharply in brown pants and a white button up.  The overcoat was gone but he wore a vest and sleeve garters.  He seemed to have come ready to work.

It was odd to have him back, even for a day or two.  As much as Roy enjoyed the banter they shared, and the current view, Roy had always known that Ed would run from the military as soon as he could.  Roy was prepared to extend his leave until the end of Ed’s current contract.  Being a State Alchemist was a means to an end for him and he had, rather brilliantly, gotten what he wanted and done the people of Amestris proud in the process. 

“Hey Boss!” Havoc announced Ed’s presence to the others and they all looked up.  They’d seen him yesterday, but it was obvious that they had all missed him, just the same.  Ed and Al had both managed to sneak into the hearts of his office, one by one, and there was no going back.  Al kept in touch, letters and phone calls to let them all know that they were fine and he was recuperating.  Ed, of course, had to be coerced to make any kind of contact. 

It was through Al’s calls and letters that Roy found out what had happened to Ed and Al on the Promised Day.  He knew about the battle but he’d been worried about the cost Fullmetal had paid to get Al’s body back.  Although Al had given up his metal body to give Ed his arm back, Ed had sold it right back again to get Al’s real body.  How that was an equivalent exchange, Roy had no idea.  Al made vague comments about the anguish and emotions that went behind it all.  Roy thought there was more to it, but he was content to let that secret lie between Ed and Al and the gate.   At least until he had a reason to investigate further.

“So what have you got for me, Bastard?” Ed asked with a smile.

Mustang shook his head but pointed to the files that were spread out across the table.  “Everything we have on Shaun Tanner and his victims.”

“His research?” Ed asked.

“We haven’t located that yet,” Roy answered.     

“And we haven’t found a connection between any of the victims, either,” Havoc said.  “They were found at a drop off point, all different places.  No clues about where they’d been taken in the first place.  Different methods of death.  The only true connection we have is that the Merciful Alchemist is sending letters to the police claiming them.”

“We know that he’s stalking his victims to some degree because some of them were last seen in places that were outside of their normal routine.  He was following them, and we believe he waited for an opportune moment to grab them,” Breda added.

“The cops?” Ed looked up at Roy.

“They aren’t cooperating with us on this.  We’ve got the files and they claim that’s all they’ve got, but if they have any theories or any information from the families they aren’t willing to share.”

“What do they have against the military helping out?”

 “It’s more, what they have against the General,” Havoc snickered. 

“Gentlemen,” Hawkeye looked around the room and they all quieted down.    When Ed looked at Havoc the Second Lieutenant smiled and mouthed ‘Later’.

Roy rolled his eyes because it wasn’t his fault the woman had taken a one date invitation and tried to turn it into a proposal.  He’d handled himself quite well, he thought, but the woman in charge of the investigation was never going to be his friend.  Or, apparently, civil in his presence.

“So where do you want me to start?” Ed asked.

“Why don’t you check over the victims for us again,” Hawkeye said as she handed him a stack of papers.  “Fuery is with the Investigations department seeing if they have anything they can dig up as well.  When he comes back you can help him with those.  Until then, a fresh eye might see something we didn’t.”

Ed grabbed the files and took a seat at the table between Falman and Havoc.  Roy looked over at Hawkeye and gave her a small smile at the way Ed just threw himself back into the mix. 

 

 

It was too damn early to start the day, but Ed was at the office early enough to beat Havoc.  He’d been too worked up by nightmares to go back to sleep so he got dressed and ate and made it to the office early.  Something had been bothering him about the whole damn case but he didn’t know what.  It would have helped if they’d found the killer’s alchemy research and knew what he was doing, but there was nothing yet. 

In fact the only reason Roy was part of the case was because he’d seen the man and chased him down.  When he’d contacted the police, they’d admitted the need for an alchemist since the man claimed to be one and the police didn’t currently have an alchemist on staff.  Mustang took the opportunity to roll in and start his own investigation.  Ed had made the mistake of calling over to ask a question about one of the files yesterday and gotten an earful from a particularly angry Sergeant.  Havoc had just laughed a ‘told you so’ at him and continued his work.

It was a quiet morning as they all worked, with only the occasional break from the silence as someone questioned something they’d seen.  Ed kept going back to what he knew best, alchemy.  They didn’t have the alchemy though, so he reviewed what he knew about the alchemist in question.

Shaun Tanner had been a victim of a horrific youth.  His once happy family had been ripped apart at the ripe age of six when his father, an alcoholic soldier who had seen too much death turned his service weapon on his wife and three children before he killed himself.  Tanner had been critically wounded, but the cop who arrived on the scene had given first aid and he’d survived until he reached the hospital.  He’d pulled through but he’d had a rough time of it. 

He was taken in by an orphanage but was moody and standoffish and was never adopted.  He found apprenticeship with an alchemist when he was 15, but then all records of Shaun Tanner died off.     

It was almost one when Fuery came running in from another journey to Investigations.

“We found something!” 

“What have you got, Fuery?” Mustang asked.

Ed had been trying to ignore the general for the most part.  Since the other night in his hotel, all Ed could think about was Mustang.  They’d been so close and for a second it had looked like Roy just might let him…

It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter what he thought might have been about to happen because it didn’t and it couldn’t.  It was all just in Ed’s head anyway.  Mustang had been shot at and wounded slightly and Ed couldn’t read anything about the bastard on a good day, let alone when his adrenaline was flowing.

The problem wasn’t the other night though.  The problem was the Bastard right in front of him; the one in the uniform, who pretended to be just out for the next promotion but secretly worked to overthrow a corrupt government.  The one who gave him a way to get his brother’s body back, who’d fought beside him on the battlefield even though he’d been blinded.  The one who let him go when the military contract could have dragged him back in. 

This was the Bastard that he fell for.  The man in the suit who was casual and funny was hard enough to drag his thoughts from, but the Bastard was right there in front of him, with his uniform and his determination, making it impossible for Ed to actually be helpful.

Where the hell had his focus gone?

“Apparently,” Fuery opened a file and spread it out over the table, “Tanner’s father used to own some property and it was never claimed by the family.  The state seized all but one that was overlooked because it was in the mother’s name.”

“Who died with the rest of the family on the same night,” Breda interjected. 

“Fullmetal, Havoc, Hawkeye, with me.  The rest of you keep digging in case this doesn’t pan out.  Fuery get back to Investigations and see if there is anything else in the family that we need to check into.  Good work.”

Havoc was out the door to get a car and Hawkeye waited at the door as Ed followed.  Fuery walked past them, an excited smile on his face at the praise from Mustang.  Mustang came from the office a moment later, tugging his gloves on as he strode out the door.

As much as Ed would never admit it out loud, he’d missed this.  He didn’t like working for the military, didn’t like taking work when he didn’t always believe in what he was doing, but he missed the teamwork and the comradery.  He missed knowing he was making a difference.  When he was looking for the philosopher’s stone, at least he’d had his personal crusade to get Al’s body back.  Now, he just had a need to keep moving forward.

Havoc had the car waiting for them and it was a quiet drive.  It’d been almost two years since Al had gotten his body back and they had moved to Resembool but there was nothing uncertain in the silence, no concern from the others that Ed wasn’t at his best, wasn’t able to be a part of the team.

He caught Mustang’s eye and smiled.  The general smirked back.

The property was an abandoned house just beyond the train tracks.  “If he was killing anyone here, it would have been easy to hide the noise,” Havoc said after a train rushed past. 

“Are we expecting the police?” Ed asked Mustang.

Mustang rolled his eyes.  “It’s just a lead.  If there had been a sighting I would have called.”

Ed almost called bullshit but shook his head instead.  After the call yesterday, he didn’t actually want to meet the woman behind the voice.  No wonder Mustang hadn’t taken her on a second date.

He refused to think about it anymore.  After all, thinking about Mustang on a date, led to thoughts of what Mustang might be like _after_ a date.  The man had a solid reputation and he’d overheard more than one of Mustang’s dates comment about how she’d like to ride that rodeo again.  Their actual words, not his. 

And that led dangerously to the thought of what it would be like to touch Mustang, to let his hands brush across the collarbone that peeked out of his shirt from time to time, the way it had the other night.  To push the shirt off his broad shoulders and feel the warmth of his skin, his tight muscles under his hands, muscles that hadn’t flinched from the metal of his automail, who would never look down on his scars or question where they’d come from.  The feel of his breath against his neck, warm and filling the air with tension.

“Fullmetal, you and Havoc take the back,” Mustang brought him away from his thoughts as they pulled onto the street.  “Hawkeye, you and I will take the front.  Remember, we are trying to apprehend a suspect for the police.  Make your best attempts to get Shaun Tanner without injury.”

“But if we need to Chief?”

“If he puts you in danger, then I will consider that a confession of guilt.  Do what you have to do.”

They pulled up in front of a one story house that was in sad need of a new coat of paint.  The shudders on the front left window were hanging half off and the grass looked more like an overgrown field than a yard.  No lights lit the area.  It looked dead and forgotten.

They didn’t speak as they quietly exited the car.  Ed watched Mustang tug at his gloves and he grabbed the lighter out of his front pocket.  When Roy caught his eye, he tossed it over to him.  Roy caught it and smirked when he saw what it was, but he tucked it into his jacket all the same.  Hawkeye gave Ed a quick nod, and then Ed was following Havoc towards the back of the house. 

They hadn’t reached the back before he heard something inside.  Havoc took off on a sprint ahead of him and Ed didn’t know if he’d seen something or not so he ran after him.  He saw a man running out of the back and as Havoc reached the back, the man raised his arm.

Ed clapped his hands in a rush and pushed his alchemy forward to protect his friend.  A wall came up in front of Havoc just as a gunshot rang out.  Havoc was already moving around the wall as their suspect stared at it in surprise.  Havoc got to him before he recovered and a swift punch to the face knocked him down and the gun fell from his grasp, spinning away.  Havoc pinned the guy as Mustang and Hawkeye made it out the back door. 

Ed picked up the gun and handed it to Hawkeye. 

“Nice work Havoc.”

“Save it for the Boss,” Havoc said as he nodded to Ed.  “Not sure that bullet would have gone wide.  He saved my life.”

Ed didn’t pay any attention to the guy Havoc held.  He trusted Havoc to keep him, and Hawkeye was there with her gun trained on him.   He started to walk back towards the house where he hoped the man’s research would be.

“Hawkeye, you and Havoc take him to the police.  Ed and I will check out the house and see if his research is here.”

Ed knew that meant they’d already cleared the house before they came out so he didn’t worry about caution.  He opened the back door and walked into a small kitchen. 

“There’s a study to the right that had papers everywhere,” Mustang supplied from behind him.

Ed didn’t answer, but walked down the hallway to the right and started to peer through doorways.  Bedrooms and bathrooms first, but at the end of the hall was a study with a large desk and full bookcases.

“Think you can convince the police to give us his research?”

“They admitted that they needed an alchemist since they didn’t have one on staff.  Patricia won’t have any say over handing this over.  And if she does, I’ll have the case transferred to Eastern Command and we’ll get it all anyway.  Without having to share our findings.”

“Wow, the two of you just really didn’t hit it off, did you?” Ed teased.

Mustang smiled.  “I was too charming apparently.  And when I ended the date at her doorstep with a simple good night kiss she was quite offended that I didn’t intend to make more of the evening.”

“I thought you were all about showing your date a good time,” Ed commented before he could stop himself.

Mustang took a step into Ed’s space and smiled down at him.  He was only a few inches taller now but it was enough to feel like Mustang was crowding around him.  “Only if I think they’re capable of returning the favor.  If my date can’t keep up with me, then it’s a quick kiss and a good-night.  Not everyone is as capable of keeping up as you are, Fullmetal.”

Ed took a step back and bumped into the desk’s edge, which was just the distraction he needed.  He turned his thoughts away from Mustang and reciprocating… anything … and began to look through the papers.

“Just take what looks like it could be useful and we’ll start the research back at the office.  We do still have a train to catch to Resembool tomorrow.”

“You’re going to Resembool?”

“When Al found out I was in East City he called to see if I would stop in.  It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen him.  I thought it was time to catch him before he took off.”

“And it makes a great excuse to avoid the paperwork for another day.”

“Indeed, but I also need to go to Ishval so it will be a short side trip on my way.  The rest of the team will already be on the way there.”

Ed began shuffling through papers while Mustang found a box and began to fill it with books and handwritten journals.  Ed added his own finds to the box then went hunting for another box.  They ended up with three full boxes before the alchemic notes were all packed away.

“Your lighter,” Mustang broke the silence of their work with the one word.

“Oh, I forgot about that.  Give it back, Bastard.”

He held it in his hand, looking over the front and back.  “Why do you keep a lighter?  You haven’t taken up Havoc’s horrid habits, have you?”

“Nah, Al would kill me.  It’s in case your gloves get ruined, Bastard.”

Mustang stared at him for a moment, then narrowed his eyes.  “How long have you been doing that?”

“Since Lust.”

“Really?” he asked as he set the lighter back into Ed’s hand.  Mustang didn’t take his hand away though.  It rested with his fingertips on Ed’s palm and Ed swallowed against a lump in his throat.

“I know the cuts were deep enough to scar so even without your gloves you’d be able to use your alchemy.  You just needed a source of ignition.  Since you wouldn’t carry a lighter on principle,” Ed said with a small smile, “I started to carry one.  Just in case.”

“Ed, I didn’t know you cared.”

“I don’t, Bastard.”

“This says otherwise,” he said as his fingers moved over the face of the lighter.  He leaned closer then, his lips almost against Ed’s ear.  His breath was warm as he continued, “this says you worry about me.  Even two years later, you still keep it for me.”

Mustang pulled back but he angled his chin slightly and Ed felt the drag of cheek against cheek before Mustang was looking down into his eyes.

He reached out with his automail hand and grabbed Mustang’s jacket.  He wasn’t sure what he wanted, only that he didn’t want the other man to move away.  Ed really wanted to punch the smirk right off Mustang’s lips, but he really wanted to lean just a bit closer and see what they felt like.

“Ed?” Mustang said his name softly, their lips almost brushing as he spoke.

The sound of a car pulling up outside made Ed let go and back across the room from Mustang. 

“Chief?”

“We’re back here Havoc,” Mustang called down the hallway.  Mustang’s mask was back in place and Ed couldn’t believe just a moment ago they’d been… he’d almost…

He closed his eyes and tried to still his heart, but the image of Mustang so close, his lips a breath away, seemed to chase the darkness.  He had no doubt what he’d dream of tonight, damn it.

When he looked back at Mustang he was all business, but as soon as Hawkeye and Havoc had their backs turned, the look Mustang gave him was one of regret.

 

 

The train ride was mostly quiet.  As they waited for the train, Hawkeye had handed Mustang a case full of paperwork to do on the train and a threatening glare that Ed knew even the Bastard would listen to. 

It was for the best.  Ed had no idea what he’d say anyway.  Whatever had been happening with him and Mustang, it couldn’t be what Ed thought it was.  Maybe Mustang had caught on to Ed’s feelings and was teasing him?  It certainly made more sense than the idea that Mustang actually cared for him in return.   Mustang was older and experienced, suave in ways that Ed never even thought about.  Ed was just a stupid kid, dogged down with nightmares from a chaotic life, and no future to speak of.

As if to prove Ed’s thoughts correct, Mustang stopped at a vendor when they got off the train and took flowers to Pinako, for allowing him to intrude he said.  He also seemed to have been brushing up on his automail information because over lunch he asked Winry some very well placed questions about Ed’s arm that had her looking at said appendage like she needed to rip it off and change something.  He listened attentively to Al’s stories and answered all of his questions about the people they’d left in Central.  

It wasn’t just that Mustang knew how to read and play people.  It was that Mustang cared about people.  And sure, Ed wanted good things to happen to people, but he wasn’t great at the details. 

As the afternoon wore on, Ed was more and more confused by the General.  Mustang wasn’t any different than he ever had been.  Ed wasn’t a fool.  He knew how attractive Mustang was.  Everyone did.  The man exuded grace and confidence until it was an aura of gravity that pulled everyone in.  It wasn’t that though.  Well, not just about that.

The physical attraction he’d gotten used to a long time ago.  The Bastard was a game player and that had always put Ed off.  When he was younger he hated the way Mustang went from girl to girl, never cared for anyone longer than it gave him pleasure, and then moved along.  He understood now, in ways he couldn’t back then, that so much of what Mustang showed the world was just a ploy.  His games weren’t trivial.  He was playing on a global scale and back then Ed hadn’t been capable of seeing anything but Al. 

Now, everything Mustang did was to bring him closer to his goal of becoming Fuhrer, of making Amestris a place they could be proud to call home again.  Of making State Alchemist a title that wasn’t synonymous with butcher. 

And knowing that, knowing the sort of dedication Mustang had shown, how he’d sacrificed his reputation in ways most people wouldn’t know, having seen past the façade, Ed couldn’t help but find himself attracted to the man behind the masks.

When he got to see him.

“It was just a curious question,” Mustang said with a smile and his hands held in surrender to Winry.  “It just seems as often as we paid to have Fullmetal’s arm fixed we should get some sort of discount.”

“Well, maybe if you’d thought about it back then, but it hasn’t broken since he left the military.”

“Took leave,” Mustang corrected her.

“What?”

“Ed took leave of the Military, he didn’t leave it.  He’s still a major.”

“Hey! Why did you get the big promotion and I’m still just a major?”

“Do you want to wear the uniform?” The general asked innocently enough, but Ed remembered the way he’d commented about Ed looking good in a uniform. 

He swallowed nervously.  “Nah, major’s good.”

“I thought you were done,” Winry said, confused. 

He knew she was.  They were about to leave for the train station and for the last two years Ed had let her think he was done with the military.  The problem was Ed still didn’t know exactly what he was doing with his life.  He hadn’t been able to let go of Mustang and his team just yet.  The last few days showed him just how much he’d needed that life.  He hadn’t been happier in …

He needed to not think about that. 

Either way, even if his contract had come to an end, he’d still be thinking hard about it.  Being a State Alchemist opened doors that he didn’t have on his own.  It also paid really well and that was great since Al wanted to eat him out of house and home. 

It wasn’t fair to anyone.  To Mustang and the gang at the office, wondering when he might return, or to Winry who wondered when he might be leaving again.

None of this was fair and he still didn’t have the answers he needed.  He’d thought he did, until he ran into Mustang in East City.  It was easier to push off his feelings as something else when he wasn’t face to face with the General. 

“Winry!”  Granny called from the workshop at the back of the house.  She stepped through the door before Winry could respond.  “I’m sorry Winry, but Mr. Ruthy just came in with an emergency repair.  He needs you.”

Winry looked back at them with tears in her eyes and Al smiled at her.  “It’s okay Winry.  Go help people.  I’ll call you when I get a chance and I’ll write every day!”

“Oh Al,” she grabbed him into a hug and Ed noticed that Mustang had stepped out to give them some privacy to say their good-byes.

“It’s fine Winry, really,” Al said again.

“Take care of yourself. And you tell Jerso and Zampano if they don’t take care of you then they’ll have to answer to me!  Got it!”

Al laughed as he pulled her a little tighter. “I will.”

“Call as soon as you can.  You know I worry.”

“I will.  Good-bye Winry.”

“Bye, Al.”

Al gave Ed a head tilt, like he didn’t know it was his turn.  When his brother went out the door, he heard Mustang’s voice and Al’s shaky laughter.

“I know you won’t call,” Winry said with a sigh.

“I won’t write either,” he agreed.

“Why do you have to be so difficult, Ed?  I just want to know if you’re okay.  You’re going to be gone a whole year.  That’s a lot of time for me to worry.”

“Then stop worrying, already.  Seriously, Winry, I’m a State Alchemist.  I doubt anyone is going to start trouble with me.”

“Ed, it happens all the time.”

“Yeah, well, not anymore.  I’ll be home before you know in Winry.”

He grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug.  It would be a long time and he would miss her.  She was everything he’d ever wanted as a child.  He and Al used to fight about who would marry her.  Now, when he actually had a chance, Ed didn’t know what he wanted anymore. 

He couldn’t ask her to wait, not without some sort of promise and he wasn’t sure he was capable of that right now.  He needed to figure out what he was going to do next and until then, his future was up for grabs. 

“Better get back there before Granny comes looking for you.”

“Take care, Ed.  And please, call us sometime.”

“I’ll try.  Bye Winry.”

“Bye Ed.”

There were tears on her face now and he used his hand to brush them away.  On impulse he pulled her close and placed a kiss on her forehead.  She squeezed her arms around him tighter in return.  When he stepped back, she was blushing and it felt too much like she was making a promise to him.

He headed out the door then, unsure of what he’d just done but ready to have his feet on the pavement. 

“I had no idea!” Al was saying as Ed joined the other two.

“Ling has a lot of work cut out for him, but we’re trying to make it work.  I’ll be sure to let you know if I end up making the trip.  I’m sure I can find time in my schedule to make a side visit to catch up.”

“So you can report back to my brother?”

Mustang laughed.  “So I can report back to my staff.  If I don’t get enough updates they get weepy eyed.  It’s terrible.  I almost had to send Havoc to spy on you a few times.  Hawkeye has had to keep her hand on her holster on more than one occasion.”

It was interesting to listen to Al and Mustang together.  He knew that Al had been calling the General to keep in touch once they left Central.  Al was better at that than he was.  He kept in touch with Gracia and Armstrong and Izumi.  He called and wrote letters to Ling and Mei and to the Ishvalan.  Almost everyone who had been a part of the Promised Day had somehow ended up on Al’s list of people to keep in contact with.  And he was good at it.  He let Ed know what was happening and he convinced people to visit Resembool when they could.

Al’s relationship with Mustang wasn’t as fraught with tension as Ed’s own.  When he listened to the two of them, it was almost like a mentor and a younger student.  Mustang wasn’t barking orders and Al wasn’t bending over backwards to comply.  But sometimes Al got books of published articles of alchemic significance and Ed knew Mustang had sent them.   Al would devour them, then lock himself in the room with the phone and talk for ages.  And then Ed would get the second hand argument and he’d have to read it just to be able to correct everyone.

In his own odd way, Mustang cared a great deal about Alphonse and Ed could tell.  And it made his stomach flip flop all over again.  Mustang would never doubt why Ed put his brother first.  He would never question it.  Winry did too, but out of everyone in the world, Mustang would understand what he went through for his brother.  Even more than Winry, who heard bits and pieces of stories but she’d never had to see all of it and he never wanted her to. 

“You’re awfully quiet, Brother,” Al said as a silence grew in the conversation.

“Just thinking.  A year away from Resembool.  You think you’re ready for it?”

“I might miss Winry’s apple pie, but I’m ready for the rest.  Mei Chang said her family was very excited to meet an actual Alchemist.”

“You’ll be a good teacher, if they want to learn,” Mustang commented.

“You think?”

“I do.  You have all the patience a teacher needs, as well as the kindness and the knowledge to back it up.  Unlike other people I know.”

“Hey!  I could have been a teacher!”

“I know they offered you a position at the University in Central but I’m sure you turning it down was in everyone’s best interest,” Mustang said with a smirk.

“You did what?  You didn’t tell me Brother!”

“I’m not the teaching type, Al.  Seriously, can you see me teaching?”

“Yeah, I can.  You taught me.”

Ed rolled his eyes.  “Don’t let Izumi hear you say that.”

The rest of the walk continued in friendly banter and Ed let his mind wander.  He had plenty to see in the next year and he hoped that being away from Amestris would help him figure out what to do next.  Seeing the world was a good start; learning about the ways of the Cretans, and maybe stopping in Aerugo if he had some time. 

He needed to find something to center himself.  He needed that passion that had driven him to bring his mother back, to bring Al’s body back.  He was missing it, and he was floundering in indecision with everything else in his life because of that.  Some nights, he dreamt he was sinking into the ground in front of the Resembool station, unable to move forward or go back. 

He hated that damn dream.   

The train was already at the station when they arrived and Mustang shook Al’s hand.  “Take care, Alphonse.  I’ll look forward to hearing about your adventures.  Call me when you get settled in Xing.”

“Of course,” Al said as he looked at Ed.  “Some of us know how to pick up a phone.”  He teased.  “And when Ed calls to check up on me, I’ll make sure to let you know he’s still alive too.”

“That would be appreciated,” Mustang said with a smile. 

“Alright, don’t you have a car or something to take you away?” Ed grumbled. 

Al laughed.  “I’ll go grab us a seat, Brother.”

He shook his head as Al ran off, leaving him alone with Mustang. 

“Where are you parting ways?” Mustang asked.

“Central.  Al is meeting up there with the others.  He wanted to see Gracia and Elysia before he took off.  I’ll just grab a connecting train out of Central and head west.”

“Take care of yourself, Ed.  Try not to get into too much trouble when you’re gone.  And call or write every so often so we know you aren’t dead.”

Ed looked down at his feet for a moment.  He wasn’t sure what to say.  He knew the others cared about him, but he was shit at communicating his own feelings.  He felt like he should say something, to let Mustang know that whatever those moments had been, he wanted more of them. Ed was going to be gone for a year though.  He had even less to offer Mustang than he did Winry and he hadn’t been able to promise her anything either.    

“Yeah, alright.  I’m gonna find the most obnoxious postcards to send you.  Maes level annoyance,” Ed teased.  He didn’t know if Mustang really wanted to know what he’d been doing in his travels or if it was just the polite thing to say, but Ed wondered if he wrote, would Mustang write back?  

Mustang laughed and it wasn’t the guarded laughter Ed usually saw.  It was open and free and Ed felt his stomach flip flop over it. 

“Well… I should go,” Ed said quietly.  He started to hold his hand out to Mustang, but the other man took hold of it and pulled him into an embrace instead.

“If you get into trouble, you know to call us.  We’ll always take care of you, Ed.  You and your brother,” Mustang said softly.  “Don’t make me worry too much, okay?”  He pulled back slightly, like the other day in the alchemist’s house, his breath against Ed’s cheek.  “I look forward to your postcards.”

Ed looked up, his head tilted to just the right angle, but Mustang took a step back and Ed let out a shuddered breath.  “Hold your breath, Bastard.”

Mustang’s smile was back to the guarded expression he often wore and Ed was about to question it when he heard his name shouted.  He looked over his shoulder and Winry was running towards the station.  Had Mustang backed off because of Winry?  Or had it just been a bit of harmless flirting that the man seemed to do, easy as breathing?

“I’ll let you say your good-byes to Miss Rockbell.  Happy travels, Fullmetal.”

“Be safe, Colonel Bastard!” he called to Mustang’s departing back.

Mustang looked back one last time and called out, “Don’t forget my postcards, Brat!”  The General turned and walked away with a slight wave of the hand.

He wanted to say something else but he was almost knocked off his feet as Winry plowed into him.

“Winry!”

“Sorry, I just…” she stopped to catch her breath and he realized she’d run the whole way.  “Client finished.  Wanted to be here.”

When she looked up at him, she smiled and there was something about Winry that always made him go a little softer on the inside.  Except of course when they were yelling at each other, which was a good deal of the time. 

It wasn’t bad though.  He and Winry had always been close.  She didn’t understand alchemy and he didn’t understand her gear-head obsession, but they had always been able to understand each other.  She was easy to read and never made him guess at what she was thinking.

Two years ago, he’d thought he’d come home to find the girl of his dreams waiting for him.  And he had.  He just still hadn’t been able to get the words off his tongue to ask her to be his.  Something always stopped him.  It was like every time he opened his mouth to speak, the air left his lungs and fire seared his heart. 

And no matter how much he tried to deny it, he knew exactly why that metaphor came to his mind.  Why that particular boundary was there to begin with.

And why Winry, here in front of him held less of his attention than the man getting into a car down at the other end of the train station. 

But that was a fool’s dream.  Mustang was going to be Fuhrer someday and no matter what Ed wanted, no matter how much Mustang might tempt and tease, there was no future that allowed them to be together.

Mustang would never wait for him.  He would never be able to date Ed publically, not when he was his subordinate.  And dating someone of the same sex would – while not entirely set him back – still cost him some popularity with the people.  That didn’t count the age difference.  Or the rumors that had followed Ed and Mustang around since before Ed was actually old enough to understand exactly what people were implying.  If there was something between them, it would be passion and fire, but Mustang needed someone who could be as strong in the public’s eye as he was in private.  Ed wasn’t that person. 

Winry was good though.  She was steady and familiar, comforting, and someone he could be good for.  He could make her happy.  All he could do for Mustang was caught trouble and controversy.

And so he finally did it.  “Equivalent exchange.  I’ll give half of my life to you if you give half of yours to me!”

Winry stared at him with big eyes and he knew then he’d made a mistake.  He couldn’t even commit to writing and calling her.  How could he commit to anything else?  She might make him happy on some level, but he would never be able to settle down and life with her would never be enough for him.  He would never be satisfied. 

She sighed and shook her head.  “Aw… come on, do you have to treat everything like alchemy?  The whole equivalent exchange thing is nonsense.”

“What did you say?”  He wasn’t sure what angered him more; that he’d made the mistake of talking about his feelings to her and she was rejecting him, or that she was putting down the concept of equivalent exchange.

“It’s nonsense.  How about I just give you my whole life?”  She blushed furiously at what she’d said and Ed realized she wasn’t rejecting him.  “Ah, maybe not all of it,” she backpedaled.  “Ninety, maybe eighty percent.  Seventy… that’s not enough but eighty five.  Yeah eighty five is a good number!” 

He couldn’t help it then.  He started to laugh.  He was so damn confused about everything else, but Winry had always been able to find a way to make him smile. 

“What?!” she demanded.  “Shut up!”

“Sorry!”  He tried to get his breath back, but he was still laughing slightly and he smiled at her.

“Edward!”

“You are so incredible,” he said, and he meant every word of it.  No matter anything else, Winry was amazing.  “You knocked equivalent exchange flat on its butt in just a few words!”

“And what’s that mean? Are you making fun of me?”

“Not at all,” he said fondly as he grabbed her arms and pulled her in for a tight embrace.  No matter how confused he was and how messed up he made things, he knew he always had Winry and she’d always make things right for him.  “Thanks for cheering me up.   I’ll miss you. Good-bye.  For now.” 

He felt her arms wrap around him tightly then.  “Come home soon.”

He let out a deep breath and climbed onto the train.  He turned back to look at her, but noticed a black car in the background.  He saw Mustang leaning against the car door, his arms crossed and a serious look on his face.  Ed wasn’t sure what he read there but there was no doubt the General had seen the scene with Winry.    

He turned back around and boarded the train.  Al was easy to find and he slid onto the bench next to his brother.  The train wasn’t very crowded today so they had a little space to themselves. 

“Do you know what you’re doing, Brother?” Al asked as Ed looked out the window. 

Ed waved out across the way to Mustang, a final farewell, but he realized Winry thought the gesture was for her and he smiled when he made eye contact with her.

“No idea,” Ed admitted.  “I think I screwed up and Winry saved me from myself.”

“Is that what you think just happened?” Al asked.  His voice was exasperated and a little annoyed but Ed was rather used it to when it came to him and Winry.

“Yeah.  So, where are you meeting Zampano and Jerso?”

They started to go over the plans again and Ed let go of the train station and just thought about what was ahead for them.

 

_1918_

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_It was a pleasant surprise to run into you at the Cretan government offices last month.  I’m not sure who was the most surprised; me at the way the Cretans viewed you as a sort of celebrity, or them at the way you shouted ‘Bastard’ across the building at me.  Luckily they are a good natured people and took the name with some aplomb.  To be honest, it made my meeting much easier.  The formality they seemed to insist on giving me as the ‘Hero of Ishval’ dwindled quite quickly and we were able to get much more done.  So thank you for that._

_I am glad to hear that you have used your time in Creta well.  They are an interesting people.  I haven’t been able to spend much time there with the way my work has called me to Ishval but it was a nice change of pace.  As was dinner that night.   I doubt anyone would have led me to such a hole in the wall, nor such a delicious meal and entertainment.  Although, I will continue to argue against Stidham’s hypothesis with my dying breath._

_Our work in Ishval is almost done.  Miles and the Ishvalan will remain to continue to oversee operations there, but in the next few months my team and I will begin to concentrate more on another task.  We will begin to oversee the building of an Ishvalan embassy in Central City.  It will take years to get the idea finalized through Parliament and then to get it designed in a way that both the Parliament and the Ishvalans will agree to, but I think it will be beneficial to all.  If we do it right, I would imagine we will see one for each of our allies soon enough.  When I spoke with the Emperor of Xing last week he was very interested in it.  He sends his regard to you, as does your brother.  Alphonse keeps in close contact with us_

_I will keep you up to date on the Ishvalan Embassy.  Alphonse thought it might be interesting to include a museum in the construction of the lobby to allow Amestrian families to see the wonders of the Ishvalan culture.  Miles and the Ishvalan both became taken with the idea when I mentioned it.  They have asked that there be some sort of dedication to the Hughes family as well.  I had no idea that Maes had dedicated time and funds to Ishvalan refugee camps since the Ishvalan War but I did know how much work Gracia has done to help the Ishvalan people in Central City._

_The Ishvalan thinks the recognition of the Hughes’ work will go a long way to sooth some people’s fears.  I don’t know if it will help or not, but I am proud to have known them both and having Gracia to work with in Central lightens the day, when dark memories often try to intrude._

_I also wish to congratulate you on your engagement, though Al was rather surprised I hadn’t heard about it from you already.  You would think with our recent dinner meeting or all the empty postcards, simply labeled, Bastard, with a return address, that there would have been enough room to write a little of it.   Miss Rockbell is a fine woman and I’m sure the two of you will be very happy._

_I look forward to your next postcard and news of your whereabouts.   I imagine the trek home will begin soon as the wedding day approaches.  Be safe, Fullmetal._

_Sincerely,_

_General Roy Mustang_

 

 

_1919_

_General Bastard,_

_Winry is already mad at me for calling you Bastard, but if she wanted this to be more cordial she probably should have written it herself._

_This is supposed to be a thank you letter.  So thank you.  Winry couldn’t believe you’d noticed her looking at a set of wrenches when she visited Central and went to lunch with the team.  I told her it was just like you to notice because details are your thing, but she was touched anyway.  The crystal drink service you gave us was beautiful as well.  I swear every time I drink from it I see fire.  Not sure where you found them but they’re pretty cool._

_I also wanted to say thank you for your speech.  I was surprised and touched by your words.  You know I’m no good with that sort of thing.  So just, you know, I miss my days at the office too, but I know you guys are okay without me.  And you know I’ve still got your back if you need it.  Ever.  Any of you._

_For years you watched after me and my brother, as best you could, and I appreciate that.  I promise to do the same for you and yours._

_Mostly, thank you for being there.  You and your team were there for Al and I at our neediest and worst.  It was nice to get a chance to see everyone at their best.  You looked pretty good even out of uniform, Bastard._

_Major Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist_

_P.S.  Winry says I’m not supposed to end thank you notes with my military title, but since she’s already pissed I started it with General Bastard, I might as well end it strong, right?_

_1919_

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_I hope the winter weather is treating you well in Resembool.  I spoke with Al last week and he informed me that you had been having issues with your automail recently.  I hope you are feeling better.  I happen to know you have the best automail mechanic in Amestris working on it, so by now it is sure to have been cared for._

_I had a delightful dinner with Gracia and Elysia last night. They are doing very well.  Elysia asked if I could help her get a visit from her ‘big brothers’ and I told her I would pass the request on.  Gracia, as always, has been a constant source of amazement to me.  I must be honest, and admit that Maes did not exaggerate when he called her an angel.  She has been a godsend in my work with the Ishvalans in Central City._

_And through her I received yet another surprise.  She informed me that Al was considering moving to Central City to study at the University.  He has spoken a few times to me of the possibility of returning to academia to try to integrate his understanding of alchemy and his passion for alchehestry, but he did not mention the possible move last week.  Please let him know if he needs any help I would surely assist._

_I may be a soldier and not nearly as beloved as the Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother, but the Flame Alchemist still has some pull in the alchemy world.  I would be more than happy to put in a word for Alphonse, in recompense for all the help he gave us over the years.  And for his unexpected friendship over the last few years._

_Please know that if he does make that decision, my team and I will keep an eye on him._

_Sincerely,_

_General Roy Mustang_

_P.S. The last postcard you sent me from Youswell smelled of ale so strongly Hawkeye checked my desk to be certain I had not snuck drinks into my office._

 

 

It had been, when all was said and done, an entirely shitty day.  Those weren’t words Roy Mustang thought lightly.  It had started with an especially vicious nightmare that he hadn’t been able to fall back asleep from.   He’d gotten up and had a few cups of coffee, trying not to think of Ishval, civil wars, the Truth, or the black of his walls that had left him momentarily confused and sure that his blindness had returned.  The fire in the grate did little to dispel his internal chill, and he’d dressed far too early to be at the office but unwilling to sit in his empty home and play victim to his nightmares any longer.

The day dragged on.  Havoc continued to complain about his never ending cycle of first dates, and Hawkeye was far too sharp eyed as she watched him work in silence. 

Lunch was taken on the run as his meeting with the Fuhrer had to be moved up suddenly.  Once there he was forced to listen to another general’s backward ideas of how to move Amestris forward.  The man had no vision.  Mustang could deal with opposition that was well thought out and planned.  The man simply refused to comment on which side of anything he stood for.  He was an obstacle that would be difficult to remove.  After all, if a man stood for nothing, what would he fall for?      

After that meeting, he’d had to inspect the alchemy labs as the tedious man in charge tried to tell him all about their ground breaking strides on things Fullmetal and Alphonse had done in the field years before with little more than a moment’s thought. 

He’d had no word from Ed since he wrote a few months back and Al himself hadn’t sent anything recently either, nor had he called.  If it hadn’t been for Gracia’s weekly phone calls from Alphonse, he would be worried. 

Hawkeye had offered to let him go home early, but Roy hadn’t wanted to head back to his place yet, still too haunted by his dreams of the night before, so he’d opted to work late.

Dinner with Armstrong had been insightful on a number of fronts and he’d felt a little better.  Now, at least, the glass in his hand didn’t feel quite so damning and the fire warmed his spirits a little.  He had the radio playing softly in the background, a soft melody that floated through his spacious home with a song that reminded him of learning to dance with Aunt Chris when he was younger. 

And of course, as he was just starting to feel settled for the first time that day, someone began to pound on his front door.

He thought about ignoring it, but few enough people knew where he lived that an intrusion like this meant he was needed somewhere.

He let out a deep breath and walked to the front door.  He thought about grabbing his uniform jacket that hung in the closet but decided against it. 

The banging came again and he was worried the door wouldn’t hold against such a pounding but he was more concerned with the urgency behind it.  When he pulled the door open, he stared in surprise.

“Hey, Bastard.”

Fullmetal was outside his doorstep, luggage and brother, in tow.

“Fullmetal?”

“Gonna let us in?”

“Of course, excuse my manners.  Please, come in,” he said as he stepped back and made way.

“You didn’t know we were coming, did you?” Alphonse asked with a frown at the back of his brother’s head.  Although Ed had grown considerably since Alphonse had gotten his own body back, the younger brother was still the taller of the two.

“No, I’m afraid I didn’t,” Roy answered.  “I am delighted to see you, as always, Alphonse.”

Al smiled at him and Ed just looked around the hallway.

“Ed!  You said he was fine with this!”  There was embarrassment in his voice as well as a blush on his cheeks and Roy had no idea what Alphonse was worried about, but he couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“He is!  Or he will be.”  Ed said.  He finally looked back at Roy and there was a challenging smirk on his face.  “So, you gonna let us stay or not?”

“Excuse me?”

“Al got into the University so we need to place to stay until we can find a place of our own.  We can stay here, right?”

“Of course,” Roy said a second later.  He understood Al’s concern then and he smiled at the younger man.  “I have a spare room this way.  Bring your things up and you can get settled.  Have you had dinner already?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Ed said as Roy led them to the spare room.  It was nothing fancy, but it boasted a bed he knew they could both fit well enough in, a dressed, and a desk and chair they could use for anything else.  If they needed more space to work on anything, Roy had a study they could use as well.  And a library he was sure the brothers would enjoy.

“It was a long train ride though,” Alphonse said.  “We got stuck and had to wait for the track to get cleared.”

“How about I prepare some tea while you get settled in?”

“That would be great.  Thanks, General.”

“You’re staying in my guest room, Al.  You could at least call me Roy while you’re here.”

Alphonse beamed at him and Roy turned to get the tea.

“What, I don’t get to call you Roy?” Ed asked.

“You’ve yet to call me by the appropriate name at any given time.  I didn’t figure you needed my permission to use my first name,” Roy said over his shoulder.

“Damn straight, Colonel Bastard!” Ed called to his back.

“Brother, really?  After you just show up on his doorstep-”

The bedroom door closed between them and Roy couldn’t hear what Alphonse had to say but he couldn’t help the smile on his face.  The Elric brothers, under his roof, would certainly make it feel a lot less empty tonight. 

He went into the kitchen and set the water to boil and got out a plate of snacks for the two.  He wasn’t sure what they’d eaten but he’d never known Ed to turn down food.  Alphonse either, once he’d gotten his body back.

He had just set the tea in the front room when the brothers found him.

“You have a beautiful home, General.  Roy.”

“Thank you Alphonse,” he said as he indicated the tea and snacks on the table.  He settled into his sitting chair and took a sip of brandy.

“I bet Hawkeye decorated it,” Ed said.

“Heavens, no,” Roy laughed.  “While I appreciate Hawkeye’s opinion on most things, her concern when asked about decorating tends to veer towards exit strategies and what would make good obstacles if someone started shooting.”  He took another sip.  “Aunt Chris and her girls helped out a bit with the finishing touches but most if it was my own.”

“Very fitting for the future Fuhrer,” Ed said.

“I try.  Ed, you said you needed to find a place for Alphonse?  Have you begun to narrow places down?”

“Nah, I figured we’d have better luck if we came and put in some foot work.”

“You are more than welcome here, as long as you need it.  I have a library you might enjoy peeking into as well,” he suggested.

“After we look for a place to live,” Alphonse said before Ed could comment.

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

Alphonse yawned into his tea and then turned red for it.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Feel free to turn in, Alphonse.  You don’t need to keep me company.  We can catch up over breakfast tomorrow.”

“That sounds great.  Thank you, again, for letting us stay here.”

“It’s truly no problem, Alphonse.”

“Good night, Brother.  Don’t keep the General up too late.  He has work in the morning and I don’t think Hawkeye would let him off the hook even if he did tell them you were to blame.”

Ed waved his brother off and Roy was left alone with Ed Elric for the first time since the day Ed had left for Creta.  Since the day Roy had finally thought perhaps he and Ed were on the same page, only to watch him propose to his wife from a distance a few moments later.

He’d gotten over the confusion of that day, the hurt, but he had never been able to get over his feelings for Ed.  The man was beautiful and their sporadic visits, letters, and phone calls over the years hadn’t changed that.  In fact, the rarity of their interactions seemed to have fueled his feelings. 

Ed was sitting on the couch, his tea held in his hands, his hair dancing with the warm light of the fire.  He wasn’t just beautiful.  He was stunning, in Roy’s home, surrounded by this things.  It was a dangerous place for his mind to go.

“How long are you planning to stay in town?” Roy asked to break the silence. 

Ed looked up from his thoughts and sighed.  “Guess I might as well get to it now, right?” Ed asked.  “I’m staying.  Al is going to school and I want to be close.  I thought… well… I was in touch with Armstrong and he said I could work as a contractor for Investigations and he could loan me out to you.”

“What?”  He wasn’t even sure what he was asking for clarification for.

“I don’t want to be a dog of the military so I can’t work for you.  But, Investigations uses contractors.  Alex said he would sign me up as a contractor and loan me to you for work.  So if there is a mission I don’t agree with or research I find that I need to work on, I’m not obliged to do it.”

“You’re coming back to work for me?”

“Uh hu.”

“You’re moving to Central?”

“Yep.”

“Is Winry moving her shop here?”

“No.  She’s staying in Resembool.  She’s getting a name for herself from her work on the Fullmetal Alchemist and her connections in Rush Valley.  She doesn’t want to move and besides, she loves Resembool.  We always knew I’d never be able to settle there for long.”

“So …”

“So I’m moving to Central and I’ll just go back to Resembool to see Winry when I can.  It worked when Al was a suit of armor.  I don’t see why everyone keep sticking their nose in to ask if it till does now.”

Roy looked at Ed for a moment before he realized that the young man really believed it.  “And Winry was fine with this arrangement?”

“Moving to Central?  Yeah.  Like I said, just like old times.”

“Ed.”

Ed looked away from the fire to look at him.  When it came to the battlefield, Roy had never had any trouble understanding Ed.  In moments like these though, he was a complete mystery. 

“What are you really doing here?” He had to ask because while he was quite able to control his feelings, Ed moving to Central without his wife was … problematic.

“You know what I’m doing here, Mustang.” Ed said, his voice a quiet that belied the tempest in his eyes.

There was something dark there, something that Roy wanted to tear apart, but he had no right to whatever Ed Elric held secret.  “No, I really don’t.”  He wanted to.  He wanted to believe that Ed felt the same that he did and that he’d moved to Central to be with him, but Ed was a married man.  Nothing in any of this made sense. 

Ed let out a short, bitter laugh and finished the rest of his tea as Roy watched, waiting for an answer.  “Imagine that.  I finally know more than the Great Roy Mustang.”

He set his empty cup on the table, then got up and walked towards the door.  “Good night, Roy.  Sweet Dreams.”

“To you as well, Edward.”

Roy took another sip of his glass and decided against filling it again.  He wasn’t worried about the nightmares that plagued his thoughts anymore.  No, he knew exactly what sort of dreams would find their way to his mind tonight. 

Either way, he would get little rest, dreaming of the man sleeping just down the hall from him tonight.

 

 

It didn’t take long to find a place to settle into.  Neither Ed nor Al needed much; a bed to sleep in, a kitchen, and a place to throw their books were really all they wanted.  It was small but with an extra bedroom that they could turn into a work room.  They spent as little money as possible on things like furniture.  They bought two small, cheap desks and Al transmuted them into a larger, sturdy working desk for them while Ed fixed the broken bookcases they’d bought until they were sturdy enough to handle their ever growing book collection. 

Ed ran a hand over the work table and smiled at the books that had already begun to cover its surface as Al began studying for school in earnest.  Most of Ed’s research was at the office but there were a few files he’d brought home to look at. 

It was good to be back at the office, and even though he’d only been back a month, it felt like he’d never left.  It was almost like they’d expected him to come back and had kept his space ready for him.  Even if he’d rarely been in the office to begin with.

The team had come over tonight when Al decided they needed to have a housewarming to let their friends see their new place.  Ed hadn’t really wanted to, but Al insisted.  He invited a few friends from his classes which turned out to be fairly interesting; not because Ed had any interest in what they were studying, but because most of the students were studying alchemy or knew it in some way and having them face to face with the Flame Alchemist was hysterical.  Ed could tell that Roy was uncomfortable with the attention, even as he put on his best cocky grin and began to charm them all. 

A few of Al’s classmates were interested in the military so the rest of the team was engaged in conversation as well.    When Ed tried to keep a low profile, it was Mustang who reminded Al’s friends that Ed was the Fullmetal Alchemist.  He’d gotten drawn into the conversation and ended up talking the evening away with the students.  It was odd because while they were his age, he felt more like a mentor than a peer.

When they had gone, the team had left them a houseplant, Hawkeye had given both Ed and Al a blank ledger for personal research, and Mustang had found an incredibly old and rare manuscript that compared ancient alchemic legends.  Al had wanted to refuse it but Ed had thanked the general before his brother could give it back.  Ed knew better than to think that Mustang would take it back anyway.  He was stubborn, which they’d known even before they’d lived with him for a month. 

Now, Ed ran his fingers over it again, lightly touching the array on it that preserved it.  It was a thoughtful gift and one that wouldn’t have been easy to find.  It made him wonder if Mustang had just lucked upon it recently, or if he’d kept it for them, waiting for an occasion.

“Brother?”

“Hey Al, good party right?”

Al smiled and Ed still couldn’t help but smile back.  Five years hadn’t dimmed his joy at seeing his brother’s smile. 

“The best.  I know you didn’t want this, but it was fun.  My friends really liked you.  And the team.”  He looked at the manuscript at Ed’s fingertips and sighed.    “I can’t believe he gave us that.”

“It’s Mustang.  You know if he was going to give a gift it would have to be over the top.”

Al was staring at the manuscript and Ed wasn’t sure what he saw on his brother’s face.  “The General has always taken good care of us.  Even when we didn’t realize he was trying to help us, he was.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like we weren’t helping him out too.”

“Brother,” he said with an exasperated laugh, “we showed up at his door without warning and moved in for a month.”

“Yeah, but I’m working for him now.”

“Which you’re getting paid for.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Alright.  I admit, he’d been good to us.”

“Maybe too good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ed asked, but he knew what Alphonse meant.  He just didn’t want to deal with his brother’s questions tonight.  Other people made insinuations about Ed and his time in the military and he could push those aside.  Alphonse knew him too well though and sometimes his questions bordered on answers he didn’t want to give. 

“I just …  do you ever wonder why he took such good care of us?”

“Just to be contrary is my opinion.”

Ed could see Alphonse wanted to say something else, but his little brother just shook his head.  “I’m going to bed.  Good night, Brother.”

“Good night, Al.”

Al left the room and Ed took a deep breath.  He could hear his brother fumbling around the apartment as he got ready, then everything fell silent.

He tried not to think about it too hard, but in two week they’d been here he’d been having trouble sleeping.  Ed was used to nightmares.  He’d had them since he was 11 and sleepless nights came with the job he’d taken and the research he did.  It was different after the Promised Day though.  He’d had nightmares every night. 

He’d dreamt of the team, dead to white-bodied zombies, or to Bradley’s men.  He dreamed they’d been eaten by Gluttony and even imagined his own alchemy killing them.  He’d dreamed of his own death by fire, standing between Mustang and Envy, of Mustang’s death stepping between Ed and Father.  There were so many variations of death and destruction, of the retelling of his life in error; his mother’s transmutation but some nights it was Nina, or Hughes.  Some nights he witnessed his own hands doing it, others it was Mustang.  Some nights it was Al still in his armor, or Al giving himself up and going back into the armor to save them all.

The only time he’d slept well had been at Mustang’s.  Even the nights at Resembool had left him drenched in sweat.   Every night at Mustang’s though, Ed had fallen asleep to the sounds of Roy moving around his home.  He’d felt safe there for reasons he didn’t want to think about.  He’d always felt the need to protect Winry, even from his nightmares, but Roy made him feel cared for and safe.    He hated that it was his boss who gave him that and not his wife, but there was really nothing typical about his relationship with his CO.

Ed found the bottle of brandy he’d borrowed (snatched on the way out) from Mustang’s apartment when he’d packed the last of his things up and didn’t even bother with a cup.  He took a long pull from the bottle and settled into the one plush chair that Al had insisted on buying.  He leaned his head back and took another drink, but capped the bottle and set it on the floor behind him.

The drink might chase the nightmares away for a few hours, but they’d come back and it didn’t help the rest of it.  It didn’t help the restlessness he felt under his own roof, or the loneliness that had been absent just last month.      

 

 

When the phone rang, he picked it up, hoping for anything to get him out of the dreariness of his day. 

“Mustang,” he answered quickly.

“General Mustang, I hope I’m not bothering you.  It’s Winry Rockbell-Elric.”

“Winry, how are you?  I hope everything is well?”  Her voice sounded pleasant enough so it couldn’t be an emergency.  Over the years, he’d become accustomed to her calls.  Ed seemed to have a hard time corresponding with his wife while he was on the road and Mustang had been passing information back and forth between the two for some time.  Since Ed had come back to the military five years ago. 

“Everything is fine, General.  I was just trying to see if there was any word lately from my wayward husband.  He stopped on his way up North to switch out his automail but I haven’t heard from him since then,” she said with an exasperated sigh. 

“He called two days ago when we he arrived in West City.  He was merely going to help with some structural rebuilding.  After some flooding, they asked for an alchemist to help rebuilding a bridge that had been washed away and in testing the integrity of the other bridges in the city.”

“Thank you, General.  I know you can’t tell me much when he’s on official business, but I appreciate you letting me know he wasn’t in any danger.”

“I wish I could say that without feeling it was a lie, but you married a man who seemed to attract trouble.”

She let out a short laugh and as much as Roy knew Winry didn’t understand why Ed had returned to the military 5 years ago, she never failed to see the truth about him.  “You’re right about that.  Did he happen to mention how long he was going to be in the West?”

“It was supposed to be a week or two, but it could go either way with Fullmetal.  He could be done already and heading home, or he could be making more paperwork for me.”

“He does seem to love doing that,” Winry teased.

Roy laughed lightly.  As awkward as his relationship with Winry had once been, he was fairly certain he spoke with her more than Ed did.   “Is everything going well in Resembool?  How was your last visit to Rush Valley?” Ed had mentioned her visit the last time Roy had suggested he take a few days to go home to visit his wife.

“You knew about that?  Of course you did,” she said with a fond laugh.  “The visit was good.  It was nice to get back to see everyone.  Plus I made contact with a new supplier.  He’s been sending me his best materials and it’s really been a boon.”

“I’m sure your clients are appreciative.”

“They pay well for it, anyway.  Resembool is mostly quiet.  They opened a small Inn and a couple new restaurants.  A little clothing boutique opened up too.  Who would have thought we’d have a little civilization all the way out here?”

“I’ll have to stop and visit next time we’re coming through.”

“You should.  Though if you try to stay at the Inn you know I’ll show up and drag you home!”  Winry said.  “All of you have done so much for Ed and Al.  The least we can do is offer a roof when you’re in town.”

“I haven’t forgotten the offer.  I had planned to head to Ishval soon.  I’ll let you know when it happens and see if I can work in a little time to stop by.  Maybe I can drag Ed or Al along with me.”

Winry laughed again.  “Al isn’t too hard to convince.  Ed seems to drag his feet.”

“Fullmetal has always seemed to be too busy for the hours in the day,” he said diplomatically.

“His personal research is just as bad as his work,” Winry admitted.  “Do you understand what he and Al are working on?”

“They’re keeping it rather quiet,” Roy answered.  “But what I understand from Al, it seems to be more medicinal than anything I’ve seen before.  The mixture of alchemy and alchehestry is beyond me though.  Al keeps offering to teach me the Xingian way, but I’m an old dog.  I can only pick up so many new tricks.”

“I don’t believe that, General,” Winry said.  “Though Ed seemed to think it was more a matter of the time it would take to teach you that would get in your way.  Hard to be a general and a student, he said.”

“That is a true enough statement,” Roy admitted.  “I take it Mrs. Rockbell is well?”

“Granny is fine.  As fierce as ever.”

“Good to hear it.  I’ll be sure to pass on the information when I see Al tomorrow.  He’s always happy for news from Resembool.”

“Please send him my love,” Winry said.  “He’s not in trouble is he?”

“Al?  No.  He has some questions about elemental alchemy and he happened to remember he knew an expert in the field.  He asked to come over and get my perspective on some things.  I promise I’ll make sure he’s well fed before I send him on his way.”

“Thank you, General.  I should let you go.  I’m sure you have more important things to do that to talk to your subordinate’s wife.”

“Certainly nothing more pleasant though,” he reassured her. 

“You’re a flatterer, General.  Please tell the boys to call me when you speak with them next.”

“Of course.  Your call was a lovely surprise, Winry.  You know you never need wait to call.  I’m more than happy to keep you entertained if your husband is remiss in his duties.”

Her laughter made him smile.  “More than a flatterer.  Save your playboy ways, General.  I’m a married woman.”

“If you ever change your mind, you know where I am.”

“Good-bye General.”

“Have a pleasant day, Mrs. Rockbell-Elric.”

He hung up the phone and looked up in time to see Hawkeye walking in the room with more files.  “How is Winry?”

“She seems to be well.  Checking in on her wayward husband, as she calls him,” Roy said.  Hawkeye gave him a look that he wasn’t sure how to interpret.  “What?”

“Do they actually speak without you in the middle?”

“I would love to say it is only the occasional call where I have passed messages back and forth, but that would be a lie.”

“And you don’t think there is something wrong with that?”

“Who am I to interfere with their marriage if they both seem fine with it as it is?”

“You think Winry is happy with that?”

“I think she is independent enough to live with it.  I don’t know her well enough otherwise to say.”

Hawkeye gave him the look again.

“What?”

“You speak to her more than Ed.  Al is worried.”

“When did he speak to you about it?”

“He has been ever since they got married,” Hawkeye answered.  “It’s not really my business but, we’ve all invested a lot in keeping the Elrics happy.  Winry deserves it too.”

“I agree whole heartedly.”

She let out a sigh as she placed the files on his desk.  “I know you do, Sir.”  She sighed, and then continued, “You deserve something better than this, too.”

He looked up from the files sharply and glared at her.  It was a line they didn’t cross.  She was the only one that knew him well enough to understand exactly what he was feeling.  She was too close to saying something he couldn’t deny.  “That will be all, Lieutenant.”

She nodded sharply but when she turned to close the door on her way out, her look was far too knowing.

He sat back in his seat and brought a hand up to rub at his brow.  He knew what Hawkeye was saying but there was nothing he could do to change the facts of his life.  His true affections had never been fickle and his heart had set itself on a path that would never see him happy.  He had to be content with his path to becoming Fuhrer and seeing that his team, at least, got the happily ever after they deserved. 

 

 

_1925_

_Dear Mustang,_

_Briggs is beautiful in the winter.  Ha ha.  I’m kidding.  It’s so damn cold I can barely breathe.  Winry is trying out some new automail for the north and while my arm and leg are working just fine, my ports are aching the whole time.  I can’t wait to get back to Resembool and switch back to my other arm and leg._

_I was able to root out the trouble with the supply lines.  We found a group who were selling Briggs supplies off the line before they made it there.  I tracked the group back to Briggs and Armstrong was about to set some heads to roll until we realized they weren’t Briggs soldiers doing it.  A village at the base of the mountain was.  They were civilian contractors.  We shut down the ring so there shouldn’t be any more trouble.  I don’t think Armstrong is any more impressed with me than she was after my last visit, but I blame you.  What did you do to her anyway?  Did you try to date her?  That would explain a lot.  Remember that police investigator before I went to Creta that hated you?_

_I’m sure everyone was worried, but I’ll be back in time for the Embassy’s opening.  I think Winry’s going to have to take the automail off and give my ports a day to heal before she reattaches the other, but I’ll still be there.  I’m heading back in the morning.  She’ll be surprised.  I thought I would be a few days more._

_I spoke with Al on the phone last night and he said you took him to the symphony last week.  He sounded pretty lonely in his last letter but he seemed in higher spirits after that.  Thank you for taking care of him.  He also said he’d gone to dinner with Hawkeye.  I know you all care for Al, but I feel that you keep an eye on him for me as well and I can’t ever repay that._

_It is actually beautiful here.  I imagine you’d have far more poetic words for it, but I can understand why the soldiers here can get dressed and walk into the cold of winter here.  The cold might take your breath away, but it is nothing on the view.  It makes your own troubles fall away to nothing._

_Yours truly,_

_Edward_

_P.S.  What do you see when you look across the mountains?  Whenever I stand on the wall, it makes me think of all the what ifs in my life.  I don’t have many regrets, but sometimes, the wall makes me wonder if I made the right choices sometimes.  It also apparently makes me melancholy as fuck.  I can’t wait to get back home to Central._

 

 

“I think that covers everything,” Fuhrer Grumman said.  “I expect to see updates by the end of the week.”

Roy Mustang stood and bowed slightly to the Fuhrer.  The man to his right did the same.  General Ackerman was a very precise man, from his immaculate uniform to his perfectly trimmed black hair, to his carefully chosen words.  Roy could appreciate the care, but he didn’t know the man well, for all the years they had both been in Central together.  He wasn’t a Bradley sympathizer but he hadn’t stood up against the former regime either.  Roy could at least say he disliked the man’s neutral state.  From his reputation, he was known to keep his personal rivalries quiet and remained conspicuously silent when it came to controversy. 

“Oh, and General Mustang,” Grumman said as he stood from behind his desk.  “I wanted to offer congratulations on the opening tonight.  Parliament has been most pleased with your work in Ishval and the opening of the exhibit and the Ishvalan Embassy has been quite the topic.  I look forward to seeing the relics and art that the Ishvalan people have sent.”

“I’m honored that you’re attending, Fuhrer Grumman.  It’s been a long time coming, but I think the people of both Amestris and Ishval will be pleased with it.”

“Will you be there as well, General Ackerman?” The Fuhrer asked.

“Of course, Sir.  My wife would kill me if she missed the opening dedication tonight,” Ackerman said with a polite smile. 

Roy turned to leave as Grumman made a dismissing motion with his hand.   Ackerman walked out with him but when they were out of ear reach Ackerman began to speak.    “I have to admit that with all the talk about the Embassy I’m curious.”

The man stopped and Roy was surprised because there was dislike written across Ackerman’s face, as plain as day. 

“Exactly how, General Mustang, does the Hero of Ishval become a spokesman for the people he once massacred?  We all know the art of compromise, where you hold our nose and close your eyes.  People want their leaders to save the day, but they don’t know what you trade away.  So what did you give when no one else was in the room where it happened?” 

Roy was certain his poker face was still in place, but he was surprised by the other man’s outspokenness.  Some people questioned his right to help the Ishvalans rebuild, but his work spoke for itself and Roy knew that the people he worked with all had the best intentions.  They’d worked hard to see the Ishvalan people’s homes rebuilt and their holy places restored.  He’d never had anyone question how he got to be in that position or why.

“We all had wrongs we needed to right, those of us who fought in Ishval.  Some of us more than others.  The Fuhrer understood my need to make amends.”

 “We were all just following orders.  There was nothing wrong with that.”

Roy didn’t bother to comment on that.  There were some people that would hide behind orders and were never bothered by the morality.  Roy had never been that sort.  He’d become good at hiding his distaste though, keeping a calm façade in place, and playing the game he needed to move forward. 

He began to walk as he tried to move the conversation to more useful topics.  “The Fuhrer seems to have a different idea of Amestris’ place in the world.  What do you think of his goals?” Roy didn’t expect an outright answer but it should at least give him an idea of the other man’s ambitions.

“I think a world at peace is a lofty goal.  Your own work in Ishval has shown that we can come a great way towards Fuhrer Grumann’s ideals.  However, I’m not certain trading our place as a global military presence will keep Amestris in the place of power we all want.”

Roy nodded his head.  “I think the Fuhrer hopes that becoming a peace broker will give us a different position of power.  However, I don’t imagine our military presence will be lessened to any degree soon.  As much as the Fuhrer wants peace, I fear that not all our alliances would hold true in face of military decline.  Too many would see a decrease in our military at this time as a weakness and seek to exploit it.  We can hope for a future that will allow us those accords though.”

“Interesting talk from one who is known for his brutality on the battlefield,” Ackerman said and Roy did his best to keep his anger from showing on his face.  “I’m just a general, set in his ways, I’m afraid.  But who knows what the future will hold when the Flame Alchemist speaks of peace?”

The man turned down a hallway then and Roy was grateful to be headed in the other direction.  What little he knew of Ackerman had just turned from neutral to genuine dislike.  It was obvious that Ackerman’s only desire was power for himself.  He hadn’t supported Bradley or Grumman because he had been waiting to see who would rise to the top.  He played politics safe and Roy disliked him for that.  The nature of his attacks against Roy’s reputation just made it personal.

He returned to his office and barely kept the smile off his face as everyone jumped to work; everyone except Hawkeye who wasn’t at her desk. 

“I want all information you can dig up about General Ackerman.”

“Sure thing, Chief,” Havoc chimed in.  “Are we looking for anything specific?”

“Everything.”

 

 

“I look like a damn monkey,” Ed complained bitterly as he threw his hands up in the air, along with the tie he’d been trying to fix. 

“Give that to me, Brother,” Al said with a resigned sigh.  “You don’t look like a monkey.  You look nice, actually.  If you’d just stop messing with your suit.”

“I don’t know why I couldn’t just wear my usual clothes.”

“You’re making a fuss, Brother.  If you didn’t want to get dressed up, why are we going?”

“Winry wanted to go,” Ed said as he found the tie from where it’d slid across the floor when he threw it.  He couldn’t lie very well to Al, but so long as he kept busy and didn’t look him in the eye, he should be able to fake it.  “Mustang sent the invitation to her.  I couldn’t say no.” 

“It doesn’t seem much like her, to take time from her workshop in Resembool and come all the way to Central.”

“You act like I understand her.”

“She is your wife, Brother.”

“I think she just wanted to go shopping in Central City and used this as an excuse to visit,” Ed smiled at Al.  “You gonna help me with this tie or what?”

Al shook his head and Ed smiled brighter.  That smile would probably get the kid anything, just because of how damn happy it made Ed to see it.  He stood still as Al finished his tie and then looked in the mirror.  “Do I look presentable?”

“Wow, Ed,” Winry said as she came into the room.  

The front of her hair was pulled back in an intricate braid while the back fell in long curls.  Her blue strapless dress matched her eyes and she’d really gone all out to dress herself up.  She looked amazing and if he didn’t think she’d knock him upside the head with a wrench for messing up her makeup, he’d kiss her senseless. 

“You look amazing,” he said softly.  She blushed and he felt like a jackass for not saying that sort of thing more often.  Winry had always been his rock.  When he thought of Resembool, it was Winry and Granny he thought of as home.  His life had been lived on the road, and outside of Mustang’s office in Central, the old Rockbell house in Resembool was the only place he thought of as home.  

He still didn’t know why she’d said yes when he proposed, or why she’d said I do when the time came, but he knew he didn’t deserve her.  She deserved someone who could stay by her side, who understood her passion for automail and didn’t just destroy his own set and give her more work to do.  She deserved someone who knew how to tell her how beautiful she was every day.  For some reason she’s settled for him though and he did his best.

“You look pretty good yourself,” she said with a smile.  She came over and straightened his red tie and tucked it under his vest.  “I’m still surprised.  I never thought I’d see you at an event like this, let alone all dressed up for it.”

Ed let her fuss with his clothes, all the while keeping his eyes on her and not looking at his little brother.  “I do know what culture is.”

“Yeah, I just never thought you’d call me and beg me to go to an opening with you.  It was really sweet.”  She kissed his cheek and stepped away.  “I’ll be ready in a moment.  Give me a minute more.”

He watched her go back into his room and sighed.  Maybe he should have rented a hotel room or something while she was in Central City.  It would have been a nice treat for her.  The place he and Al shared in Central City was too small for three, though it was probably still better than the awkwardness that had been the night she came to visit when they were still living with Mustang.  His place was plenty big enough.  Clean enough too.  Their place was all that Ed and Al needed, but it was hardly a place to share with his wife.   She’s already knocked him upside the head for the mess when she arrived the day before.  Next time, he’d remember.

“You begged her to go?” Al said quietly after her heard Ed’s bedroom door close behind Winry. 

“Shut up, Al.”

“What is going on, Brother?  Why did you lie to me?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It is if you lied.”

“Fine, I just wanted to go, alright?  It’s just a stupid opening but it’s important to Mustang and it’ll show people the work he did in Ishval.  It’ll help people see the Ishvalans for who they are, not the demonized version Bradley spat out at people.  Mustang and his team deserve the recognition for the good he’s been doing there.”

Al looked at him for a long minute before he sighed.  “You could have just said so.  You know I was going to go no matter what.”

“Yeah, I know.  I just … I thought it would be fun for the three of us to get a chance to do something fun.  We’re never in the same place anymore.”

Al smiled.  “I guess we’ll just have to make it a good night then.”

Ed smiled as he went to check on his wife and, as always, ignored the questing look in his brother’s eye.

 

 

With most of the pomp and circumstance done, Roy Mustang was able to step away from the platform in the embassy’s main reception room and begin to mingle with the crowd.  He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing server and surveyed the guests.

He’d been accompanied tonight by Gracia Hughes and he caught her eye as she was taking a seat with Hawkeye.  The two seemed to be in deep conversation and when Roy raised a brow, Gracia smiled and waved him on.  She was well practiced in being on a politician’s arm, even if Maes had never actually been a politician.  None of them had risen to the ranks they were without being able to play that game and Maes had always been well versed in it.  Gracia was a blessing tonight, even if his only intention to bring her along was to honor the work she and her late husband had done.

Knowing that she was in good hands, he continued to peruse the room, making mental notes about those he needed to speak with tonight and those to avoid.  He would have to be seen speaking congenially with the Fuhrer at some point in the evening, to cement his place in the public’s eye as a man in Grumman’s good graces.  There were a few members of Parliament that he would like a moment with, a few he needed to seek out just for appearances.  Most of the people he would seek out tonight though would be to spread feelings and confirm rumors that had been passing back his way. 

He had every intention of avoiding Ackerman if possible so he wouldn’t ruin his evening completely.  The Grand Cleric of Ishvala was there as well and Roy wanted to get a few moments of his time to make certain he’d enjoyed the event. 

He spotted the head of Parliament coming his way and he put on his most polished smile and went to meet the man and his wife.

Roy Mustang was a soldier of Amestris, and this was just one more battlefield among the many in which he was skilled.

 

 

It was two hours later before he was able to approach his favorite and most elusive target of the night.  He had seen them earlier, been momentarily stupefied by their presence, but had yet to speak to them.  He left Gracia once again as she spoke to one of Hughes’ men and made his way across the room.

Winry Rockbell-Elric was a vision in pale blue silk and golden tresses.  Her hair was perfectly coiffed but with the vibrant feeling of youth.  As the wife of the youngest – and arguably still the most notable – alchemist in the history of Amestris, she had been danced and regaled with stories all night long, regardless of where her husband was at the moment.  Winry had a sweet, polite personality, but there was a steel underneath that Roy knew fit well with her husband’s.  It would take a steel will to keep him in line. 

At the moment, by her side was the man himself.  Edward Elric looked resplendent in a black suit with a red waist coat and tie.  His hair was pulled back in a ponytail as had become his signature since he grew out of the braid.  He was always beautiful – at peace or in battle – but tonight he looked breathtaking and Roy had almost lost his façade of nonchalance towards the young man when he’d spied him for the first time earlier that evening.

Roy took another glass of champagne from a passing server and smiled as he came up to the couple.  “Mrs. Rockbell-Elric,” he said as he offered his hand up to her.  “You are a vision.”  She placed her hand in his and he bowed over it slightly before he kissed the back of her hand.  She blushed beautifully and, with the exception of the man on her arm, Roy conceded she was the most beautiful person in the room.

“Thank you, General Mustang.”

“Roy, please. We speak far too often on the phone for me to be General face to face.”  He doubted Ed knew half the times she called him to check in on her husband and brother-in-law but Roy had come to enjoy the quiet moments where he was allowed to lightly tease back and forth with her and keep himself up to date on the comings and goings of Resembool.    

“You know you love to hear the title, Mustang.  Don’t act like you don’t,” Ed said as he took Winry’s hand in his own. 

Roy smiled at the possessive move but knew it wasn’t an actual jab.  “I have been caught red handed.  You are looking quite nice as well, Fullmetal.  I’m surprised you made it tonight.  I know events like this aren’t really your thing.”

“You asked me to come.”

The answer surprised him, but luckily self-preservation saved him and his mouth kicked in.  “So if I had asked instead of giving orders all these years, my life would have been easier?”

“Hell, no,” Ed said with a grin.  “But I don’t think Winry or Al would have let me stay home, so thank them.”

“Oh, I just saw Gracia,” Winry said with a pat to Ed’s arm.  “You don’t mind keeping my husband company while I catch up, do you, General?”

“Roy,” he insisted again.  “Gracia is my date for the evening.  I’m sure she would appreciate you saving her from my company for a while.”

Winry laughed as she walked off without a look back.

They both watched her go and Ed let out a soft sigh, as if in relief.  What was bothering him tonight?  “Can I speak with you for a few minutes, Fullmetal?” Mustang asked. 

“Sure.  Just so long as I can come back in and get more free food.”

Roy didn’t answer, but led Edward away from the crowd.  On the one wall of the reception area was a series of small balconies.  They were made for private conversation at events just like this and Roy was grateful enough for them now. 

He watched as Edward went through the doors to the secluded balcony and closed the door behind them.  The door had a large glass pane and Roy watched the party for a moment to make sure no one of interest had paid them any undue attention. 

Although each balcony was set apart from the next to give privacy and was bordered with flowers, music from the party spilled out through the other open doorways.  If he were here on a date, he’d have called the whole thing very romantic. 

“So what’s up, Bastard?”

Roy shook his head as he turned away from the doors.  Edward was facing away from the party, overlooking the gardens.  He had both hands braced on the balcony wall as his eyes took in their surroundings.  Roy wanted to ask if he was looking at the beauty of the embassy grounds, or keeping an eye out for danger.  He had a feeling the answer was both.

It made him think of Ed’s question about mountains in his last letter.

“I wanted to thank you for coming out tonight.  I know you don’t enjoy getting dressed up and having to deal with the politics.  It means a lot to me and it would have meant a lot to Maes as well.”

“Whatever.  You asked and I wasn’t going to say no.  Besides, Winry wanted to come up to Central City and it was as good an excuse as any.  And Al hasn’t walked away from the food yet.  Last I saw, he and Havoc were hatching a plan to see if they could eat faster than the staff could restock the buffet.”

Roy let out a small laugh at that.  Ever since Alphonse Elric had gotten his body back his appetite was even worse than his brother’s.   “Glad to know we could get Al fed for the night.  If he’s still eating as much as he did when you lived with me, I imagine his grocery bill is worse than the university tuition.”

“Just about,” Edward said with a smile.   

Roy hoped the smile was, in part, a fondness for that time.  It had only been a month while Ed and Al looked for their own place in Central but it had been a time Roy looked back on warmly.  Something had shifted back then, in his relationship with Ed and even though he still couldn’t say how.  He knew he was probably as close to Ed as anyone these days.  Roy moved over to Edwards’s side and leaned back against the balcony wall.  He was still watching the party, but he knew Edward had his back. 

“I thought I saw Elysia during the ceremony but I haven’t seen her since,” Ed commented.

“Alex asked if she would be his date tonight.  Last I heard, he was taking her on an Armstrong tour of the embassy and grounds.”

“Please tell me he still had his shirt on?”

“Last I saw.  Elysia was very excited.  Alex picked her up and took her to dinner before bringing her to the dedication.”

“He’s a good guy.  That was a really nice thing he did.”

“Yeah it was.  He worked with Maes a long time too.”

“All of this is good.  The work you’ve done in Ishval is good.  I’m sure Gracia was thrilled with the dedication tonight.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do anything without the Hughes family support.  Maes might not be here, but this is all his doing.  Hell, I wouldn’t have made it out of Ishval without him.” 

“Don’t do that,” Roy felt Edward move closer as he spoke but when he turned to move away, Edward’s hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Don’t put down your own efforts.  You’ve worked hard to make this happen.  You’re a lazy Bastard most of the time and you know I’m not afraid to say it, but you made this happen.  Hughes believed in the good you could do.   Don’t you dare stop when you’ve finally started to achieve something here.”

Roy stared down at his arm where Edward had hold of him.  He pulled his hand back slowly, turning it over as he did so.  Edward didn’t stop him, didn’t pull away either when Roy stopped with his palm up so that Edward’s fingers rested in it.

“I have no intention of stopping,” he said, his voice quiet as he felt Edward’s finger move slowly, stroking back and forth across his palm.  His fingers dragged softly, skin against skin.  Edward felt warm, soft against his open hand.  It was the smallest of things, the simplest of touches, but it made his heart beat faster than any lover’s touch had in years. 

Something was different tonight, something that he’d felt before but shied away from as quickly as he could.  Tonight, he wasn’t sure how to.

“When will Mrs. Rockbell-Elric be heading back to Resembool?” he asked instead.

“Day after tomorrow.  Al and I promised her that we’d take her shopping tomorrow.”

“Will you need a few days off to take her back to Resembool?”

“Nah.  Winry can make the trip on her own.”

“You are allowed to take time off to see your wife back home safely, Fullmetal.” 

“Have you met my wife?” He scoffed.  “She’ll have new tools.  No one will be safe until she’s thumped someone with them.  Might as well be someone other than me.”

“You really think you’ll make it a full day?” Roy teased.

Edward laughed again.  “Probably not.  You trying to get rid of me for a few days?  Or are things that boring at the office that you don’t have anything for me?”

“I have something for you.  If you want to take your wife home though I could send it to someone else.  I appreciate that she came all the way to Central for tonight.  I’m sure Gracia and Elysia are thrilled to have her here as well.”

“Yeah, she’s good like that.  Everyone loves Winry.” 

Edward’s fingers pulled back across Roy’s wrist and he nearly shivered at the feel of it. 

“Exactly,” he wasn’t sure what he was doing but he turned so that he was standing with his body between Edward and the doors to the party.  Edward had moved as well, his back now against the balcony wall, his hand still lying in Roy’s.  He didn’t know what this was, but he didn’t know how to break it.  “So if you want to take your wife home, I will give the mission to someone else.”

“You do your job, Bastard and I’ll do mine.  And stop worrying about my wife so much!”

Roy smiled.  “She is rather lovely, Fullmetal.  I would hardly be the only man here tonight to notice her.”

Edward looked past Roy’s shoulder to the doors of the party.   His eyes seemed to soften for a second then something darker filled them as Roy watched.  “I don’t deserve her,” he said softly.  There was something guilty in his voice, something wretched in it.

Edward’s fingers still moved slowly over his palm until he’d gently nudged Roy’s hand to a vertical position.  His own fingers trailed down Roy’s fingertips and traced between them.  The light brush was maddening and Ed stilled his movements as their fingers were almost clasped.  The tone of Edward’s voice, the regret in it, gave Roy the will to pull his hand away. 

“We should go back inside.”

Edward looked up at him.  “Wasn’t there some reason you called me out here?”

“Maybe I just needed a peaceful break before I returned to the politicking?”

“And you thought I would give you peace?”  

Roy let out a bark of laughter at that.  “Maybe not,” he agreed.  He hadn’t really had anything in mind, except the need to check on Fullmetal.  He didn’t know that what had happened on the balcony made him feel any better about the situation though, no matter how the stolen moments felt. 

“Problems?” Ed asked.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Roy answered back, more instinct than anything else.  

“Anyone to keep an eye on?”

He thought of what to say to keep Ed from realizing that Roy’s problem was Fullmetal himself and this maddening relationship.  Luckily, there was something to keep an eye on.  The man had been perfectly polite all evening, but Mustang didn’t trust him.  And he didn’t like the way the man had been looking at Edward earlier.  “Ackerman,” Mustang said. 

Ed nodded.  He knew Mustang’s thoughts on the man.  Ackerman liked the military control of Amestris and he liked the power it gave him.    Ed might dislike a man who hadn’t spoken out against Bradley but he might believe he was unaware.  The fact that the man wasn’t on Roy’s side though, pissed Ed off.  Ed was loyal to a fault sometimes. 

“I’ll keep an ear out.”

“Just be careful, Edward.”

Ed’s eyes widened because Mustang rarely used his full name.  “Of course.”

“I should let you return to your wife.”

“Too bad we can’t run away,” Ed said with a half-smile.

“Excuse me?” Roy was taken aback at the words and that made Ed smile even more.  Ed rarely caught him by surprise. 

“Get rid of the monkey suits and find a bar instead of being paraded in front of everyone here tonight,” Ed said.  “Seems like a lot more fun to me.”

Roy let out soft laugh, and couldn’t help himself.  Whatever had been happening earlier had left him a little on edge and he spoke before he could think better of it.  “I’m sure if you showed up without a monkey suit at a bar it would cause quite a scene.  I doubt you brought a change of clothes.   I might enjoy the change of view though,” Mustang said before he turned and walked away, opening the door and heading back to the party.

 

 

Ed sputtered for a few minutes at the double meaning of the General’s words.  For all the flirting the General did, he rarely caught Ed out.  Of course, he wasn’t usually so overt with Ed, either. 

Ed was so damn weak.  He had no excuse for the way he’d touched Mustang, unable to help himself.  He’d watched him as he danced across the reception from one person to the next all night long, beautiful and in his element, so confident and yet, there had been a moment when their eyes had met when he’d first arrived that Ed had felt completely naked. 

“Ed?”

He looked up to see his brother as he stepped out to the balcony.  “Hey Al, you having a good time?” he asked to cover his embarrassment.

“Oh, yes.  Elysia arrived and she was asking for you.  Is everything okay?  I saw you and the General talking.”

“He just wanted to tell me he had a mission for me.”

“Oh no.  You’re not leaving tomorrow are you?”

“No.  We’ll take Winry shopping tomorrow, but I’ll have to go to the office after she catches the train.”

“I thought you were going to take a few days to get her to Resembool?”

Man, his brother could criticize with just the tone of his voice.  Of course, it didn’t help that Ed felt guilty about his duplicity, but the less time he spent in Resembool the better.  “Yeah, I was, but you know how it is with the military.”

“After everything, you’d think Mustang would give you a little slack.”

“He’s under a lot of pressure, Al.  Just give _him_ a little slack.  Besides, we’ll go shopping and Winry will be so excited over whatever tools she bought she won’t notice I’m not there anyway.”

“If you say so Brother.  But when you get hit in the head with one of her new toys, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Ed just laughed.  “Come on, let’s go save Elysia before Armstrong teaches her any bad habits.”

“Well, at least he’s kept his shirt on.”

“Small victories, right?” he said with a grin.  And if his eyes met Mustang’s as he entered the room and his face flushed slightly, Ed blamed it on the cool night air and the champagne.

 

 

Overthrowing a corrupt government, complete with immortal god-like creatures and homunculi, had been easy compared to creating a new government and keeping it from following its predecessor into the murky depths of compromise and corruption. 

Well, from Ed’s point of view it seemed that way.  When Ed had shared that idea at the office, Mustang had let out a snort of a laugh and simply said, “Winning is easy, young man.  Governing’s harder.”

He settled his forehead against the glass window as he watched the scenery run by the train without really seeing it.  He had one knee tucked up while his automail leg was stretched out straight in front of him.  He let out a deep breath and tried to get rid of the anger that had followed him like a cloud since he’d left South Helston.  Just a tiny little town, a couple hours walk from the nearest train station, but home to an escaped criminal who happened to be a rogue alchemist.  The self-proclaimed Merciful Alchemist had escaped from prison when he’d been transferring to another location.  He’d been caught, but Ed still felt the aches and pains of the fight.  Winry was going to kill him for the damage to his arm, but at least it was a minor repair and not a complete rebuild.  He didn’t want to take the time to stay in Resembool for the few days that would take. 

Of course, Winry was going to kill him for taking off as soon as he got fixed anyway.    

He realized he was clenching the letter in his hand and immediately felt guilty.  He smoothed it out against his bent knee.  It wasn’t the letter’s fault he was in such a foul mood.  Hell, it wasn’t even the man who had written the letter, as miraculous as that thought might have once been.  No, it was all on him.  It was his guilt.  His regret. 

He opened the letter and read it again, though he’d already memorized it in the two days since he’d received it.  There was a careful, considered feel to the words that made Ed worry.  Their letters were always a little different than their face to face interactions – letters seemed to invoke a more thoughtful, honest conversation between them than the in person bantering they usually enjoyed – but this was different.  As much as he worried over the careful phrasing though, he was still elated to have the words. 

_1926_

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_I hope this letter finds you well.  By the time you get back to Central, I’ll be part of a convoy headed to Xing.  My work with the Ishvalan people and the delicate negotiations seem to have endeared me to Fuhrer Grumman and he asked for me to take command of the delegation myself.   I look forward to meeting the challenge of these new talks._

_I am hoping I will get the chance to meet up with a friend of yours away from the formality of the courts.  As you know, I have received some positive correspondence from him in the past few years as we settled the affairs of the Bradley administration.  He made certain promises that could be of immense support in my further endeavors and I believe a face to face meeting may finally seal our future._

_Of course, I had hoped that you would return in time to make the journey with me.  Your familiarity with the Emperor, as volatile as your relationship has always been, would have been helpful.  Your presence would have kept me on my toes at least. Though the friend we spoke of at the party is here as well and if things get dull, I may be able to spend some time to gain some understanding of him._

_I hope your latest adventures were successful and that you remain unharmed.  I’m sure your wife will keep you in line and make certain that you don’t run off when you are still injured, but please remember to use caution, and take care.  I would hate to return from Xing to find your wife has finally murdered you for destroying her fine work, or your brother has locked you in a room to keep you from harm._

_I must end here.  Hawkeye keeps tapping her gun hilt as I write this and I fear I’m about to make us late for our train.  Take care, Edward.  I look forward to your next correspondence and hearing that you are well._

_Sincerely,_

_General Roy Mustang_

Ed snorted.  Like he didn’t know Mustang’s full title and how he got it.  He hated that he’d been caught so long in South Helston that he’d missed the chance to go to Xing though.  It would be nice to see Ling, see what sort of emperor he’d become, and see what sort of marks had been left behind by Greed when he’d sacrificed himself. 

He could always try to catch up with the delegation on the way.  As a small party, Ed was likely to travel quicker than a delegation was.  Even if he didn’t meet up with the group on the way, Ling would still welcome him there, even if he wasn’t a part of the official Amestrian party.  Winry would probably take it better than him running off to Central City to get his next mission. 

Ed would certainly much rather be with Mustang in Xing.  In Xing, they’d have more freedom.  Since the Promised Day, Central Command had turned into a landmine.  Everyone was watching everyone else, looking for the next Bradley - or Mustang - depending on where they stood on the ideas of government.  In Xing, they’d have more space to relax.  Mustang needed it.  He, above all of them, had been set under an eyeglass, history’s eyes watching to see what role to paint him into.   

He let out another deep breath and carefully folded the letter and slipped it into the inner pocket of his jacket.  He looked back out the window again before he closed his eyes.  Xing was a bad idea.  He wanted to go there far more than he wanted to go to Central, but the real reason he wanted to be in Xing was the reason he couldn’t go. 

Instead, he’d head home to Resembool, spend a few days with his wife and see Granny, then head back to Central to check on his brother at the University.  He’d go to the office where Breda would be in charge with the others gone and see what he had lined up for him next.   If he called from the train station, Breda just might have something in line already and he could speed his trip up.

He gritted his teeth together and felt his hands balled up again, against his will.  He fucking loved his wife, okay?  He wanted to spend time with her, but he could never escape the guilt that came every time they touched, every night as he lay beside her in their bed.  Because every night, Ed feel asleep wondering.

What if...

 

          

Winry was busy with a customer when Ed arrived so he had a reunion with Granny as he waited for her to finish up.  There wasn’t much to do in Resembool but their sleepy little town had started to grow.  Ed knew Winry was responsible for it.  She was becoming a name in automail and people came from far and wide to be seen by her.  A new Inn had opened up close to the train station and a couple restaurants had popped up. 

Once she had finished with her customer, Ed surprised her and whisked her off to the new Cretan place that Granny said she’d come to love. 

Dinner was nice and she hadn’t even threatened him with a wrench at the damage to his arm.  Of course, it was mostly superficial but that had never stopped her before.  Maybe she’d mellowed in the last few years and he hadn’t noticed?  Or maybe she was just waiting to let him have it later.

After they got home, she’d pulled him into her workroom and fixed his arm before he’d followed her back up to their bedroom. 

It didn’t happen until much later.  After he’d made love to her, she curled up against his side, her hand pressed to his heart and her head on his shoulder, and whispered softly into his neck.  “It’s been a long time, Ed.  Six months.  I know… I know how important your work is.  I just … wish you could come home more often.  I wish I had as much of your attention as he does.”

“What?” he sat up, staring down at her.

“Nothing.  Forget it.  Just …. Let’s get some sleep.”

“Winry-”

“It was stupid.  I just get lonely sometimes.  I always thought that once you got Al back, we’d have the chance to be happy together.  When we got married, I thought you’d start to settle down more.  I … I know they need you, Ed.  I don’t want you to stop what you’re doing, I just wish what you were doing brought you home more often.”

He took a deep breath and when Winry pulled at him, he let her drag him back down so she could rest her head on him again.  He didn’t know how to answer what she’d said and if she was willing to let him off that easy, he’d take it.

“When do you have to leave?” she asked into the silence between them.

He let out a deep breath.  “Day after tomorrow.  Breda has something for me.”

“Breda?  Not the General?”

“The General is headed to Xing on a diplomatic mission.”

“Oh.”  She pulled a little closer to him and he looked down and pushed a stray piece of hair from her face.  “Promise to call, okay?  When you get a chance.  A letter now and then wouldn’t be remiss either, even if I can barely make out your chicken scratch.”

“I’ll call more often,” he said softly as he pressed a kiss to her temple. 

She sighed, content for the moment, and Ed could hear the sound of sleep in it as he felt her body relax against him completely.

He could call more often.  He could pick up the damn phone when he was on the road and try to let her into his traveling life more.

The problem wasn’t his life though, it wasn’t talking to her, or holding her close like this.

It was his damn nomadic heart, who had found its home on the road in the shape of paper and ink and words on the page that meant more to him than any other. 

 

Another train and Ed stared at the letter, rereading it before he tucked it into an envelope to send it off once he arrived at the next station.  He’d reread it three times already to make sure he was saying what he needed to but with the same caution that Mustang had used in his previous letter.  Mustang’s letter had been cautious enough to tip him off, but then they’d found bugs in the office again and everyone was on high alert. 

It was hard enough to write Mustang but this was torture.  There were things he was afraid to say too openly.  There was so much more to the man’s ambitions than what he was doing now, and even with the change in regime, it was possible that someone might look at Mustang’s mail.   He was afraid to mention too much about Ling in case someone tried to stop Mustang from meeting with the Emperor in private.  Mustang would do his duty to the diplomatic mission he was there for, but his personal meeting was more about getting the Xing Emperor’s support in his bid to become Fuhrer. 

He thought about starting the letter over again and taking out mention of his wife, but there wasn’t really a reason, was there?  Winry wasn’t some secret and Ed wasn’t having an affair.  It just felt awkward sometimes to speak to Winry or Mustang about the other. 

Maybe it was just a way to assuage his guilt.  He had yet to find a way to write a letter to Winry.  Writing about her to Mustang was the least he could do.  He had kept his promise to call her more often and it was feeling less stinted. 

Al thought it was a good thing.  Of course, he thought Ed should take some time off to stay in Resembool for a while.  A break, he’d called it, but Ed could see the concern when he’d stopped by to see Al between classes yesterday.  He knew that Al talked to Winry way more often than Ed did.  Hell, so did Mustang.  It was wrong, he knew that, but he was getting better.  He was trying.  Winry deserved better than him and he was trying to be worthy of her.

Maybe he _would_ take some time after he finished in the north.  He’d have to stop and change out his automail anyway.  It was a long overdue break, as Al had pointed out.

With his mind made up, Ed turned his eyes back to the scenery and tried not to think about the train changes he’d have to make if he changed his mind and decided to go to Xing.

 

_1926_

_General Bastard,_

_How is Xing?  I heard the Emperor greeted you a bit too familiarly for the court’s approval.  That sounds just like Ling to put you on the hot seat as soon as you show up and watch you squirm.  Sounds like another Bastard I know.  Hopefully my friend was able to meet you in a less public forum.  I know you have high hopes for that meeting.  I do as well.  It’s probably better than I wasn’t able to join you.  My friend is annoying as hell and we’d probably end up in a shouting match anyway._

_South Helston took longer than I had hoped.  The damn alchemist had some hired thugs who kept me busy.  Don’t worry.  There wasn’t too much damage and I fixed what I broke._

_Resembool is growing a little.  Winry and I ate at a new Cretan place while I was home.  It’s not as good as that place down the street from HQ but it was pretty damn good.  Winry’s busy with her workshop.  It’s good that she’s got that to keep her busy since I’m gone so much.  She’s got Granny and Paninya has been coming to visit from Rush Valley.   I think Winry is going to take her on as an apprentice.   I worry about being gone so much and leaving her alone so it’ll be good for her to have someone._

_Try not to make Hawkeye’s job too hard while you’re gone.  Remember she’s trying to keep you safe.  No matter how much you think you can take care of yourself, you know you’d have died a long time ago if she wasn’t there._

_I’m heading north on a mission that came through from Armstrong.  General Armstrong won’t be happy that her brother sent me up there but I don’t think she’s truly happy unless she’s actively killing something.  Winry wasn’t happy to change my automail out again since she’d just fixed my regular arm but I think she was angrier that I was leaving as soon as she was done.  She always wants to baby me for a day or two after she has to reconnect everything but I had a train to catch._

_When will you be done in Xing?  Will this be an extended trip or will the diplomatic party be coming home as soon as the politics are done?  Not that I care.  Breda just doesn’t have the same flair when he gives me missions.  At least Alex came to give me this one.  He could have kept his shirt on though._

_With those words, I’ll leave you to get some work done.  I’m sure you’ve procrastinated enough.  The image of a shirtless Armstrong should at least motivate you, just so he doesn’t show up to give you the (shirtless) Armstong Family Motivational Speech._

_Looking forward to hearing how your meetings have gone and if you were able to accomplish everything you wished,_

_The Fullmetal Alchemist_

_P.S.  Formal Bastard.  Why can’t you just sign your name?_

 

 

Roy smiled as he ran his fingers over the bold lettering of Fullmetal’s handwriting.  He’d been in Xing for six weeks and the letter was one of the few comforts he had with him that helped alleviate the stress of each day.  Of course, there was alcohol but Roy had learned that Ling liked to pop in whenever he could get away from the Court, and as Emperor he was also prone to call for official meetings without warning. 

Roy was certain he did it to try to catch the envoy at a disadvantage but it meant he couldn’t relax too much. 

His fellow diplomats were just as bad.  General Ackerman had not been pleased to be on the mission once Grumman had made it clear that Roy had command.  Ackerman had been a general longer than Roy, but the fact that Roy and his team had worked with Ling on the Promised Day gave him the edge.  To Roy’s surprise, Ackerman made no secret of his distaste of the Flame Alchemist – of Alchemists in general – on this trip and Roy felt no need to try to endear the man to him.  He was a rival, someone on the way out as soon as Roy could find his weakness. 

“General, you look tired,” he heard from behind him.

He looked over his shoulder to see Ling enter his rooms.  He wasn’t dressed in formal attire, which meant it was another night of slipping out when no one had been watching.  Except Lan Fan, who trailed like a shadow behind him on the balcony.

“Your Imperial Majesty,” he started to say but Ling waved the title away. 

“Old friend would do nicely for tonight,” Ling said as he moved towards the bottles that Roy had been so actively trying to avoid.  Ling poured two glasses of brandy and handed one to Roy.  “As much as I appreciate the distance in Court, it’s good to have a friend.”

“I suppose an Emperor doesn’t have many of those.”

“Spoken like a man who understands what it would take to be Fuhrer.”

Roy tilted his glass to Ling and they both drank. 

“How is Amestris?  I hope the Elric brothers are behaving themselves?  Mei Chan has asked of them often.”

“Alphonse is studying at the university in Central City.  He would have graduated years ago, except he keeps taking time off when he gets too caught up in his other research.  He’s quite brilliant and the school allows him his … eccentricities ... because of it.  He tends to show up at the office quite frequently when his brother is traveling.  I think he needs someone to look after.”

“It must be hard with Ed living in Resembool, I would think.”

Roy sipped his brandy before answering.  “Ed is rarely in Resembool.  I keep trying to get him to take time off but he’s always jumping into the next problem.”

“A man driven may soon crash without a clear destination,” Ling offered.

“I don’t know,” Roy answered honestly.  “He seems fine when he’s in Central between missions, but as soon as I suggest Resembool he clams up.”

“Maybe it is another need that drives him, then.”

“I don’t know if I’m not drunk enough for this conversation or too awake for it,” Mustang admitted.

Ling laughed.  “Greed and I both became very fond of Edward in our time with him.  He has a strong heart and a whip crack mind.  He is determined and very loyal.  Sometimes to a fault.”

“I’m aware of his good traits, Ling, just as I’m aware of his less than stellar ones.”

“Such as?”

“His temper, his inability to stop destroying public property, his disregard for military orders and protocol, and his inability to stop throwing himself into harm’s way all the damn time.”

“And the fact that he’s married?”

Roy looked at Ling and shook his head.  “That is a circumstance, not a trait.”

“But not something you look upon favorably, certainly.”

“Quite the contrary.  I was very happy when I learned that Ed and Winry were to be wed.”

“The fact that you reread his letters so much makes me wonder how true those words are, Mustang.”

Roy let out a soft snort.  Of course Ling paid too much attention to the things Roy thought no one else would notice.  “How long were you watching me before you let me know you were here?”

“Not long, but enough to know you treasure those letters far more than a man who has no interest.”

“Whatever interest I have makes no matter.  Fullmetal is married to a lovely young lady.  He deserves to be happy with someone like her.”

“What about you?”

“I gave up any right to a happy personal life when I set myself on this path.  I’m sure you can understand.”

“From one man who wants what he can’t have to another, I assuredly do.”

It wasn’t what Roy wanted to hear but he realized Ling understood only too well.  Their reasons for separation might be different, but those were just details. 

“Shall we discuss something less likely to make me cry into my drink tonight?” Roy said with a smile at the Emperor of Xing.

Ling laughed and Roy was glad that over the course of the last 6 weeks their long distance correspondence had turned into an easy friendship in private.

“Now, tell me what you really need to make it possible to build train tracks from Xing to Amestris.  I will still have to ask for the outrageous at Court and we’ll have to spend a few days fighting over it, but I think we can avoid weeks of bickering.  I doubt you wish to be away from Central much longer.”

“Home is where the heart is,” Roy said without thought.

“And where is your heart, right now?”

Roy shook his head, dismayed that he’d brought it back to that again.  “Hell if I know at the moment.  Halfway to freezing, I’d guess.”

Ling smiled. “Alright.  Also, how can I scare away that General Ackerman?  I don’t like the way he looks at Mei Chan.  His sneer is distasteful, especially to someone so dear to me.”

“Well… I have some ideas….”

 

 

_1926_

 

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_Your friend is a devious man and I am afraid I have grown genuinely fond of him.  He has a penchant for showing up in my rooms when no one is the wiser and speaking his mind.  His forthrightness when we are alone is rather refreshing.  It reminds me of a brat I know, though he is far more respectful._

_In good news, the friend we spoke of at the party is no longer a concern here.  The Emperor was not happy with his performance and demanded he leave at once.  It’s made the discussion with the Xingese court much more relaxed.  I had thought his sneers about alchemy and alchehestry had been for my benefit alone but he had been voicing his opinion in front of others.  His words were affecting the conversation more than I realized._

_I will do my best to keep motivated.  I certainly don’t need any motivational speeches.  However, the Xing countryside is rather lovely and I may extend the trip a few days to see some of it with the Emperor.  He has extended the invitation and it would be remiss of me to say no to an official invitation when we are so close to signing a treaty._

_It sounds like Resembool is indeed benefiting from your beautiful wife’s residency.  She had mentioned some of the shops but I have not yet been able to stop to see them myself.  I can’t imagine Resembool as a thriving city again.  It will always be a small sleepy town, where I once found two extraordinary alchemists._

_Speaking of which, I received a letter from Alphonse today.  It was quite the surprise, but he needed a recommendation for a research grant.  I will, of course, endorse him with whatever means I have and will send the letter on as soon as I have it completed.  In the meantime, please assure him, I will pull whatever strings I can to see his research funded.  The premise of combining alchemy and alchehestry is a promising one and I applaud the efforts of taking alchemy away from its military applications and spreading it to other areas of focus.  If he needs anything, I trust you will let me know._

_I’m sure the office must be quite dull without me there.  No Havoc to tell fables of his manly prowess.  No Hawkeye to threaten you at gunpoint to finish your work.  I don’t imagine too much is getting done.  I hope Breda is at least becoming a better gambler in my absence.  As good as he is at his job, his poker face was always terrible._

_And I’m sorry if my formality upset you.  I will endeavor to be less formal.  Perhaps it will convince you to stop writing all your actual reports to General Bastard.  I won’t hold my breath, but a man can dream._

_Speaking of which, after a late night visit from your friend, I am in desperate need of sleep.  The court will call all too early I’m sure and I need to be prepared._

_Your friend asked where you were tonight and I told him I had no idea.  I hope wherever you are, whatever you are tracking down, you are taking care of yourself._

_Yours truly,_

_Roy Mustang_

_P.S. Is that still too formal, Brat?_

_P.S.S. I found something in a stall in the main market last week and it made me think of you.  I have enclosed it with this letter.  I hope you like it._

 

Ed sat in the middle of the small stream on a giant rock, paper in hand and a dour expression on his face.  The year had been light on rain and the usually strong current in the stream was barely more than a trickle.  Ed could see the watermarks that showed how far up the water came up to most years.  There was talk of a turn in the weather and everyone was watching the skies, hopeful for more rain to fill their streams and keep their fields green.

Ed was so damn tired of the small talk around Resembool.  The weather, the crops, the herds.  Some comments about the new amenities cropping up close to the train station.  That was it, besides the busy bodies who put their noses in everyone else’s business.  Like where Ed Elric spent most of his time when he wasn’t with his wife.

He was frustrated with it all and he’d hoped answering Mustang’s last letter would help him settle his thoughts before he tried to return home to Winry.  God only knew why she put up with him as it was.  She didn’t deserve the brunt of his temper over someone else’s speculation.   Especially when that latest someone was a tanner who had taken an obvious interested in his wife.  He had no doubt about Winry’s fidelity.  He hated that anyone would dare question his.

He hated that he questioned it.  He would never cheat on his wife but his heart was a lying bastard.  Ed would never act on anything, would never do anything to hurt Winry, but the truth was the same nonetheless.

In his hand he held a small charm that had been in his last letter from Mustang.  He was terrified he was going to lose it.  It wasn’t anything special, he suspected, just a little something the man picked up from a stall along the way somewhere.  But he’d sent it back to Ed and that meant something. 

When everyone around him seemed to be intent on reminded Ed of what a shit person he was, Mustang had found a way to make him feel cared for.  He wasn’t even there to know Ed had been struggling lately, but he still managed it. 

He turned it over and looked at it.  Just a bit of enamel work.  It was a serpent, like the one on the flamel symbol he used to wear on his jacket, but instead of circling the cross, this one was wrapped around a flame.  It was beautiful work, with the flame dancing in reds and oranges and the serpent in deep gold.  To Ed, it looked like the serpent had settled into the warmth of the flame, both to be cared for and to protect it at once.

He thought of a necklace like Winry wore, but Ed was in far too many fights to trust it to that.  Ed didn’t keep many things for exactly that reason.  He moved around too much and he was always afraid of losing things if he did get attached to them.  He could leave it at his apartment in Central but just having it with him made him feel like Mustang was there.  He brought his hand up and scratched at the edge of skin that pressed against the metal of his chest plate where his automail was attached.  The thought hit him then and he knew exactly what to do.

He let the array rest in his mind, certain that it would do what he wanted, then he clapped his hands.  He took the charm and pressed it against the metal chest plate and felt the moment the alchemy melded them together.  When he was done, the enamel charm was a part of his automail.  He ran his flesh hand over it and he could feel the slight ridges of the charm and he smiled.

Now, he had a letter to write.  He spread the paper out over the rock and leaned over to start writing but was startled upright by a splash and the small spatter of droplets on the paper.

“Hey!  What the hell!”

He looked up to see Paninya at the edge of the stream with another rock in hand.

“Cut that out!  I’m trying to write the General!”

“I didn’t do anything!”

Ed had no patience for Paninya.  It started with the way she’d stolen his pocket watch when they met in Rush Valley and it had just grown from there.  Since she’d become Winry’s apprentice, Paninya had gone from passively annoying Ed to actively disliking him.  She was overprotective of Winry and Ed hated that she stuck her nose into their relationship, no matter how good her intentions towards Winry were.

“You got my paper wet!”

“Maybe you should try writing someplace normal, or did you have to use a rock because you couldn’t reach the desk!”

“Maybe you had to use a rock because you can’t catch me on those second rate legs of yours!”

They were her own design and she’d been wearing them when she got to Resembool.  Winry was helping to redesign them so that she could make her own, better designs, but she was a long way to go before she was a Winry’s level.

“You… go drown yourself Elric!” 

She threw the rock in her hand with her automail arm so hard that it was sure to splash.  Ed pulled his paper up and barely had it out of the way in time.  “You’re such a brat!” he yelled at her retreating back. 

 

Winry handed the tea cup to the general and smiled, hoping that Ed would get home soon.  The man across from her smiled back and Winry couldn’t help but feel there was nothing friendly behind that flash of teeth.  It wasn’t like the charming smiles that General Mustang gave her.  This was the sort that reminded her of a snake, cold blooded, and waiting for the right moment to bite.  The general had black hair and brown eyes that sat behind stylish glasses.  His facial structure reminded Winry of Maes Hughes a little, but all resemblance ended there.  There was nothing warm about this man, nothing open and caring.  From his introduction to this moment, he wasn’t a man she felt comfortable around.     

“I don’t think my husband has ever mentioned working for your office, General Ackerman,” she said as she picked up her own cup of tea and sipped from it. 

“I haven’t had the chance to work with the Fullmetal Alchemist, but I’ve heard nothing but glowing reviews from a mutual friend.” 

“About Ed?” she asked dubiously.  She felt her face blush then, but anyone that knew Ed knew his temper and his penchant for destruction.  “I mean, he’d love to hear that.”

“Of course.  General Mustang has known your husband for some time.  I admit their relationship isn’t always … well … appropriate, but I suppose that’s what happens when you bring a 12 year old into the military.”

“I don’t know what you mean, General.”  There were a lot of things that could be said about Ed and the General but she hoped the man wasn’t poking at the real reason General Mustang had asked Ed to join.

“Of course not.  The two just seem very close. “

She nodded.  “General Mustang is an honorable man.  His entire team is close.  In fact, they come to visit me whenever they’re travelling through Resembool.”

“As I was informed.  Which was why General Mustang asked me to check on you myself, since his trip to Xing would be a while longer.”

“It was kind of him to ask, and kind of you to come.  If you had called ahead I’m sure Ed would have enjoyed greeting you himself.  I must be a poor substitute.”  Damn Ed, for being out.  She had no idea where he’d gone today _._ A walk to stretch his legs, he’d said.  She had no idea when he’d be back. 

“Not in the wildest imagination could I call you a poor substitute for anything,” Ackerman said with that smile again.  “In fact I can’t imagine how your husband stays away as much as he does.  With such a beautiful woman to come home to, I would never work a minute of overtime.”

“Ed’s work is very important to him.”

“Yes, he and Mustang do put in a lot of overtime together, don’t they?  I’ve come to check on Roy more than once to find them both standing over his desk.  I don’t understand a thing about alchemy, other than it works, but it must have been something intense, the way they are so often flushed when I interrupt.”

Winry’s eyes widened.  She might be a country girl, but she understood quite well what he was insinuating.  “General, I just remembered that I have a customer coming by in a bit to pick up some automail pieces.  I’m afraid I must cut this visit short.  I will let Ed know that you stopped by to ask about him.  I’m sure he’ll be delighted to know he is held in such high regard by the military.”

Her own smile, she was sure, no longer matched her eyes, but she could be polite when she had to.  And no matter what the man had just said, he had a higher rank than Ed and she couldn’t risk damaging Ed’s reputation just because the man made insinuations.

General Ackerman simply sipped his tea one last time before he stood.  She stood with him and saw him to the front door.  “It was a pleasure, Mrs. Rockbell-Elric.  I hope you’ll allow me this one word of advice before we part ways.  Dogs of the military, they tend to keep to their own.  People who get between them usually get hurt.  Whatever happens, promise me you’ll be careful.  General Mustang is very protective of his team.  And I would say he is borderline possessive of the Alchemist of the People.  It gives him a great deal of credit with the public, after all, to have Fullmetal in his pocket.”

He turned and walked away before she could say anything else. 

She was furious.  She wasn’t sure who to be madder at; the man who’d left, the General who’d sent him, or her wayward husband.  She closed the door after she watched the general drive away in his car.

“Winry?”  She turned to look out the back door and Paninya was watching her carefully.  “Who was that?”

Winry let out a deep breath.  “Some general come to chat with Ed, wherever the hell he is.”

“I saw him by the stream a bit ago.  He was on the big rock, writing a letter to his boss.  Why doesn’t he just use a desk like normal people?  He got all crazy when I showed up.  You know how he is.”

Winry bit her lower lip.  Yeah, she did know.  But Ed got worked up for a reason, not for nothing.  What was he writing the General about?  He’d been in Resembool for the past three weeks so there was no report he needed to send in.  Not that she wasn’t grateful to have her husband home, but she didn’t think he’d been there for that long a stretch since Al had moved to Central to go to the university.

She knew there was nothing to what the general had said, but she couldn’t help the small cornel of uncertainty as she remembered the night of the party and how close Ed and Mustang had been when she’d seen them out on the balcony together.  She couldn’t forget the way Mustang’s hand had held Ed’s as they spoke or the flush that had been on Ed’s face as he’d come back into the room.

She couldn’t forget restless nights where her husband woke her, tossing and turning, until his dreams turned calmer with a mumbled “Roy” under his breath.   

She couldn’t forget, but she was quite capable of burying it under work until she had a better time to deal with it.  “Well, now that he’s gone, we have that arm to look at.”

She went back to work and did her best to focus on the hand at hand.

 

 

The sun had set hours before Ed made his way home, the light upstairs drawing him back as it always had.  A bowl of stew had been left out for him and he ate quickly.  He’d finished his letter to Mustang and walked it all the way to the station and back.  It was a long walk, but it calmed him.  He had itching feet and a need to roam.  The weeks in Resembool had been good for Winry, he knew, but he felt out of the loop at the office and he hated that. 

Winry was in the living room when he finished eating.  Her back was straight and her lips were drawn into a tight line as she looked into the empty fireplace. 

“Winry?”  He called her name. 

“Do you know a General Ackerman?” she asked.

“What?  Why?”

“He stopped by for a visit today.  I didn’t know where you were.  He was … well… rude and someone I never want to meet again.  Why would General Mustang ask that man to stop here?”

“General Ackerman is a pain in the ass.  Trust me on this.  Mustang did not send him here.  What did he talk to you about?”

She looked down at her hands and he could tell something about the visit really bothered her.  Not simple rudeness.  Hell, she was married to him.  She was used to that by now.  This was something deeper.  Something she didn’t want to share.

“He was talking about your work with General Mustang.  About your team.”

“Damn him!  Why is he trying to get dirt on the team?  What is he playing at?” Ed demanded.  That had to be it.  Mustang had warned him a while back that Ackerman was dangerous but he didn’t know the man’s motivations yet.  At least Ed would be able to give him something.

“Ed?”

“Mustang warned me, at the Embassy exhibit.  The man is no good. I don’t know what he’s up to, but I don’t trust him farther than I could throw him.  If he shows up again, tell him he can catch the next train out!  You don’t need to entertain him just because he shows up and flashes his rank.”

“He wasn’t any trouble, Ed.  It was just odd, was all.”

“Don’t worry Winry, he won’t make trouble for Mustang.  I’ll make sure of it.”

She shook her head slightly and he still felt like there was more that needed to be said but he had no idea what.

“Winry?”

“I’m tired.  I’m heading to bed.”

“Yeah, me too.  Took a walk down to the station today and back.  I’m ready for some sleep.”

 

 

Considering how agitated Ed had gotten over Ackerman’s visit, Winry was glad she hadn’t mentioned the man’s insinuations.  The more Ed spoke of him, the more she realized he had just been looking for some kind of trouble here.  Through her.  She had no desire to give him the satisfaction and she did her best to help Ed forget about the general in the first place.

When he was curled up behind her in bed that night, her own body spooned closely against his, his hand resting lightly on her hip as they tried to settle for sleep, he mentioned it one last time.

“How long did he say it would be before Mustang was back?”

She bit her lip and closed her eyes.  “He didn’t say.”

“Jackass.  He’s going to rue the day he set his sights on Mustang.”

Winry didn’t say anything else about it.  It was starting to build though, with every word Ed said.  She knew she had to get it out before it ate her alive.  It was an innocent thing, really, but something that had stuck all afternoon.

“Hey, do you think you could maybe start writing me when you’re traveling?” she asked.    

“Like… letters?”

“Yeah.”

“What, I’m not entertaining enough on the phone?  I thought I was doing better at that?”

She could hear his confusion and she sighed.  “You are.  I just … thought it might be nice to get letters.  Something that I could maybe reread when you’re gone for longer periods.”

“Winry, I told you I’m going to try to get home more.  Make sure I have the time to really be home more than a day or two at a time.  I promise.”

“Is it really so hard to write your wife a letter?”

“Yes?”

She pulled away and looked back at him.  He’d dropped onto his back and she stared at him, waiting for something more.  As always, her eyes were drawn to her husband’s automail to make sure there was no damage to it.  She was surprised as she saw something red gleam in the dim light of the room.  It hadn’t been there that morning.  Ed was taking him time trying to answer her and while she was annoyed at that, she couldn’t help but wonder what was on his automail.  He brought a hand up and rubbed his thumb over it and she realized that whatever it was, Ed had put it there.

“I’m sorry Winry.  I don’t know how to explain it.  Letters … I don’t like putting my emotions on paper.  It’s like baring my soul but I’m no good with words and I’m just as likely to piss someone off as to make them understand what I’m trying to say.  I … need to see people face to face.  I just… to put it in a letter like that … it puts too much trust in the other person understanding me well enough to see through the bullshit and know what I mean.  I’ve tried to write you, Winry, I have, but I just can’t ever seem to figure out how to do it.”

But he’d been writing to Mustang that afternoon.   He trusted Mustang to understand him well enough. 

“Did… did Paninya say something to you today?”

“What?  Why?  What happened between the two of you?”

“Oh.  Nothing,” he lied.  “Just typical brat interrupting my nap and we started yelling.”

“You’ll try though, right?  To write me a letter?  Maybe it would be easier if I wrote you.”

“Winry, I barely know where I’m going to be day to day.  If you tried to write me, the letters would probably just follow me until after I got back home anyway.  I like our phone calls.  Isn’t that enough?”

“Yeah,” she said after a moment.  “Sure, Ed.”

He raised a hand to cup her cheek but she pulled away and turned over onto her side, facing away from him. 

“Win?”

“Let’s get some sleep, Ed.  It was a long day and the general was sort of creepy.  I just wanna sleep and forget he was ever here.”

Ed pulled her back against his side and his lips brushed over the back of her neck.  “Yeah, of course.  Good night.”

She didn’t answer but she stayed awake long after her husband had fallen into dreams.  She turned over to face him and it gave her the time she needed to look at the new addition to Ed’s chest piece.  It was an enamel charm, a fire with a serpent wrapped around it.  She didn’t need to wonder where it had come from.  She didn’t wonder why Ed had transmuted it where he had.  She didn’t wonder what he’d been thinking about as his thumb had swept across it, over and over again, while he’d tried to fall asleep.

Her own sleep, when she found it, was full of nightmares.  Years’ worth of incriminating memories repeated over and over again, until she stood on the outside of the balcony doors again, watching the man she loved as he pressed his body tightly against another man.  Where reality had held them further apart, and only their hands had touched, there was no space between them in her dreams.  And when Roy Mustang lifted her husband’s chin to kiss him, there was no hesitation; even when he looked straight at Winry.

 

 

Two days after Ackerman left, Ed found himself at the train station.  He’d said goodbye to Winry at their home, unwilling to ask her to wait with him at the station.  She hadn’t offered.  He didn’t know what had happened, but the air between them had suddenly become tense and dangerous.  He had no idea what he’d said or done. She said it wasn’t the general’s visit.  She said she was just focused on an incoming customer, but Ed knew better.  He just didn’t know exactly why she was lying to him. 

So instead of screaming it out, Ed decided it was time to just bow out and let Winry have some time.  She’d let him know when she was ready to talk, right?

The ride to Central made him stiff, but Al was there at the station and that improved his mood.  It was way too soon for another letter from Mustang, but there was always the chance of a call once he got into the office again.  It didn’t happen often, but you never knew when the General would need their support while dealing with his diplomatic duties.

When Ed got to the office, it was strangely quiet.  He opened the door and stared at Breda, Fuery, and Falman.

“What the hell is going on here?” he asked.

“We call it desk work,” Breda said with a smile as he looked up and saw Ed.  “Some people actually have to turn in reports, you know.”

Ed laughed.  “Somehow I imagined a lot less work and a lot more gambling with Hawkeye gone.” 

For someone who was such a stickler for rules, Falman had a passion for cards and it was the one sure way to get him to relax.  They had all exploited it at one point or another.

“To be honest,” Fuery said, “there was.  But you can only play so many hands of cards before even that gets boring.”

“You’re working because you were bored?”

Fuery shrugged, but Breda started in again.  “That Alchemist you sent packing for the second time?”

“The Merciful Alchemist?” Ed asked.

“Yep, that one.  He escaped.  Again.”

“What the hell?”

“Investigations isn’t getting much of anywhere.  Armstrong came by with a box of the alchemist’s notes though.  He said maybe you could help him out if you don’t have anything else?”

“You guys do remember that I actually work for his office, and I’m just a contractor loaned out to you, right?”

Breda smiled.  “I think Armstrong forgets that.”

Ed laughed.  “Do I have anything else to work on?” Breda was in charge of the office with the others away.  He’d been looking forward to traveling but research could give him the needed focus to get his mind off his trouble with Winry. 

“Nothing.  You can help Armstrong out on it.”

“Alright.  Guess I’ll brush up on my researching skills then.”

“Like they go rusty…” Fuery teased.

Ed shot his a smile as he noticed Breda pointing to a box.  “I’m not getting through this tonight.”

“Nah, you just got in today.  Take the weekend and come back Monday.  I’m not working late on a Friday without Hawkeye here to make me.” 

As he spoke, he was writing a note on a paper. 

“You’re going to need all the stuff from the first arrest, right?” Breda asked.

“Yeah.  I don’t know if anyone actually reviewed the research we found that night.  It was only a day or two before I left for Creta.”

“I believe we were told there were other priorities and to let East City sort it out.  We’ll get the research moved up here Monday then.  Hey Falman, why don’t you give Ed a lift home, then we can all get an early start on the weekend!”  He handed the paper over to Falman who nodded. 

“I just want it on record that you’re the boss and I’m following orders.”

“Come on Falman, no one will know,” Ed said to keep up the charade as Falman handed the paper over to him.    

_Office is bugged again. Merciful’s escape was an inside job.  Armstrong wants the research gone through this weekend.  Falman will help you get it all to the car and help you unload it there.  If you need anything, be careful what you say._

Twice he’d caught the Merciful Alchemist and twice he’d escaped.  He looked around the room and Breda just gave a small nod.  Ed understood too much in that one moment.  The guy had escaped the police and the military.  They had been told to stop investigating after his first incarceration.  Where the hell had that order come from?  Was Mustang’s caution in his letters related to this or was that another issue?  And did General Ackerman have anything to do with it?   Ed rubbed absently at the charm on his chest plate. 

“Hawkeye will.  She always does,” Fuery added, unhelpfully. 

“Yeah but she’s in Xing.  We’re safe for a while.”

Falman held his finger up for Ed to wait for him a minute and then Ed watched as Falman left the room. 

Ed grabbed a pen and wrote on the back of the paper. 

_Ackerman?_

Breda shrugged.  “I don’t know about safe.  Who knows when anyone will be back from Xing.”

“True.  It’s not like they write ahead or call most of the time.  In fact, you know the General has been prone to stopping to see Winry in Resembool without notice to check up on her.”

Breda’s eyes widened and Ed knew they were on the same page in this conversation.  Ackerman had made it back to Central before the break out and Breda didn’t know that Ackerman had visited Resembool.

“At least when that happens she usually calls us to give us a heads up.”

Ed nodded.  Yes, Winry was aware he wasn’t exactly a friend and she was keeping an eye around home.

Falman stuck his head back in the door and Ed could see Armstrong behind him with boxes in his arms.  Falman grabbed his coat and then the last box.

“If you’re done catching up, I’ll go ahead and drive you home, Major Elric.”

“I’m ready.  Time to relax.”

“You just came off a vacation,” Fuery pointed out.

“It was a medical visit with my automechanic.”

“Downtime with your wife.”

Ed laughed.  “That just shows that you aren’t married.  Now is when I need the vacation.”

They joined in, but as he followed Falman out the door, he saw they were cleaning the office up.  If there was a bug, usually Fuery was quick to find it and remove it.  He wondered what sort of game Breda was playing with the person on the other end. 

The car was waiting for them and they loaded it in silence.  When Ed opened the door to get in, Armstrong touched his wrist gently, a manner that was at odds with his enormous size.  “Be careful, Fullmetal.  We don’t know where this goes.  Most of our allies are in Xing and this madman won’t stop killing until we stop him.  If you need anything, call on me.”

“Alright, Major,” Ed said solemnly.  He’d thought to come back to the office and get a nice light mission or some paperwork to boringly drudge through.  He hadn’t expected something like this.    

He hated that his friends might be in danger, but he couldn’t deny that it felt good to be doing something important.  He got in the car and Falman sped him back towards his apartment.  It was a quiet ride, with Ed lost in his thoughts as he remembered his first encounter with the Merciful Alchemist.

He tried hard not to think too much about that night.  About the what ifs that still plagued him, years later.   

When they pulled up, Alphonse was just walking up to the building after a late class.  He waved to Falman and waited until Ed opened the door.  “Brother, you’re back early.”

“I’m bringing work home this weekend.”

“I thought you’d have an easy night with Hawkeye gone,” Al teased.

“Afraid not, Alphonse,” Falman answered.  “I’ll help you in with these, Major Elric.”

Ed rolled his eyes at the title but he accepted the help.  Alphonse grabbed a box and so did Ed.  Falman grabbed the last and they set it all in the study.

“Be careful, Major Elric,” Falman said as he went to leave.  “I know it’s been said already, but you tend to ignore your own safety.  You’ve been known to get in trouble just going to the store.”

Ed’s eyes widened and he looked back at his brother and saw the same.  Mustang was paranoid about his team and set up a warning system years ago.  Al knew it too.  If they got a call from one of the others saying they were going to the store, it meant they needed help immediately.  If Ed needed help, he was to make a call and use those words. 

“Yeah, well you know my plans for the weekend,” Ed said.  “Have a nice weekend, Falman, and thanks for the ride.” 

The other man said his good-byes and Ed was left alone with his brother. 

“Brother, what is all this?” 

Even as he asked, Al was clearing off their random books and notes and making room on the table for the new project.  Ed began by stacking the books found in the first bust at one end of the table with the notes on that side. 

“These boxes were from the first time we captured him?” Al asked. 

Ed nodded.  “This one was from this last time.”

“We need to start with his most recent notes and see if we can see what he was planning to do next,” Al said as he pulled the notes from the most recent box.  “I’ll start here and you can start with the first box and figure out what he was researching.  The name Merciful Alchemist doesn’t really give us much of a hint, does it?”

Ed just stared at Al for a moment before he smiled at his brother.  “Don’t you have school work or something?”

Al looked up and blushed.  “Sorry.  I mean… I just …”

Ed laughed.  “It’s okay.  If you’re done with school work, you know I can use the help.  You’re better at deciphering notes than I am anyway.”

“I guess,” Al said with a grin.  “How about I call that place down the street and see if they’ll deliver food before we get too engrossed and forget that there’s no food in the house?”

“And that is why you are the smartest Elric,” Ed said as he pulled out another handful of books.  He was already categorizing the ones that were too basic to need reviewing and the ones that were unique.   He grabbed the notes from the first arrest and began to sort them out, trying to see exactly what the Merciful Alchemist had been doing.

 

 

Over the weekend Ed got a call saying the office was clear again so they’d start up bright and early Monday morning.  Ed was grateful they didn’t have to be worried about a bug on Monday, and even more so that he wasn’t asked if they’d found anything yet. 

He needed more time to think through what they’d found, and what it could really mean.  He and Al had debated it half the day on Sunday.  What Tanner was trying to do wasn’t as hard to figure out as the question of if he could actually do it.  Neither of them wanted to believe it, but then Al had brought up some medical uses of alchehestry and it had begun their debate all over again.

When they entered the office, Breda, Falman, and Fuery were already hard at it. 

“Hey Al!  Thought you had class this morning?” Breda asked.

It never failed to make Ed grateful at the way the office looked after his brother, even if he had never technically been a part of the team.  They always treated him like he belonged there; even now that he was head deep in research and classes at the university.

“I probably should be, but this needed me more,” he said, pointing to the box of things that Ed had brought back.  Al had a few books in his arms too but most of the research was still back at their apartment. 

“You figured it out?” Breda asked.

Ed looked at Al and his brother nodded.  Ed set the box down and started to grab some books from Al but Fuery had the same idea and they bumped into each other.  The books fell out of Al’s arms all over the floor. 

“I’m so sorry!” Fuery said as he bent over to start stacking the books up again.

“What is that?” Al asked, as he grabbed the book in the other man’s hand.  As Ed watched, Al tugged slightly at the inside of the front cover of the book.  It began to peel away and Al held up a couple sheets of paper. 

“Al?”

“Go ahead, Brother.  I’ll take a look at this.”  It was in one of the basic books that they’d brought back to return to evidence.  There was no reason for them to even look at it.  Ed had a feeling they needed to go through all the books again. 

“Bastards.  Who gave him a right to desecrate books?”

“Ed?” Breda pulled him away before he could start to rant about it.  Ed might be a bit rough with things, but he would never think to harm a book. 

“Alright.  So Al and I managed to crack this guy’s code and it’s not pretty.  He calls himself the Merciful Alchemist because he believes that he is performing mercy killings.”

“Like soldiers on the battlefield?” Fuery asked.  His time at the front in Fotset had given him far too much experience in the art of war and it was still unsettling when Ed saw it first-hand.

“Exactly.  Minus the battlefield.  He believes the array he made can tell whether a person wants to live or die.  We believe he’s using the array to test people somehow.  And he’s killing those who fail.”

“Brother, do you have a list of all the people he’s killed so far?”

Ed began looking for it while he saw Al translating what he’d found in the book.  It was a list of some sort. 

Falman found the list of names that Shaun Tanner had killed and put it on the table.

“What is he testing and how are they failing?”

“Al and I have been arguing about it all weekend.  Tanner’s notes lead to the idea that he can detect people who want to die.  It’s bullshit.  Alchemy is science, not magic, and you can’t read someone’s mind.”

“But in Xing they can use alchehestry to detect people who are going through emotional trauma and use it to help them,” Al chimed in.

“Yeah,” Ed said as he looked at Breda.  “So we don’t think the guy can read minds, but he is using the array to look for people that fit whatever his specific need is, and once he does, he’s killing them.” 

 Al finished the list he was working on and set it down.  Al’s list was longer, but in the end, every person killed before the South Helston arrest was on the list.

“Brother.”

“We need to check the books and see if there are other lists.”

Al nodded.  “I think we need to get the rest of the books from the apartment.  Some of the more recent notes were in those books.”

“Yeah, I’ll go grab it.”

There was a pause as Ed looked over the notes and his thoughts were absorbed with what they were seeing.  “I’ll give you a hand,” Falman said a moment later.  Ed took the help, mostly because it meant a car ride and faster access to the work. 

“Stay safe, Al, I’ll be back soon.”

“You too, Brother!”

 

 

As the door closed behind Ed and Captain Falman, Al looked at the other two men.

“Do you want to tell us what that was about?” Breda asked.

As Ed had been staring at the books and thinking about what else they might find, Al had tried to signal the others that he needed to talk without his brother there.   Thankfully, his brother’s ability to get lost in his thoughts had worked for Al and he hadn’t been any wiser. 

Al was just grateful that Vato had gone with his brother.  

“This list we found.  It was in a book that was taken from the notes from Tanner’s second arrest.  The names correspond with people that were killed before his first arrest even.  We don’t know when he made this list or how he came about it.  We need to figure out what connects all these victims to the people who are listed but he hasn’t killed yet.”

“Al?” Fuery asked.

“There is one name I translated that I didn’t put on this list.”

“Who?”

“I need this to stay between us.  The name… if we act differently I’m afraid he’ll figure it out and do something stupid and rash.  And if I put this name on paper, it will be treated differently but I need to know someone else is aware.  I can trust you two, can’t I?” he asked.

They both nodded.  “Al, who is the name you can’t put on the list?” Breda asked. 

He could see their fear.  It was obvious it was someone in the office or he wouldn’t be acting like this.  Given what he was saying, it was really a question of which of the two he was speaking of;  Flame or Fullmetal.

“Ed Elric.”

“What?”

“The killer thinks my brother wants to die, and I think South Helston might have been a trap to kill him.”

 

 

“This is a beautiful home you have here, Mrs. Rockbell-Elric.”

The old man was such a dear and Winry smiled as she held out a cup of tea to him.  She’d led him through her workshop where Paninya was working on some basic wiring for her.  The man had blanched at the site of the diagrams and she’d brought him through to the house.  Now, sitting on her couch in the living room, he seemed to be doing better.

“Thank you.  It’s not much, but we like it.”

“We?”

“My Granny.  Pinako Rockbell.  She’s where I learned most of what I know about automail.  My apprentice lives here with us as well.  And my husband, of course,” she remembered to add.  “You said you wanted to talk about your granddaughter?”

“Yes,” he said as he took a sip of his tea.  “She was in an accident and she lost one of her legs.  She is so young, only 12, and she has the rest of her life ahead of her.  I heard that you had performed automail surgery on a young man before, someone of similar age.  Along with your reputation for fine automail, it made me want to come speak to you directly.  The others I’ve met with don’t have any experience with the growing pains of someone aging with their automail as she would.”

“I can understand your concerns about that,” Winry said honestly.  “Automail surgery isn’t easy on the body and for someone so young it is a long term care situation.  Are you certain she wants to have the surgery done this young?  It isn’t something to rush into.”

“She was always a very active, spirited girl.  Now, she just stares out the window and mopes.  I think she needs the mobility to recover from the experience.  Otherwise, I fear we’ll lose her.”

Winry let out a deep breath.  She could remember all too well how Ed had been after he had first lost his leg and arm.  If it hadn’t been for the General, Colonel back then, she wasn’t sure Ed would ever have recovered.  He’d given Ed the push to do something more than sit around and sulk.

“Perhaps you could tell me about the boy you helped?” he asked.

Winry gave him a small smile.  “The boy was actually my husband.”

“What?”

She nodded.  “Ed was 11 when he had the surgery.  He was extremely hard headed and determined to heal as fast as possible.  He was very diligent about this exercises and taking care of himself and his automail.”

“It sounds like he must be an easy customer to care for,” he said with a smile. 

Winry laughed softly but shook her head.  “He’s a state alchemist, so he finds his way into trouble often enough that the Amestrian military is my best client.  He was very careful of his automail when it was new, but it’s a part of his life now.  It’s so much a part of him that he doesn’t think to care for it any different than he would the rest of himself.”

“Ah.  A soldier.  But he made the transitions well, from child to teen to an adult-sized limb?”

“Absolutely.  Ed had his left leg and his right arm amputated so for him it was even more crucial to make sure the proportions and dimensions were correct.  His body was under a lot of strain from the pull of automail on both sides of his spine like that.  You wouldn’t know it to see him move around though.  Ed is as fast on his feet as anyone I’ve ever known.  And like you said, a soldier, so he has to be able to defend himself well.”

The old man set his cup down and looked up at Winry.  “I know this is personal but, was there ever a time when you thought he just didn’t want to do it anymore?  Where he just … gave up on the automail and what had happened and just stopped?”

“I think, when the accident first happened, Ed was ready to give up.  He got a visit though, and it put a fire in him.”  She let out a deep breath at the memory.  And pushed aside the thought that it wasn’t her or Granny that had been able to give Ed what he needed to see past the darkness of his life back then.  Somehow, it had always been Roy Mustang who understood what he needed better than she did.

“After that, my husband is far too stubborn to give up,” she said with a grin. 

“I would love to meet your husband and get his perspective of having automail from such a young age.  He wouldn’t happen to be around, would he?”

Winry shook her head.  “I’m afraid he’s away on a mission for the military at the moment.  If you would like to catch him sometime though, it might be easier to call the Central Command Center and ask for General Mustang’s office.”

“Thank you so much.  I should let you get back to your workshop now.  It was certainly an enlightening experience.   I will talk to my son and I’m certain we’ll be in touch soon.”

She walked him to the door and helped him down the steps.  “One more question, if you don’t mind.  You said your husband went into a similar fugue state.  Who was it that got him around?”

Winry rubbed the fingers of one hand as she tried to think of what to say.  There was so much behind the reality of it, but there was very little she could actually say.  He was so terribly worried about his granddaughter though and Winry wanted to help as much as she could.

“His current CO.  General Mustang.  He came to Resembool when he heard about two alchemic geniuses.  When he found Ed after the accident, he reminded him of all the things he could do with his life.  It gave him the fire to start moving forward again.”

“He was lucky to have someone who could reach him.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to reach your granddaughter too.  As I said, feel free to call General Mustang’s office to see about talking to Ed.  Maybe he could help your granddaughter.”

The old man smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand.   “Thank you, my dear.  You have been very gracious.  I look forward to seeing you again in the future.”

“You too, Mr. Tauten.”

 

 

Ed let out a deep breath as he stared at the ceiling of his hotel room in East City.  Yeah, he could have stayed in the barracks but he’d gotten used to his own place over the years and the barracks were a pain in the ass; especially on the hard nights, when Ed had trouble waking from his nightmares.  No one would dare mention it, one soldier to another, but they all knew and they’d look at him funny in the morning. 

It was his favorite hotel in East City, so he had that going for him at least.  It had a nice bed, the rooms were well insulated so he couldn’t hear the noise from others, and he’d paid the extra fee to have a phone in his room.  He had to call in to the office to make his report, but he thought maybe he’d make a call to Winry and Al tonight as well. 

Winry would have long ago put away her tools and would be relaxing, unless there was a rush job, in which case it would be a really short call.  Al, on the other hand, would more than likely be up studying, working on his research, or on the case with Mustang’s team.  It would be a long call either way and Ed was happy to have the phone in his room to be able to debate and argue with his brother as the subject deemed fit. 

He stared at the files on his bed and at his own handwritten notes and he hated what he saw.  He set his notes on the edge of the bed, then took a seat by the phone and made the call. 

It only took a couple minutes before he’d been properly routed through the secured lines to Mustang’s office. 

“General Mustang’s office,” the cool voice at the end of the phone answered.

“Hawkeye?” Ed said with a smile.  “When did you get back from Xing?”

“The train last night,” she answered.  She sounded tired, but the tired of travel, not strain and late nights.  That spoke well of their mission, both for Amestris and Mustang’s personal goals.  “Where are you, Ed?”

“East City.  I was calling in to report to Breda but-”

“I’ll put you through to the General now.  We’ve already been briefed on the case.”

The phone clicked over a moment later.  “Fullmetal?”

“General Bastard.  Heard you just made it back.  Did Xing keep you entertained?”

Mustang laughed.  “It was a diplomatic mission, not a vacation.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You have something to report?”

“Yeah.  So Al had a list of names but only about half of them had been linked back to Shaun Tanner.  When I started to investigate the other names, they were all dead.  Most died before we caught him the first time in East City, but it looks like he continued his list after he escaped.”

“How did they miss the connection to the other victims?”

“Without the list Al found, there was no connection.  The other people died in their sleep.  Some didn’t seem all that odd, but then there was an 18 year old soldier and a 26 year old doctor.  There was nothing, health wise that says these people should have died.  Their deaths were marked as natural though because foul play was ruled out.”

“But alchemy?”

“I’m going to visit the first victim on the list tomorrow.  He was young enough he still lived at home with his parents.  They haven’t gone into his room since he was found.  If there was any trace of alchemy I’m hoping it will still be there.”

“Alright.  Be careful Fullmetal.  Tanner knows what you look like.”

“I have something else I haven’t been able to run down yet.  Maybe you guys can run it down on that end.”

“What is it?”

“So far, everyone that I could verify came through the Central City Train Depot the day before they died.”

“What?”

“Yeah.  I don’t know what it means, but I think we need to see if everyone else on the list checked out.”

“We’ll get on that.  Maybe that’s where Tanner was tracking them from.”

“Maybe he’s using the busy station as a way to get a wide group of subjects to find someone from, or maybe it’s just easier to follow them once they get on the train.  Or maybe he lives there?  Who knows?  It’s not a great lead, considering how many people come through Central, but it’s something.”

“Yes it is,” Mustang said.  There was a pause before he continued.  “You sound tired, Ed.”

“It’s been a long couple weeks.  Did they tell you Ackerman went to Resembool?”

“Yes.  I’m so sorry about that Ed.  I was told he had the nerve to claim I sent him too.”

“Yeah.  Winry knows better but he unnerved her.  I’m not sure why.”

“He wasn’t happy to be asked to leave Xing before the rest of the delegation.”

“I was going to ask how you managed that.”

“He managed it himself.  I wasn’t aware that he held alchemists in such low esteem and he said the wrong thing where Mei could hear him.  She, of course, spoke to Ling and he asked Ackerman to leave.  The way Ling did it, Ackerman didn’t have a choice, and neither did I.”

“Man, I wish I could have seen his face!”  Mustang chucked on the other end of the phone and Ed took a deep breath.  “You sound more relaxed than when you left.”

“The negotiations were rather taxing, but I rather found Ling to be good company when he decided to slip away from his entourage and join me in my rooms.”

“He did what?”  His voice was harsher than it should be, an edge that he had no right to.  There was a moment of pure jealousy though and he had no doubt Mustang had heard it from the sharp intake of breath on the other side of the phone.

“Would you be more reassured if I told you he no longer tries to lose Lan Fan when he leaves the others?”       

“Yeah, actually,” Ed let out a deep breath.  Mustang had mistaken his reaction as a fear for Ling’s safety and not jealousy.  “Ling’s an idiot,” Ed continued conversationally. 

“So, other than Ackerman? You said it’s been a long week.”

“This case is crazy.  And the office being bugged sort of had everyone a little jumpy.”

“They’re still trying to see if they can track down where this particular bug came from, but I’m afraid we already know the answer to that one.”

“Ackerman,” Ed said.

“Yes.”  There was a moment of silence and Mustang broke it before it could get too long.  “Al has been an enormous help with this case.  I made him go to class this morning, which he wasn’t too happy about.  In return he’s making me read through his current research.  It looks to be a late evening, but an enjoyable one.”

“Glad to know Al is keeping you occupied.  Wouldn’t want you to get bored.”

“Hardly an issue,” Mustang said with a smile.  “You should get some rest though, Ed.  You sound tired.”

“Yeah.  Think I’m going to grab some food at the café downstairs and call it a night.” His hand trailed under his unbuttoned shirt to touch the charm he’d transmuted into his automail. 

“Good idea.  And Ed, call your wife.  She’ll be better company than a tired old General.”

Ed laughed at that.  “Pushy.  Why are you always worried about my wife?”

“Because I find her endlessly patient, consummately caring, and I am entirely enamored of her,” Mustang said.

“Maybe the wrong soldier proposed at the train station that day,” Ed teased.  It fell flat as soon as he said it, because they had never talked about that day.  His hand dropped to the side and Ed could remember all too easily the way he’d felt about Mustang as he’d watched him walk away and the way he’d rationalized his future with Winry instead.

The air felt heavy with things left undone and then Mustang’s voice came across the line, darker, deeper than he’d heard it before.

“Maybe.”

He swallowed against the lump in his throat because in that one word he knew he’d been lying to himself all these years.  It hadn’t been one sided.  It hadn’t been just a whim or a fancy on Mustang’s part.  The letters they shared, the random late night phone calls.  It went both ways. 

Ed had been in love with Roy Mustang since he was 18 years old.  He’d just been too stupid to admit it had been returned by someone who would love him in ways no one else could.  By someone who knew him and understood him in ways that no one else could.

“Good night, Ed.”

“Good night, Roy.”

 

 

It had taken over an hour, but Ed stared at the letter in his hands and let out a deep breath.  He didn’t know why he’d felt the need to make the confession tonight but he did.  The pen in hand kept him from reaching to the phone and saying the words he could never unsay though, so he was grateful enough for the ink and paper in front of him.

He couldn’t do it though.  No matter how much had changed in that one exchange, nothing really had.  Ed loved Roy and he had for years.  And he had finally admitted to himself that Roy had been in love with him too.  There was nothing more to do about it though, because Ed was married and he could never betray Winry like that. 

He crumbled the letter in his hands and threw it in the trash, dashing his eyes with his hand to wipe the tears away.  He wasn’t hungry and he wasn’t ready to face to sleep but he undressed and slid under the blanket anyway.  He lay back on the bed and dropped his hand to his automail shoulder and felt the charm that Mustang had given him.  For the first time in years, he wished for the nightmares.  At least in blood-soaked dreams he could forget the longing of the voice on the other end of the line and the years of moments that spoke of love too strongly to overlook now.

 

 

The meeting was an hour in and Roy had been finished with it 2 minutes after it started.  There were a number of notable soldiers in the room, and Roy was grateful, at least, to have Alex Louis Armstrong at his side.  The Fuhrer had spent plenty of time going through mundane business before he’d asked Roy about his trip to Xing.  He’d already reported his work there, but the conversation opened it up to questions and comments and the last thing Roy had the patience for today was General Ackerman sitting across the room and questioning everything.

He was discrete about his own dismissal and never mentioned it outright but Roy had a hard time keeping his usual poker face in place.  It was bad enough that he’d offended the Emperor by speaking poorly of alchemists – and alchehestry practitioners by association – but he’d also done so in front of Mei Chang.  She’d also heard him speaking poorly of Edward and the girl had bitten her tongue with more diplomacy than Ackerman had shown, and spoken to Ling in private.

Only a fool was unaware of the relationship between the Fullmetal Alchemist and the Emperor of Xing.  The basis of their relationship with Xing was that friendship that Ed had developed when Ling was still a Prince, combined with the goodwill of Alphonse’s time training with Mei and her clan.  The only explanation was the man was either an idiot, he was purposely disrupting the talks with Xing, or he wanted to sabotage the talks because Roy Mustang led them.

Looking across the room at the man now, Roy had no doubt that it was personal. 

“Perhaps a more experiences statesman would have been able to get access to the other goods as well,” the man said to finish off his speech about the shortcomings of the Xing mission.

The Fuhrer looked at Ackerman and gave a short nod.  It wasn’t an approval but a considering look.  “I think Parliament will be quite happy with the work you’ve done, General Mustang,” Grumman said dismissively.  “I know I certainly am.  I’ve been told the Emperor likes to keep his opponents on their toes and changes times and places of meetings to make them scramble around at his whim.  I believe our previous Xing ambassador said he was forced to hold meetings while Ling was visiting his harem.  I think we can be grateful for your relationship with the man on the Promised Day for ensuring that didn’t happen.”

Mustang smiled at the rumors because Mustang knew it was true.  Ling had laughed himself silly telling Roy about that.  He’d been through half a bottle of brandy on his own and was regaling Roy of his favorite diplomatic adventures.

“Thank you, Your Excellency.  I was rather pleased about that myself.”

“Perhaps the next time, you’ll be able to take Major Elric with you.  I’ve heard the Emperor and Elric had a rather interesting relationship.  That might be enough to keep him on his toes in the next negotiation.”

Roy smiled at that, even if the thought of Fullmetal hurt.  “I will do what I can.”

A moment later the Fuhrer dismissed them.  Roy walked out of the office to wait for Armstrong who had to stay behind a moment.  He was alone in the hallway when a final figure left the room.  Roy looked up at a sneering Ackerman.

“You are so sure of your favorites, Mustang, but you might want to check your loyalties.  Do you really think they deserve that trust you put in them?”

“What do you want, Ackerman?”  He was usually not so rude to another officer but he had enough of him, and no one questioned the loyalty of Roy’s men.

“You might want to keep an eye on that stray of yours in Resembool.  His wife is starting to figure out just exactly where her husband fits in your office.”

Roy clenched his jaw tight and waited because he knew Ackerman wasn’t done.  The other general stepped in even closer.

“We all know the best place for a dog in this military is on his knees with his Master’s collar around his neck.”

“General.”

The tone was firm and controlled, but the voice wasn’t Roy’s.  Mustang had no idea if Armstrong had heard Ackerman’s words and realized Roy had brought his fingers together, an unconscious preparation for battle, or if he’d simply witnessed the two in the uncomfortable position.

“Tell Fullmetal it was lovely to meet his wife.  And to help her put aside any doubts as to her husband’s best known talents.”

The shadow that was Armstrong was over them now and Ackerman was smart enough to move away.  Roy walked back towards Investigations where he was supposed to have a meeting with Armstrong now.  It was quiet in the halls, but once they reached the open air, Alex spoke.

“He had no right to make those insinuations.”

“I know.  He made it quite clear in Xing that he dislikes alchemists.  I’m not sure how deep rooted that hatred is, or if this is something specific to Fullmetal and myself.  I asked Breda to do some digging.”

“I’ll look into it as well.”

“Thank you, Alex.”

“Is Winry alright?”

“She is.  I spoke with her this morning after I found out Ackerman had been to visit.  I wanted to reassure her that I had not sent that man to visit her.  She was, as always, completely understanding.”

“And Ed?”

“Pissed.  Though I have a feeling the conversation I was reported was not as thorough as it should have been.  Neither Winry nor Ed said mentioned his disrespect for alchemists or any insinuations of … inappropriate conduct.”

“I don’t imagine Ed would keep quiet if there had been.”

“And Winry would.”

“I am heading on the outbound train this afternoon. Perhaps I’ll make a stop in Resembool to visit.”

Roy smiled.  “I would be greatly relieved if you were able to make a quick stop.  Winry is very dear to us all.”

Mustang was about to walk back into the crowded hallways when Alex stopped him with a hand on his arm.  “No one who knows the two of you would think anything of such allegations.”

Mustang blew out a deep breath because he knew what Alex was trying to warn him about.  “But it isn’t the first time they’ve been whispered and the wrong people might look.”

Armstrong nodded. 

“I’m aware.  It’s been an ongoing battle since I brought Fullmetal onto the team.”

“How do you handle it?” Armstrong asked.

Mustang smiled.  “I usually don’t.  I simply find a way to get Fullmetal into a room with whoever is mentioning such things.  If a conversation with Ed won’t tell you that he would never do anything he didn’t want to do, then no other proof could.”

Armstrong laughed as they made their way back into the hallways, but Mustang couldn’t help the nagging doubt in the back of his mind. 

 

 

It wasn’t a complete bust, but it wasn’t what Ed had wanted either.  He had found traces of chalk in the room of the first victim, but it had been mostly wiped away when the young man had been discovered all those years ago.  He made a drawing of what little he could find and moved on.  He visited three victims that day but it was always the same.  A little trace of something, maybe alchemy had been used in the room, but there was nothing definite.  Ed didn’t think Tanner had used alchemy to kill his victims, but he was beginning to think he had found some other way to bind them to keep them still while he suffocated them. 

Shaun Tanner wasn’t a big man and some of the victims could have easily overpowered him, had they tried.

He sighed as he sat on the bench at the train station, waiting for the last train to pull in.  If he was lucky and the train was actually on time, he’d be in Central before the team made it to the office in the morning. 

He had been early enough to get a good seat as he waited on the platform but it had started to fill out more now.   He’d thought about staying the night and getting the train out in the morning but it had been too long since he’d seen the team and he was antsy to see them.

And as much as he was worried about what would happen the next time he saw Mustang, he couldn’t help but want to see him now that they were back in the same country.  He thought about the phone call last night and the letter he’d thrown in the trash.  He rubbed at his chest, feeling the slight rise of the charm Mustang has sent him.  It wasn’t a good place for his head to go, especially when he was going to be stuck in his head the whole train ride home.  Hopefully he’d catch some sleep instead.

The thought of the ride suddenly made him feel cramped and claustrophobic so he stood up and decided to stretch his legs.  He raised his arms up high and stretched before he reached down to grab his bag.  He was jostled slightly by someone passing by and when Ed looked up, he hissed as he saw a man farther down the platform. 

Tanner.

Shit.  Mustang said Tanner would remember him.  Was he at the station because of Ed or was it just a coincidence?  Ed bent down to pretend to tie his shoe and watched the other man.  He was definitely looking for someone.  And while Ed couldn’t see the other faces, there were at least two men with him. 

As much as Ed wanted to take the guy down, he couldn’t do it on the train platform and endanger all the people waiting there.  When a third stooge walked up and spoke to Tanner, Ed realized he had to get Tanner off the platform. 

They were coming closer and Ed was trying to figure out what his move was.  He tucked his ponytail under his collar and pulled his jacket up and turned the other way so that his face was hidden as Tanner got closer.

“He came here after he checked out of the hotel,” one of the men said.

“You’re certain?”

“Yes.  We followed him.  What do we do now?”

“Find him.  I won’t let him escape this time.”

And that was Ed’s cue to get the hell out of there.  He let the other men pass and calmly stood up from his spot and grabbed his bag.  Tanner was after him specifically.  He wasn’t going to hurt someone else if Ed wasn’t there.  Now, he just had to get away from the train.  Ed might want to get the man to follow him away, but if he was seen it was far more likely to turn sour.  Anyone who knew Ed knew that he wouldn’t allow innocent people to get hurt.  All they had to do was grab someone from the crowd and Ed wouldn’t have a choice but to stand and fight.

As much as he wanted to do just that, he’d seen too many people hurt to be the cause of it like that.

Ed made it to the back side of the building without being followed and he let out a sigh of relief.  When he heard the train come in, he waited for it to stop.  His movements would be easier while everyone was boarding.

He crossed in front of the train and leaned against the front car for a second to see if he was followed before he stepped away.  As soon as he did, someone stepped between the cars and threw a fist at him.  It took him by surprise and Ed was knocked to the ground.  Two kicks followed up the fist and he grunted as it connected with his left side.  He clapped his hands and the earth bust open around the guy, pushing him back.  The guy ran for him and Ed side stepped it.  The man turned quickly, but Ed clapped again and the tracks in front of the train pulled up and caught him around the chest, pinning him to the ground. 

Ed let out a deep breath and turned to look back towards the train when a loud shot rang out.  Ed shouted out in pain as a bullet grazed his upper arm. 

“Stay where you are, Edward Elric.”

Ed didn’t recognize him but watched as the guy motioned him forward.  Ed did as he was told, waiting for the right moment.  It came when the guy tripped over the train tracks as he walked backward to keep Ed in his sights as he checked on his fallen companion.

Ed clapped his hands and pushed out with his alchemy until the metal of the train tracks pulled up and wrapped around the second guy’s torso.  The wooden boards on the track turned into a box to cover both the men’s heads so their speech would be muffled.  It wouldn’t take long for someone to find them, but Ed planned to be long gone by then.  And Tanner would know it and leave the train passengers alone for now.

Ed took off in a run.  He’d always had the Devil’s own luck and there was a slight hill that would give him cover as he continued down the road.  He heard a truck coming close a few minutes later and covered his wounded arm and smiled when an old farmer stopped to look at him. 

“You looking for trouble?” the guy asked when he stopped to see Ed.

“No.  Actually,” he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled at the guy, doing his best innocent expression.  “I got to the train station and realized I spent all my money buying my wife a souvenir.  I figured I could make it to the next town by sundown and maybe find a little work to get me to Central.”

“Why not just stay in East City?”

“Ah, you know how it is.  Big city people just aren’t that friendly.”

The old man laughed and Ed realized he had him.  All those years of traveling with Al had given them the ability to hitch a ride just about anywhere. 

“You’re heading all the way to Central?” the man asked.

Ed nodded. 

“I’m headed to a little town just outside of Central, but you give me a hand unloading the truck and I’ll drive you in once we’re done.  You can sleep in the bed with the hay,” he said as he nodded to the back of the truck.  “You look like you could use the sleep.”

Ed smiled.  “Thank you, sir.  It’s very kind of you.”

“You can come up here until its dark if you prefer.  Wouldn’t mind some company.”

Ed threw his case at his feet in the cab of the truck and smiled at the old man as he held out his hand. 

“Ed.”

“Samuel.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam.”

 

Hawkeye had just stopped in with a new stack of paperwork and a fresh cup of coffee – bless the woman – when the outer door of the office flew open in usual Elric fashion. 

“Is he here?”

Roy was out of his seat and in the doorway to the outer room before he realized he was moving.  Edward Elric liked to announce his presence but his brother Alphonse was far more likely to enter quietly.  That he had thrown the door open with such force was a proof of a troubled state of mind.

“Al?” Havoc called his name, catching the distress as readily as Roy had.

“Did Ed come here this morning?”

Roy felt a sense of misgiving but he couldn’t voice it.  “I spoke with him two nights ago in East City,” Roy assured him.  “He said it might take a day or two to finish up there before he returned.”  Roy didn’t add that with the way things had ended between them he’d expected Fullmetal to avoid the office for as long as possible.  Not that it would work with an active investigation, but no one could complain if he was extra thorough in East City and took a few days more.  Or if he went home to sleep and clean up before he showed up in the office.

“He called me yesterday to say he was taking the last train out of East City.  The train was delayed but when it came in, he wasn’t on it.”

“Why was the train delayed?” Roy asked.

He could see Havoc grab for the phone already and he knew he’d have an answer soon enough. 

“They said there was some trouble on the tracks,” Al said.  “I don’t know if they know anything else or just didn’t want to tell a civilian.”

Breda had another phone in hand but he stood as he called to the younger Elric.  “Alphonse, you need to explain this.”

Roy watched the moment pass between the two and Al finally nodded.  He had no idea what this was about but then Al turned to look at him.  “General, if I could speak to you in private?”

Roy motioned him into his office and was growing more concerned about both Elrics.  When the door was closed, Roy took a seat behind his desk, afraid he’d need as much emotional distance as he could muster for whatever was about to happen.

“Can you think of any reason my brother wouldn’t have come straight to Central even after he called me?” Al asked.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Roy said.  He steepled his fingers to give himself the appearance of control that he was already starting to feel slip.

“I mean that when I spoke to my brother yesterday something was bothering him but he wouldn’t talk to me about that.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Al.”

“The only time he won’t talk to me is when it comes to you, Roy.”

The fact that he called him by his first name was all too telling about their current situation.  It was only when they were alone that he called him Roy and even then, it was only when he wanted to discuss personal matters.  Which meant Al, as always, knew far more than Roy was comfortable with.

“As far as I know, he was still planning to come back to Central as soon as he finished the investigation.”

“But something did happen between the two of you.”

Roy sighed.  He hadn’t slept well the last two nights, after his call with Ed, and he wasn’t ready for this confrontation.  “Nothing has ever happened between the two of us, Alphonse,” he said quietly.

When he looked up, he realized that he had just given Al the confirmation that he needed. 

“I was there, Roy,” he said just as softly.  “It was years ago at the train station.  Ed got married, but nothing really changed between the two of you.  What was there back then, it’s still there.  It’s why Ed is in Central City working for the military instead of with his wife in Resembool.”

“Al,” he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.  He knew Al had been there that day, but he had never realized he had seen the moment between himself and Ed.  A moment that Roy had regretted for years.  He’d pulled away from Ed because he’d heard Winry calling to him, but what if he hadn’t?  What if he’d leaned in and closed the distance between them, as he’d intended? 

After Ed had brought it up so unexpectedly the other night, Roy hadn’t been able to think of much else.

“I need to know.  What happened with my brother the other night?”

“Nothing,” Roy said again.  “Al, your brother is a married man.”

“And you’re in love with him.”

Roy didn’t argue.

“And he’s in love with you.”

He closed his eyes because he had never said the words, neither had Ed, but he knew it all the same.  There was no recrimination in Al’s voice, just the blatant truth.

“What happened?”

“We don’t talk about it,” Roy said softly.  “After all these years, it came up.”

“Do you think it would have kept him from coming back to Central?”

“No, of course not.  He might have taken as long as possible to report to the office, but he wouldn’t worry you like that.  If he called you and said that he was coming to Central, no matter what happened between us, he would be here.”

“That’s what I thought but, Roy, he sounded really bad when I talked to him yesterday.”

Roy nodded because he could imagine but he didn’t want to worry Al.  “What was Breda speaking of?” he asked to try to get control of the conversation. 

“The list of people that Tanner had of the people he was going to kill.  It turns out that after we did our research there is only one name on the list that is still alive.”

“What?”

“We just finished tracking down everyone on the list yesterday and realized that there was only one target left.”

“And?”  The look on Al’s face made his stomach drop and he had to take a deep breath to keep his voice clear as he spoke.  “Ed.”

Al nodded but Roy ignored the young man in front of him as he hurried out to the outer office. 

“What do we know?”

“Sir,” Havoc said.  “Apparently, the train was delayed because part of the track had been pulled up.  Someone used alchemy to rip part of it from the ground to hold on to two men, one of whom was armed.  They also used the wooden slats to create boxes around their heads.  The officer in charge believes it was done to muffle the man’s voice when it happened.  A single gunshot was heard but there’s been no sign of anyone being injured.”

“The police are also looking into a break in at a hotel yesterday,” Breda spoke up.  “It was the hotel Ed was staying at.  It seems like it happened after Ed checked out, but I’m having them check to see if anything happened in the room Ed was staying in.  We’re trying to track him down from there.”

“The man selling tickets recognized Ed’s description on the train tracks,” Havoc added.  “He was there at the platform but we don’t know where he went from there.”

“Sir,” Hawkeye called for his attention then.  “There hasn’t been any sign of him at the stations closest to that location.”

“Ed wouldn’t have gone to the next station,” Roy said, aloud.  “It would be too easy for someone to track him that way.”

“He’d have hitchhiked,” Al answered.  “It’s the only way to make an unpredictable entry into Central.  And we believe that Tanner is using the Central City train depot to find victims.  He would try to find another way into the city if he thought Tanner was following him.”

Roy was trying to think of his next move when the door behind them was thrown open.  They all turned and Roy was held motionless, speechless, as Ed walked into the room.  He was dirty and sweaty and beat up, but he walked in like nothing had happened. 

“Brother!” Al had Ed wrapped up in his arms immediately and Ed looked back at Roy in surprise.

“Um, Al?”

“Where have you been?” Al yelled as he let go of his brother.  “I was worried!  What happened at the train station?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Ed said with a cocky grin. 

Roy wanted to snap the smile off his damn face but Al’s temper had been barely held together and the grin seemed to be the last straw for his brother.

“God damn it, Ed!  It was Tanner, wasn’t it?  He’s after you!”

“Yeah, Tanner saw me at the train station.  I was going to try to get to him, but he was there with a couple guys and I knew I couldn’t do anything while they were in the middle of a crowd.”

“Ed, there’s blood,” Fuery said as he pointed to Ed’s sleeve.

“It’s nothing.  Just a graze.  One of the guys had a gun.  Which is why I didn’t stick around.”  He turned to look at Roy and though his eyes were guarded he didn’t hesitate to speak about the case.  “I think Tanner is using alchemy in some way to hold people while he’s strangling them, to make it look like they’re dying in their sleep.”

“And he’s killing the ones he can’t make look like natural deaths,” Roy figured out. 

“And you thought you’d just run off and go after him, Ed?” Al was berating Ed again.

“What am I supposed to do, Al?  We don’t know how many people he’s killed and who is next!”

“You are!” Al yelled.  “Damn it, Ed, you are.  You were on his list.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ed demanded.

“Because you’d have run off to make yourself bait!”

“Better me than someone else.”

“Why do you want to die?!” Al screamed.

Ed was stunned into silence and Roy felt equally frozen by the helpless look Ed shot him.  “Al…”

“No!  You know what he was doing.  You know what he was using to target people.  Tanner thinks you want to die and he’s trying to kill you so you don’t have to do it yourself!”

“What?” Roy couldn’t help the surprise that colored his words.  He hadn’t had a chance to look at the research himself and when asked about it, Breda had told Mustang that he didn’t understand and it was best if Ed or Al explained it when they made their way into the office.

Now, Roy wished he’d asked either of the brothers before.

“Al, it’s not-” 

Whatever he’d been about to say had been silenced by the look his brother gave him.  When Al looked at Roy his eyes simmered with anger.  “He calls himself the Merciful Alchemist because he believes he’s making mercy kills.  He’s using an array to detect people who want to die.”

“You can’t use alchemy that way,” Roy denied.

“Most of our alchemy has been focused on military or construction applications,” Al said.  “The Xingese are so much farther ahead than us in healing with their alchehestry and they use it to try to help people who are having emotional trouble.  I think Merciful is using alchemy in a similar way.  There is no way he could tell if someone wanted to die, but he can tell people who need help.”

“There is nothing wrong with me,” Ed said to Al, rubbing unconsciously at the chest plate of his automail.

Al ignored him.  “I’m taking my brother home to have a very long discussion,” he said to Roy and there was no doubt just what this conversation was going to be about.  “Who are you sending?”

Because Al knew he couldn’t let both of them walk out without someone to keep an eye on them.  At least Al was sensible in his anger.  When Roy looked back at Ed, the other man looked away and refused to meet his eyes. 

“I’ll have two plain clothed soldiers sent to keep a discrete eye out for both of you,” Mustang said.  He heard Hawkeye pick up a phone behind him and knew that she was already taking care of it.  “Havoc.  Fuery.  Drive them home.  Check the apartment before they go in and make sure it’s safe.  Al, if anything looks out of place come back.  We’ll find you a place in the barracks if we need to.”

“I’ll take care of him, General.”

“Hey!” Al pushed Ed towards the door as Havoc and Fuery followed.  “I can take care of myself!”

They were all out the door but Ed paused as he was closing the door.  He looked at Roy and he had no idea what Ed saw there, but it put concern on his face.  He mouthed “Later” to Roy and then he pulled the door closed behind him.

“Sir?” Hawkeye stepped in front of him and he took his attention away from the door.   “Major Armstrong is sending two of his people.  He’ll keep them on rotation with 24 hour surveillance until we’re sure Ed is no longer a target.”

“Thank you.”

He looked up at Breda then and nodded towards his office.  It was obvious the man knew more than he’d reported and Roy had no desire for more surprises.  “If you would,” he said.  There was an edge to his voice and he watched Breda flinch slightly.  At least he had the intelligence to recognize he was in serious trouble with his boss. 

He looked at Hawkeye and she nodded at him.  “When Fuery gets back, send him in as well.”

 

 

It was the last place he wanted to be tonight, but Ed knew he didn’t have a choice really.  He needed to talk to Mustang when they weren’t at the office.  His brother had been pretty brutal that afternoon but he’d left Ed to lick his wounds as they’d continued to work on the research they had in their apartment. 

Al spoke to the office a few times over the course of the day and Ed couldn’t help but notice that every time he spoke with Mustang there was a change in the tone of their relationship.  It was his fault, he knew that.  He didn’t know how to fix it though.  Al made it more than clear that he didn’t blame Mustang for what was between them, but he wasn’t happy about it either. 

Al had made him call for a car from the military instead of letting him walk on his own.  Luckily, it was just Fuery, who’d left him with a reminder to call when he needed a ride home from the General’s house. 

He knocked and let out a deep breath as he waited for the General to open up.  He rubbed his thumb over the charm on his automail but dropped his hand when he heard someone unlocking the door. 

“You shouldn’t just open up like that,” Ed said.  “I could have been anybody.”

“Al called to say you were on the way over,” Mustang said as he looked at Ed.  “Come in.”

He stepped back but Ed saw that Mustang pulled the glove off his hand and stuck it in his tee shirt pocket.  At least he’d taken that precaution.

Mustang walked down the hallway to the front room and Ed felt himself relax just being there.  It’d been six years since he’d shown up at Mustang’s house and demanded a place to stay for him and Al, but there was still such a sense of home that he couldn’t fight his instinctive feeling of safety there. 

Mustang went straight to the couch and sat back, taking his half full glass from the side table.

“How many have you had?” Ed asked softly.  The fire was still full in the fireplace and he took a seat at the other end of the couch.  He didn’t want to be too close to Mustang for this conversation but he couldn’t make himself sit further away.  This Mustang, in his loose sleep pants and tee shirt, was the most casual, the one that few ever got to see. 

“One.  I’m in the middle of a murder investigation and one of my subordinates is the next target.  I’m not going to drink myself into oblivion.  No matter how good the idea sounds at the moment.”

Ed flinched as he watched Mustang finish the glass in one long drink though.  He stared at the empty cup for a moment, and then put it on the table.

“Why are you here, Ed?”

He didn’t look at Ed, but kept his eyes on the fire.  It said something about how worried Mustang was that he was getting straight to it, instead of drawing it out. 

“It’s not like Al made it sound.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.  Look, my life is… complicated.  And I did that to myself.  I made the choices that made this what it is, but I don’t hate my life.  I don’t want to die.”

“What do you want, Ed?”

Ed stared down at his hands and thought of all the things he could say.  Instead, he settled for the truth that he was able to give.  “I want to be here.”  It was the most he could say.  Let Mustang take it however he wanted.  It was true, no matter what version he read from it; here with Mustang, here in this house, here in Central, here in the military.  Ed was where he wanted to be.  That wasn’t the trouble.   

He felt Mustang’s eyes on him and then the man stood.  He offered Ed a hand up and he took it, looking up uncertainly.  Mustang had turned as soon as Ed took his hand though.  He curled his fingers around Ed’s and led him back through the house to the stairs.

Ed had no idea what was in Mustang’s head tonight.  It wasn’t what it looked like though.  As many times as Ed had dreamed of being led to Mustang’s bed, the man would never be with him while Winry was waiting back in Resembool. 

Ed didn’t say anything as Mustang led him to the bed and sat him on it.  He left the room then and Ed could hear water running in the adjoining bathroom.  When Mustang came back in he had a bowl of water and a first aid kit. 

“You didn’t let Al tend to you, did you?”

Ed was about to tell him Al had given him a stern lecture about relationships and then they’d started researching instead but then Mustang pushed his jacket off his shoulders and Ed just closed his eyes.  Fingers deftly undid the buttons of his shirt and it was pushed away as well with a sharp intake of breath. 

“This has to hurt, Ed.”

He felt Mustang’s fingers over what were sure to be some pretty heavy bruises on his left side.  “I’ve had worse.”

Mustang let out a small snort of laughter.  The water on the wash cloth was warm and Ed relaxed as Mustang wiped at his bruises.

“Not as bad as I thought, once you get rid of all the dirt,” Mustang teased.

“Yeah, well, I slept in the back of a hay truck last night and had to help unload it to the military horse ranch outside of Central.”

“That would explain a lot,” Mustang said softly.   He started to wipe across Ed’s chest but then he stopped.  Ed felt the fingers that brushed across the chest plate of his automail and he remembered the charm he’d embedded there.  He’d gotten so used to it in the last few months he almost forgot it was there.  Well, no.  He touched it all the time, whenever things got too dark.  When he needed the thought of Mustang to get him through the day.  He just forgot that Mustang hadn’t seen it before.

“Ed.”

“I didn’t want to lose it,” was all he said.

He couldn’t make out the expression on the other man’s face but after a moment he went back to wiping across Ed’s chest.  He stopped to wring out the cloth a few times but they didn’t speak after that.  When he seemed happy with his work, he moved to Ed’s left arm where the bullet had grazed him. 

When his wounds had been thoroughly cleaned Mustang began to bandage him up.  His hands moved surely over his body.  Ed couldn’t help the way his breath caught whenever his fingers moved a little too gently against his skin. 

He was so damn tired of fighting this and when Mustang pushed him onto his back he let him.  He didn’t even look up as he felt fingers at his belt.  His boots and socks were removed, and then Mustang undid his pants and pulled them down his legs.  He was left with nothing but his boxers but he didn’t feel vulnerable where he was.

“Ed,” Mustang finally broke the silence.  Ed opened his eyes to see that Mustang had pulled the blankets back.  Before Ed could say anything, he left the room.

Ed let out a deep breath and pulled himself up the bed and under the covers.  He shouldn’t.  If it were anyone else, with this between them, Ed knew exactly what would happen next.  If it were anyone else, he’d come back in the room and take advantage of Ed’s vulnerability and consummate this thing that they’d been playing at for so long.

And Ed, after all this time, didn’t know how to say no to this. 

It wasn’t anyone else though.  Ed had no idea what would happen when he returned.  And Ed knew he would. He pulled the blankets up to this shoulder, his back to the door, and took a deep breath.  The bed smelled of Mustang, of smoke and brandy, of ink and paper and underneath that was something that he couldn’t name.

Mustang came back a few minutes later and closed the door, leaving them in darkness.  “I called Al to let him know you were staying tonight,” he said quietly, though there was a tension in his voice that made Ed think the call with Al hadn’t been as simple as that. 

He heard the soft rustle of fabric and went still when he felt Mustang on the bed behind him.  A moment later, Mustang’s bare chest was pressed against his back.  He felt the soft fabric of his loose pajama pants tucked behind Ed’s knees.  His hand rested for a moment against Ed’s heart but then he moved and set the palm of his hand over the charm Ed had embedded in his chest plate.  He kept it there a moment before he pressed his hand tighter over it, then began to run his fingers slowly back and forth across Ed’s chest.  Ed’s breath caught in his throat as Mustang’s hand trickled lower, tracing across the waistband of his boxers from hip to hip.  He couldn’t help the way his body shifted ever so slightly with each movement Roy made. 

Roy’s nose was pressed behind Ed’s ear and his warm breath caressed Ed’s neck.  Roy turned his palm against Ed’s stomach and pushed him closer and Ed could feel the hard length of him.  He arched into the older man’s body and felt the trail of lips across his right shoulder where it met with his automail.

Ed swallowed against the lump in his throat but Roy held him close, so close he couldn’t move and after a moment the lips pulled away from his skin and he could feel Roy’s forehead against his shoulder.  Then Roy pulled back so there was a small space between them.

As the minutes continued to pass by, the silence remained but Ed felt his heart slow and the events of the last few days caught up with him.  He wanted so much; to damn Roy for stopping when he did, to thank him for it, to stay awake and feel this safe, to sleep knowing he wouldn’t have nightmares tonight. 

He felt Mustang pull away again, to lie back onto his back but as he did, he gripped Ed’s hip and pulled him.  Ed turned over and settled himself so that he was lying with his head on Roy’s shoulder, his nose pressed to his neck.  The other man’s arms wrapped around him tightly and Ed sighed.

“Sleep, Ed.”

Ed threw his leg over Roy’s to get more comfortable and heard the small huff of laughter.  If it was touched with bitter sorrow Ed refused to acknowledge it.  Roy’s hand dropped to Ed’s waist and stayed there while the other began to run up and down his back.  He stopped after a moment and pulled Ed’s ponytail out then began to stroke Ed’s hair.

He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes.  He’d always been wrong.  He’d always thought that Roy’s house was the safest place to be, but now he knew better.  It had nothing to do with the house.  The safest place Ed had ever been was right here, in Roy’s arms.          

He was on the edge of sleep when he felt the press of lips against his forehead.  “Ed, you can’t do this to me again,” Roy whispered.  “You can’t leave me.  I can make do with the phone calls and seeing you in the office.  I can continue to live for your goddamned letters.  But when I thought he had you … when I thought you weren’t coming home today?  I wouldn’t survive it, Fullmetal.  You have to come home to Winry.  Having the chance to hold you this one night, that would be enough.  Just so long as you come home at the end of the day, that would be enough.”

He knew he wasn’t supposed to hear the confession so he kept still and just focused on the other man’s breathing.  He didn’t know how long he lay there, but he knew he wasn’t the only one awake.  Even with the lost hours though, when he woke it was still the best night’s sleep he’d had in years.     

 

 

Roy didn’t wake up refreshed.  To wake up, he’d have to sleep and the last thing he wanted to do, the one night he would be allowed to hold Ed in his arms, was to pass it by with sleep.  He already regretted the many things he wasn’t able to do, but he’d meant his whispered words the night before. 

So long as Ed came home, this was enough.  To have held him in his arms one night was enough. 

Long after Ed had fallen asleep, Roy had let his fingers run through his beautiful hair.  Ed was practical with it and usually wore it tied back away from his face but Roy had always wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it, so he’d indulged.  Ed seemed to have liked it while he was one the verge of sleep so he took it as permission to continue.

He didn’t know how many kisses he had pressed to the top of his head, nor had he allowed himself to count the quick press of lips that had been pressed to his neck with a murmured “Roy”.  It filled his heart to hear his name on Ed’s tongue like that, sleepy and so full of trust, but it was double edged.  It just reminded Roy of how good they could have been together, if things had turned out differently.

As the night skies had given way to the morning sun, Roy watched the horizon turn the first golden shade and thought how perfectly it looked against Ed’s skin.  He thought, with an ache in his heart, about the small charm he’d bought in Xing that had now found a way into Ed’s automail      

In his sleep Ed had sprawled over him even further, but he’d kept his nose buried in Roy’s neck.  His hair was spread across Roy’s chest and he never wanted to move.

But temptation was too close a thing.  He had played far too much of that line the night before.  He had thought he could lie in bed with Ed and not feel the need to touch him, but he wasn’t a saint.  He had only wanted to reassure himself with the feel of Ed’s heartbeat.  He hadn’t been able to stop there though.  He’d run his hands across Ed’s chest, down his torso, and teased for entirely too long across the expanse of his abdomen.  And when he’d started to gain control of himself, to make himself stop long enough to remember who he was, he’d pulled Ed against him and the young man had arched so perfectly. 

Ed fit his body so flawlessly that Roy had been unable to think for a moment.  He’d let his lips taste across his shoulder to the edge of cool metal.  That had finally brought him back to himself again and away from the dangerous pit he’d been about to leap into.

Ed would never have blamed him, if he had touched him last night.  Roy didn’t think Ed would have blamed him if he’d made love to him either.  But Ed would never forgive himself for it.

Roy walked a very fine line and it was Ed’s conscience that led him.

Now, the temptation was to lean down and kiss Ed awake, to taste his lips and see if they were as delicious as the small taste of skin he’d had last night.  He didn’t even think Ed would really feel guilty over it if Roy did, but Roy had his limits and he knew them well.

A single kiss would steal his resolution and he would fall so far from his own moral grounds that he would never look back. 

Instead, Roy carefully extricated himself from the sleeping man and slipped into the bathroom to shower.  The morning ablutions steadied him and when he finished he dressed quickly.  He made two quick phone calls and then made breakfast.

Ed still wasn’t down, so Roy went back up to his room and found his bed empty.  He had a moment of panic before he heard the shower running.  He knocked on the door and yelled, “Breakfast is ready.”

Roy went back down and stood by the bay window overlooking his back garden. He refused the padded seat that lined the window, but kept his vigilance as he sipped a cup of tea to try to still his thoughts.  He wasn’t there long before he heard Ed moving around in the kitchen.  To his surprise, Ed came out and sat in the window seat right in front of him, leaning back against him as he sipped his own tea.  Roy closed his eyes, but didn’t say anything.  Instead, he gripped his tea with one hand and let the other begin to stroke through Ed’s hair again.  The young man turned his face into Roy’s stomach and simply rested there.  The storm was still coming but here, in the eye of the hurricane, there was quiet.  For a moment. 

“Did you sleep well?” Roy finally managed to ask, though his voice sounded as though it had been ridden rough over gravel.       

“Yeah,” Ed answered quietly.  “I almost forgot what it was like, to sleep a night through without the nightmares.”

“Glad I could be of assistance.”

There was a knock at the door and Ed tensed.  “My ride,” Roy explained, “and your brother.  I asked Al over to have breakfast with you since I need to head to the office.”

“You aren’t staying with us?”

Roy let out a deep breath.  “I think, all things considered, the less time I spend in a room with Alphonse at the moment, the better.”

He backed away then and ignored the question in Fullmetal’s eyes.  When he got to the door Al smiled carefully at him.  “He’s in the front.  I took the liberty of making some breakfast for the two of you, but feel free to eat anything you like.  I’m sure you remember where everything is?”

Al smiled at the reminder of the month they’d spent living under the General’s roof all those years ago.

“Roy, is he okay?”

Roy sighed, but the use of his name felt like  truce.  “He’s bruised on the left side and a bullet grazed his left arm so I tended that last night.  He slept without nightmares, he said.”  He understood the implication in his words, that Roy hadn’t been with him the whole night, but so long as he didn’t actually lie he could live with himself.  He wasn’t sure his relationship with Alphonse would survive any more of the truth.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I had more important things to do.”

“Like what?” Al asked.

“Protecting him,” he said softly.  “And I have to go or Fuery and I will both be late to the office and Hawkeye will kill me.”

Al nodded.  “Thank you.  For taking care of him.”

“You need only ask, either of you.”

“Hey Al!  Are you coming to eat, or what?” Ed yelled through the house. 

Roy let out a huff of a laugh and Alphonse did the same. 

“See you soon, General.”

As he walked in, Roy walked away from the house, from his home, and towards what was sure to be another long day.

 

 

When breakfast was over Ed did his best to keep talking so his brother didn’t have time to ask why he’d spent the night with Mustang. 

It was just a stop gag. He knew that. Eventually Al would ask and Ed had no idea what he would say. How could he explain the lie he’d been telling himself for the past 7 years?  He couldn’t explain to Al the truth he’d admitted and how much he’d needed to be near Mustang after the painful revelation. He hadn’t known himself when he’d gone over last night.  Of course, it was just like Mustang to understand.

But it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with his brother, especially after their rather frank discussion the day before. Al had called him all kinds of a fool and Ed couldn't disagree.  He'd lectured him about Winry and what Ed was doing to their marriage.  He'd lectured him about his feelings for Mustang as well.  It wasn't like Ed thought his brother was stupid or misunderstood things, but he'd thought he'd hidden his feelings for Mustang better than that. Which earned him another bout of yelling where Al reminded him that they'd practically been bound at the hip since they were babies and it had only gotten worse when Al was a suit of armor. He knew just how to read Ed and he'd gotten pretty good at reading the General over the years as well. 

Instead of letting his brother have something new to yell about, no matter how much Ed deserved it, he waited until Al started to clean up the breakfast dishes before he told his brother he was going to call Winry.

Al scowled but Ed ignored him and made his way to the hall.  He dialed the number and was put through to the house right away. Winry tended more to late nights in the workshop than early mornings so unless she had a special client she'd still be in the house.

Someone picked up the other end of the line and Ed only had to wait a moment before he heard his wife's voice.

"Rockbell-Elric Residence," she said.

"Hey Winry."

"Ed?  What's wrong? "

"Nothing’s wrong.   Why would something be wrong?"

"You never call me in the morning.  So what happened?"

Ed sighed.  "Nothing. I just didn't want you to worry about me."

"Ed, where are you?"

"I'm in Central.  Al and I just had breakfast at Mustang’s and we’re getting ready to head in to the office."

"Am I likely to hear something to worry about on the radio today?" she asked with a sigh. 

He was an ass for making her worry.  He was a bigger ass for calling her from Mustang's phone but he needed to make sure she didn't hear about the trouble in East City.  If she heard about trouble, she always assumed it was him.  "I ran into a little trouble in East City. I'm a little bruised but nothing bad. I didn't even need to go to the hospital."

"Did Al take a look at you?"

"What?  No. I said I'm fine," he said, his hand coming up to rub against his chest plate. 

"Ugh, you're the worst at getting help.  Put Al on the phone so I can get him to look at you. "

"Winry, I'm fine. Really,” he paused.  “Mustang took care of it last night."  He sighed softly and hoped she didn't hear. 

This was ridiculous.   He was in Mustang’s house, calling from his phone, after a night when Ed would have made a lie of his wedding vows if Mustang weren't the man he was.  He wasn't fine. He didn't know what he was going to do but this had been going on for 7 years now and he couldn’t keep doing it.  Last night showed just how messed up he was.  

"At least I'll know to thank him next time I talk to him."

It made him feel even worse, the reminder that Winry and Mustang were on close terms.  That it was their relationship that let him go back and forth without losing either of them.

"When I finish this investigation I'm going to come home for a while," he reassured her.

"Ed, now I'm really starting to get worried.  You were just home.  I thought you were going to go crazy being here for three weeks."

"I just want to spend some time with my wife. What's wrong with that?  Maybe we could take a short trip somewhere?" He suggested.

"Ed!" she shouted so loud on the phone that he had to pull the receiver away from his ear.  He heard a scuffle on the other end and it took a second to realize something was going wrong.

"Winry?"

“I’m afraid your wife is preoccupied, Ed.  I should introduce myself.  I'm Shaun Tanner, the Merciful Alchemist. "

“What the hell are you doing with Winry?”

“She’s safe, for now.  Do you know what I’m doing, Fullmetal Alchemist?” he asked.  “The work I’m doing?”

“You think I want to die.  I hate to tell you, but you’re wrong.”

The man on the other end laughed.  “I have no doubt you believe that right now.  However, I’ve been watching you for a long time.”

“Then you know that Winry has nothing to do with whatever you want.  Just leave her alone.”

“What I do with her fully depends on you, Fullmetal.”

“What do you mean?”

“It depends on how fast you can get to Resembool and if you come alone.”  Ed was already calculating when the next train would leave.  He had just enough time to get the next one if he left now.

“I’ll see you soon, Ed Elric.  We’ll be waiting for you in Resembool.  Your wife is anxious for your return.”

The phone line died on the other end and Ed hung up the phone.  If he ran, he could make it in time.  If he told Al, his brother would try to stop him or he’d tag along.  He couldn’t have that.  Ed was willing to take a lot of risks with his own life, but not with Winry’s. 

He didn’t look back.  He didn’t say anything to his brother.  He just ran.

 

  
Ed made the train with bare moments to spare and he rushed in to find a seat.  Thankfully, he’d already been ready to leave for work when he’d gone to make the phone call to Winry.  He wasn’t sure the hunt for his boots wouldn’t have cost him his ticket today.

Al probably heard him slam out the door and it wouldn’t take him long to figure out something had happened to Winry.  Al would call Mustang at the office and then they’d all follow.  He just had to get there before that happened to make sure Winry was protected before all Hell broke loose.  He deserved whatever the Merciful Bastard wanted to give him, but Winry didn’t deserve any of it. 

It was all he could think about on the train ride.  Winry didn’t deserve any of this.  He didn’t even know how much she knew.  Was she aware of just how far from his vows Ed had fallen?  Had she always been aware that his heart had been torn?  Or had she believed everything he told her, trusting him to speak if something was wrong?

He didn’t want to believe it.  There were too many nights, too many comments about Mustang and his travels, too many times when she could have called him out on his ambiguous answers.  She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t careless.  Winry had chosen to ignore what she saw and Ed had always been too much of a coward to find out why. 

Ed shifted in his seat and pressed his thumb to his chest plate and took a deep breath.  Ed knew what he feared.  It was the same fear that had driven him to propose in the first place.  The same fear that made him say ‘I do’ when the person he loved the most wasn’t the one standing next to him.  And even if he’d never admitted it, even to himself, before, he had to now.  Winry was in danger because of his fucked up life and she deserved the truth at least.  Ed was in love with Roy, in ways he had never loved her.  That didn’t mean he didn’t love Winry, or that the affection between them wasn’t real, but he had never felt real passion with her.  And they both knew it.

Just the memory of Roy’s hands in his hair from that morning brought his heart racing in ways no love making with Winry ever had.  He didn’t blame her, or himself really.  He loved whom he loved.  What he blamed himself for was letting her think that she was the one that kept him grounded and driven. 

Now, he just had to keep her safe.  He would take her on the trip he was speaking to her of, and he would tell her everything.  Everything he felt.  Everything he wanted.  And maybe she would hate him.  Or maybe she would still want to make things work.  And if she did, he would do his best to make her happy.  He’d leave the military.  He’d leave Central.  And he’d leave Mustang.

With only their letters to keep him going, as they so often had in the past.

Ed’s thoughts turned back to his immediate problem as the train slowed in front of the Resembool station.  He didn’t know how he’d find Merciful, but he had no doubt the other man had thought that through already.

When he stepped off the train he watched the crowd.  He was thankful that there was no one he knew at the station today.  Who knew what sort of trouble that might cause. 

As he began to walk around the platform, he noticed two men standing between buildings.  They were lounging there, easy enough in their surroundings, but one was swinging a chain necklace with a simple ring that dangled from it.  When Ed made eye contact the guy held it still for Ed to see.

He knew it.  Winry wore the ring on a chain when she was working in her shop.  It was a simple ring, nothing fancy like she deserved, but she’d said it suited her best that way.  Ed had transmuted it from an old piece of Al’s armor and a broken piece of his automail.  Her wedding ring, with the word ALWAYS engraved on the underside as a promise that he would always return to her, no matter where the road took him or how long he was gone.

When the guy motioned with his head, Ed followed without trying to leave a trace.  He had to get his wife back.  Even if it took his life, he would see her safe.

 

 

“I can’t believe he’d do something so stupid!”

Roy took a deep breath as the car sped towards the train station.  They wouldn’t make it before the train but hopefully any clues Ed could find a way to leave behind would remain unmolested if they got there quickly.

“Alphonse, if he was worried about Winry-” Breda tried to placate the man.

“He’s not stupid!  He has to know we’d follow.”

“Yes,” Roy agreed.  He’d been thinking about it the entire trip.  Why had Ed run out without waiting for the team?  There was only one thing he could accept.  “I believe Ed actually spoke with the Merciful Alchemist.”

“What?”

“If he believed that Winry was in danger, Ed would have rushed off but not before letting us know what had happened.  I think Merciful told him to come alone.  Ed knew that Al would find out he’d left within minutes and he knew that Al was calling Winry.  Ed was counting on us to follow.”

“How can you be so sure?” Havoc asked from the driver’s seat.

“Because if Ed didn’t want to be followed, he wouldn’t have braided his hair on the way.  Even without his old red jacket, the braid and his eyes make him very recognizable as the Fullmetal Alchemist, especially in Central where he’s well known at the depot.  He didn’t try to disguise himself and went out of the way to make himself identifiable.”

“General?” Hawkeye asked from the other side of Al.  It was a tight fit in the car, but Fuery and Falman were following with the two soldiers Ed had knocked out to keep them from following him. 

“We’ll have to play it by ear.  I’ll go to the counter and see if Ed was seen getting off the train.  Everyone else, pair up and see if you can find anything.  Start with the train he was on and move out from there.”

There was little else to say and other than Alphonse occasionally breaking the silence with his grumblings about his brother, the ride went smoothly. 

When they arrived, Breda took Alphonse off and Hawkeye and Havoc began their search.  Roy took a moment to send the others off.  Fuery and Falman each took on of the Armstrong’s men with them while Roy made his way to the counter.  

He was almost there when something caught his attention at the back corner of the building.  He nearly cursed at the face that smirked at him, but then he saw that the man had something dangling in his right hand.  It was just a trinket really, a serpent taming the flames, that had reminded Roy of Ed, but it meant something to them both.  Ed had transmuted it into the shoulder plate of his automail.  Ed was the only one who would have known what it meant.  He was the only one who would have been able to remove the delicate twist of flame and serpent without damaging it. 

Roy knew then this was how they’d taken Ed as well.  Because there was no way Roy was going to endanger Winry or Ed by bringing attention to what was happening.  Not when he knew the man with the charm in his hand.

He followed when the man went around the corner, aware enough that the orders he’d given his men meant they’d take a few minutes before realizing that he’d disappeared.

“If we don’t speed this along, my colleagues will be looking for me,” he said as he turned the corner of the building to glare at General Ackerman and the two henchmen with him. 

“He said you’d come if I showed you this.  I thought he was lying but apparently you’re as pathetic as I always thought.”

“If you’ve hurt Fullmetal or his wife-”

“No need to worry, General.  Tanner is waiting for you to finish this,” Ackerman said as he began to walk. “Your gloves?” he held his hand out and Roy pulled them off without hesitation.  He had made a point to keep his ability to transmute without a circle as quiet as he could after the Promised Day.  It might be paying off today. 

A new train pulled up to the station and Roy was grateful it would take his people a few more minutes to realize he was gone.  It also gave him the chance he needed. 

The two men with Ackerman walked at Roy’s side, who was a step behind Ackerman.  When the train’s whistle sounded, Roy put his hands behind his back and snapped.  It was quick, a pull of flame from the engines and a quick scorch of the ground behind them.  It wasn’t much, not even enough to make the men he was with smell the burning of grass over the stink of the train’s engines, but his team would find it. 

He was able to snap a total of six times before they reached a car on the side of the road leading away from the train station.  When he reached the car Ackerman smiled.  “I would ask you to continue to cooperate, but you have a habit of turning circumstances to your advantage.”  He nodded to one of the men and Roy turned just in time to get hit with something metal.  He fell to the ground and the world blacked out. 

 

 

Roy woke to the ache of muscles that he knew too well.  This wasn’t the first time he’s been taken by an enemy, nor was it the first time he’d woken chained to the ceiling by his arms.  Without his gloves, he’d been helpless the first time.  This time, Roy could still do alchemy but not before he knew what was happening.   He had faith that Hawkeye would find his marks and that Alphonse would keep on the hunt far after anyone else would quit.   Not that Roy’s team would quit either, but there was a fierceness to the younger Elric that few had seen. 

He groaned as he found his footing and opened his eyes.  He felt pain stab through his shoulders and chest.  There were aches in places that hanging from the ceiling shouldn’t leave and he figured he’d been on the receiving end of a beating before he’d been tied up.  He tasted blood in his mouth and that was never a good sign. 

“Mustang?”

He looked up and found himself in a large room.   It could have been a small warehouse office or maybe a basement somewhere.  His vision wasn’t entirely clear which meant he might have a concussion. Somewhere behind him, he could hear the faint flicker of flames.  Stupid.  In the center of the room, Ed knelt in the middle of a circle, bound.  Winry was on the opposite side of Roy, tied to a chair.

“Ed?  Winry?”

“I’m fine, Bastard.”

Winry hadn’t answered and Roy looked but couldn’t see anything wrong with her.  “Winry?  Are you okay?”

She looked up at him then, her blue eyes filled with tears.  She was such a sweet woman, so warm and caring and Roy was filled with absolute hate for Ackerman and whoever else was a part of this. 

“It’s going to be okay, Winry,” he tried to reassure her. 

“What happened to you, Mustang?” Ed asked.  “I gave them the charm so you’d come peacefully!  Why didn’t you just go with them?”

“I did, Ed,” he answered.  “They knocked me out when we got to the car but I didn’t fight them.”

“What the hell!”

“I’m afraid my colleague was rather excitable about General Mustang’s inclusion here today,” a man said as he stepped out of a dark doorway. 

“You said he wouldn’t be harmed!”

Another figure stepped out from behind him and Roy had to hold himself still.  He wanted nothing more than to snap his fingers and destroy the man, but he couldn’t.  Not yet.  He knew there were other people involved and he couldn’t protect Ed or Winry like this.  He needed to give his team more time to find them.

“I made no such promise,” Ackerman said as Ed saw him for the first time.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Perhaps you should listen more, like your General.  But then again, you are his dog, aren’t you?”  Ackerman looked over at Roy and smirked.  “Is he all bark, or does he bite?”

“Let him go and find out,” Roy suggested.

“Ah, so you don’t deny he is your dog.  I wonder what sort of treats you give him for good behavior?”

“Your metaphors were lame the first time you spoke them, Ackerman,” Roy said, trying to get the man’s attention on him.  He didn’t like the way he spoke about Ed and he was worried what he would do while Ed was tied up and unable to defend himself. 

“Ackerman, leave it,” the other man said. 

Ackerman backed off, but he smirked as he walked back towards Winry.  “I warned you, didn’t I?   A woman like you has no place between a dog and his Master.”

Winry didn’t say anything and Roy was worried about her, but he didn’t have time because the other man walked closer to Ed.

“Which is it, Fullmetal?” Tanner asked.  “I’ve watched you for years.  You were the only one to get away.  I had helped so many people by then.  Of course, you and Mustang caught me in East City, but there was so much to do still and I had friends who were able to help me.  Chasing after you, it’s been so very interesting.  I’ve been listening to your phone conversations with your beautiful wife.”

He looked up at Roy and he didn’t want to hear what the man had to say, but he had no way to stop this yet.  “Do you know how many times she’s asked him to write her?  How many times he’s lied to her and promised to try?”

The Merciful Alchemist looked at Winry and walked over until he stood right in front of her.  “Have you ever wondered?  Ever worried about where your husband spends the nights he isn’t with you?”

“Never,” the words were quiet but the steel was there beneath them and Roy felt a hint of relief at that.  “You can make whatever innuendos you want, but … Mustang would never-“

“She is such a smart woman,” he said with a shake of his head.   “Of course, _Mustang_ would never.  I have another question though.  Is the Fullmetal Alchemist happy with you, Winry?”

“What?”

“Your husband wants to die.  I’ve watched him for years and it’s come to me that this, right here, is the reason; this love triangle that he can’t seem to free himself from.”

“I do not want to die!” Ed yelled.

“The circle doesn’t lie.”

“What are you talking about?” Winry demanded.

“It’s simple, my dear.  A few years ago I created an array that would tell me when someone that crossed it wanted to die.  Poor, unstable individuals, that needed help to keep them from being a danger to others.”

“Like your father,” Roy put the motivation together finally.  Tanner’s father had killed his family before killing himself. 

“That isn’t Ed,” Winry demanded.

“I came to Resembool to speak with you, because I wanted to understand.  After years of trying to catch him, I found that I needed to understand why he wanted to die when he fought so hard to live.  It was a conundrum.  So I came to your workshop and you were such a dear.  There was doubt in your eyes though, when I asked about your husband and his past.  Even if I hadn’t found this letter, I would have questioned the stability of your marriage.”

“What letter?” she asked, confused.

“Leave Winry out of this, asshole!  If you want to know something about me, you ask me!”

The man ignored Ed as he smiled at Winry.  “Of course, the letter wasn’t written to you.  It was, in fact, left in the trash, never to be sent, but when my men went to find Ed Elric in East City and he had already left his room, they searched it and found this gem for me.”

Roy had no idea what was in the letter but the way Ed’s head had suddenly hung said he knew exactly what this was.  Roy didn’t want to hear it either.  Certainly not if it was a letter written to him _that_ night.

“Let Winry go, Ackerman!” Roy yelled at the other man.  He knew better.  He knew there was no hope that anyone would be freed but he needed to stop Tanner.

“Oh, I want to hear the rest of this, Mustang,” he said with a grin.  “Tanner here wants to understand which one of you is breaking the Fullmetal Alchemist.  I’ve found a rather perverse desire to learn the truth myself now.  When nothing else seemed to faze him, this is what breaks him?” he laughed. 

Tanner glared at the other man and Ackerman held his hands up, as in surrender, and backed up against the wall.

“I’m afraid the letter, my dear Winry,” Tanner said softly, “was written to General Mustang.  I’m afraid, in this very letter, your husband explains exactly why you have to die.”

Roy was ready to snap but there was a gun pointed at Ed and Ackerman was watching Roy, waiting for him so that he could pull the trigger.  Whatever Tanner wanted, Ackerman wanted them dead and he was waiting for an excuse. 

“I swear Tanner, if you hurt her-” Ed growled.

“The way you have?  What did you say here?” He pulled the letter up and twisted it to the back of the page.  Even from the distance Roy could see Ed’s handwriting.  The pages had been wadded up and wrinkled but he knew that handwriting. 

Tanner began to read.  “ _I wish I had been brave enough, on the train platform, to look close enough at my own heart to realize what I was throwing away.  I can never regret the life I have with Winry because it has been a good life, but I won’t lie and say that every night I lay with her, I am not filled with guilt because I would rather be with you.  I won’t lie and say that I didn’t move back to Central because I feared the longer I stayed with her, the more I feared she would figure out my darkest secret.  She does not deserve that betrayal.”_

“Stop it,” Ed pleaded.  “Just stop.  You sick fuck.  Just kill me already then.  You think I want to die, then put me out of my fucking misery and leave Winry alone.”

“I need you to understand something, Fullmetal.  I chased you for years to help you.  I chased you and then I got to know you.  I got to see who you were and I realized that maybe… just maybe … I didn’t have to kill you.  Maybe, I could save you!  Maybe, there was more than one way to use the array!”

“What are you talking about?” Ackerman said as he looked over at Tanner.

Ackerman was clearly not part of this change of heart and Roy braced himself for whatever happened because this might be the chance he needed.

“I can save you!  You couldn’t make the choice before and I understand that.  You’ve accepted it now though and it’s time.  Make the choice.”  He pulled a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at Winry.  Ackerman’s gun was raised to point at Roy then.  As much as Roy would have taken the chance on his own life, he couldn’t take a risk with Winry and Ed.

“Which one do you love, Edward Elric?”

“Don’t do this.”

“Which one?”

“I can’t do this,” Ed said, a pleading note in his voice.

“Ed, it’s alright,” Roy said.  “Tell him how much you love your wife and you can get free of this.”

Ed’s head dropped to the ground and Roy knew he understood exactly what he was saying.  He would never blame Ed for protecting Winry.  Hell, he wanted him too.  No matter what the outcome, Ed could move on then.

“Tell me the truth, Ed,” Tanner demanded.

“I love them both,” Ed said softly.  “I can’t choose.”

The paper crinkled again and Tanner sighed.  “Perhaps they need to hear it all, Ed Elric.  But I tried to live up to my name.”

“Don’t!”

“As I said before, my men found this in a hotel in East City.  It was right after I visited you in Resembool,” Merciful said to Winry.  “General Mustang had just returned from his journeys in Xing.”

“Please, don’t do this,” Ed begged.

It broke something in Mustang to hear Ed sound so desperate.  He almost snapped his fingers to light the damn letter on fire, but he couldn’t waste the element of surprise like that.  No matter how much it was killing him. 

“It’s rather moving,” Tanner said, then he turned to read the letter.

 

_“Dear Roy,_

_I don’t expect you’ll ever see this letter.  I never planned on writing you tonight, especially since I’ll see you in a few days but I find there are things that are easier to do on paper with you.  Our friendship hasn’t always been an easy one.  Forgive me for being honest but tonight I feel the need to be.   Even if it’s just between me and the ink._

_I feel as if the last 5 years I have lived between one inked page to the next.  Life comes and goes outside of it, but it’s when I’m reading your words that I feel whole again.  Is it shameless to admit that I’ve read your letters so often that I have them memorized?  Or that when I think of home, I lie to myself and say it is Central, when what I know is true is that it’s you?_

_I never wanted to write a confession but I don’t have a choice.  My head won’t stop circling around the phone call we just had, and though we just hung up, I want to call you again.  I want to admit the truth and stop running from it._

_And I have run.  I have been running for 8 years, since that day on the train platform.  Or perhaps from that night, in the very hotel I’m staying in tonight, where I brought you back to take care of your wounds from the same alchemist we are looking for now.  What would my life have been like, if I had been braver then?_

_It was the first time in my memory when you looked at me and I thought, perhaps, you could see me the way I saw you; not as a fellow soldier or a general and his subordinate.  Not as a friend, but as someone who could understand the long nights and the dark days, who could battle them by my side and not just sit and wait them out._

_It has been so long since I have had a night’s sleep without the torment of nightmares.  6 years, since Al and I lived in your house for a month and I fell asleep every night – for the first time since my mother died – and knew that there was someone protecting me._

_I don’t know how I managed to screw my life up so completely and yet be so grateful for what I have.  I love Winry.  She is a beautiful woman and the most patient wife a man could ask for.  She loves me, in spite of all my faults, and gives me more than she should.  Her time, her devotion, and her love are things I don’t deserve. Because I am not_ in _love with her.  I was too young to understand the difference when I proposed and too scared to admit it when we married._

_But I have long ago stopped lying to myself about how I feel, and tonight, I finally stopped running from the other truth I refused to admit._

_Because I love you, Bastard.  I love you and I am very much_ IN _love with you.  I have been for years.  You are so much more than you see in yourself.  You are handsome and charismatic, which you already know, but you are a true gentleman.  You see beauty in nature where I only see the ingredients to my next transmutation.  You notice what makes people happy and what turns their worlds upside down.  You are a friend when I need one, an understanding hand on my shoulder when I can’t let out what I’m feeling, and the man who protects me when I feel I must protect everyone else._

_The truth that I refused to let myself see, that I could not believe, was that you love me in equal measure.  Not in spite of my faults, but because of them.   I know the depth of your love because you loved me 8 years ago when you walked away on the train platform with almost a kiss, and turned to watch me propose to my wife.  You loved me when you spoke at my wedding and wished, with all sincerity, for our happiness. You loved me when I showed up at your doorstep 2 years later with my brother and demanded you let us stay.  You loved me when I came back to work for you and used work as an excuse to avoid my wife.  You loved me when you sent me back to her, helped me be a better husband to her, and became a friend to her when she needed one._

_I could never deserve the years of love and devotion you have given me.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.  At least, tonight, I can begin with my heart, and admit that all this time, you loved me._

_I wish I had been brave enough, on the train platform, to look carefully at my own heart to realize what I was throwing away.  I can never regret the life I have with Winry because it has been a good life, but I won’t lie and say that every night I lay with her, I am not filled with guilt because I would rather be with you.  I won’t lie and say that I didn’t move back to Central because I feared the longer I stayed with her, the more likely she would figure out my darkest secret.  She does not deserve that betrayal.  And neither do you._

_I love you more than my heart can bear.  I suppose it is a testament to those feelings that I can understand Hughes better now; when he spoke of Gracia, and showed pictures of her and Elysia to the world.  I keep your letters so dear that I find the same joy, the same pride in them._

_Your words paint pictures and they have always spoken of love to me, even when I was too blind to see the meaning behind the art.  You were always good at things like that.  I’m just an alchemist and there was never an array I could draw that was as complicated nor as beautiful as who you are._

_I love you._

_And I am yours, always,_

_Ed”_

Silence filled the room and Roy wanted to scream but there was no way to break the quiet.  It was Ed who managed, in the end.

“Roy.  Please.”

He closed his eyes because he knew what Ed wanted of him.  Ed knew what he was capable of.  Ed was asking him to rip his heart out, to protect Winry when it would mean that Ed himself was likely to be killed in the crossfire.

“Of course,” he said softly.

“I am so sorry, Winry,” Tanner said.  “But it’s obvious that while Ed certainly loves his childhood friend, he needs General Mustang.   I’m afraid you have to die, so that they can live.”

“Tanner that was never the agreement.”

Ackerman took his eyes off of Ed and Mustang tensed. 

“When you contacted me after killed the criminals who went free from our justice system, I didn’t care that you were killing them.  A way to say thank you for helping you find a good orphanage, you said.  And when you got caught, I helped you escape because you were still useful to me.  I even helped you the second time because you were going to kill the alchemist and that was what I really wanted.  Killing his pet dog was supposed to destroy Mustang!  Even when you wanted to collect your little triangle here, I was okay with it, so long as Mustang died in the end.  But now you want him freed?”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?  Ackerman, I can save him.  He doesn’t have to be like the others!”

“You just don’t get it, do you?  I’m going to be the next Fuhrer of Amestris.  Grumman is too old to keep the job for long and the government is ripe for the taking.  The only thing standing in my way is Mustang.  You were supposed to destroy his life so that he’d give up, without me having to dirty my hands.  Now here we are, and they’ve seen me, and you want to let them go?  This is why I fucking hate alchemists!  Not one of you is stable! You act like you’re gods and expect the rest of us to live on your hand outs!   If I’d known you were an alchemist when I found you all those years ago, I’d have left you to die with your family,” he scoffed.  “I will do what I have to so I can become the next Fuhrer!  Not some crazed alchemist!”

Tanner glared at Ackerman as the other man raised his gun at Roy.  When the shot echoed off the walls, he stared in surprise.  Ackerman dropped to the floor with a bullet through his brain.

Tanner looked at Winry and Mustang could see her hold her head up high, even though tears streaked her face.  Tanner frowned.  “I’m afraid it’s your turn now.”

There was gunfire outside of the room and when Tanner turned his head, Roy used the moment to clap his hands and free them from their bonds.  As he fell, he snapped and the bonds that had held Ed disappeared in flame.  He landed hard, but when he looked up a wall had formed between Winry and Tanner and Ed was already at her side. 

“Why don’t you understand?” Tanner focused on Roy and yelled.  Roy stumbled to his feet to face the man.  “I know you love him!  Why won’t you let me fix this?”

“Love isn’t letting someone hurt the person you love for your own gain.  Love means you rip your own damn heart out if they need you to.  And I won’t let you threaten him ever again!”

Tanner realized his mistake too late though, and even as he brought his gun up towards Roy, he snapped his fingers and the man burned.  The fire was hot and fierce and the screams died almost before they could start. 

He heard Hawkeye’s voice and the team burst into the room. 

“Sir?” she was looking at the shadows and checking for danger but she was asking about the burning corpse in the middle of the room. 

“We’re clear,” he said just as he heard Ed call out, “Winry!”

He turned in time to see the angry flash of blue eyes just before she smacked him across the face, “How could you!” she yelled.  She hit his chest with her fist and he caught her just as her knees gave out.  His body was in no condition to hold her up, so he staggered back and dropped with her, pressed against the wall behind him, as she sobbed into his chest.  He closed his eyes because there was nothing he could do.  Nothing would ever make any of this go away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he held her close.  “Winry, I’m so sorry.”

He repeated the words and just held on, ignoring the tears on his own cheeks.  “Roy,” she whispered so softly against his chest, “I’m so sorry.”

Movement made him look up, but while the team was cleaning up around them, Ed stood just out of reach, beaten and bloodied, and looking far more lost than Roy had ever seen him.  Roy just closed his eyes against the image, and continued his litany for Winry as he stroked her hair and both gave and took comfort from the only person who could possibly understand.

 

 

The morning light woke her and Winry stretched lightly.  She was still half sleep and she moved closer to the warmth at her back, only to have Ed move away from her.  It woke her completely and she nearly cursed at the way her body betrayed her every damn morning.  Seventeen days since they’d come home together, seventeen days to try to make sense of what the madman had been trying to do.  Seventeen days of avoiding each other or yelling until she was hoarse.  And Ed just took it.  He didn’t fight back.  He didn’t say anything in his defense. 

Ed took the blame for all of it and Winry didn’t know how to get him to fight back. 

She got out of bed and showered, then quickly went down to fix breakfast for Ed and Granny.  Granny knew something had happened but neither of them said anything.  Luckily, when Tanner had come she’d been away visiting a client in one of the outer edges of Resembool.  She hadn’t come home until the morning after and while she knew something was wrong, she didn’t know the extent of it. 

Ed had already left when Winry went to the kitchen so she just made food for Granny and left it for her with a note.

It was obvious that Ed was going to stay here and keep taking her anger for as long as she let him.  She couldn’t.  Oh, she was mad enough, but it wasn’t all on Ed, was it?  How many nights had she laid awake next to him and wanted to ask him?  Was he really happy?  Was this really what he wanted in life?  Because Winry loved Ed, but this wasn’t the relationship she’d always envisioned for them.  Before this had happened, he smiled and laughed with her and they made love, but he was always on his way out the door.  He was always returning to Central City and his brother. 

To Roy Mustang. 

Winry had never asked, though she’d always wondered.  So many times over the years she’d almost asked if they had been lovers, before.  She knew the age difference between them and she knew all the things that said they shouldn’t, but she also knew how Ed was.  He hadn’t been a child since his mother died, no matter how he acted sometimes.  And now she could admit to herself that what she saw between Ed and Mustang now was the same she had seen back then. 

And she had always been afraid to ask because she knew the answer.  She had known when she married him and she had said the words, hoping that in time he would love her the way she loved him.  She had been so certain that their history and the love she had for him was enough to make him love her.  Because she had also known that whatever had been between them, once Ed said ‘I do’ Mustang would never cross that line. 

Funny, how she never thought of that as problematic before Tanner had mentioned it.  That she had always believed that Mustang would keep the line, and not the man that had vowed to be true to her. 

She sighed as she walked out the front door and walked down the road a bit towards a familiar path.  They’d always come here, Ed and Al, when they needed to think and Winry had long memorized the route.  It led to the middle of nowhere, but the hillside looked down on the entire Resembool valley.

She saw him there, his golden hair blowing gently with the light morning breeze.  He was leaning back with his arms braced behind him.  His eyes were closed and there was a small smile on his face.  Her heart stopped for a moment to see him like that.  He was still the most handsome man she’d ever known, but it had been a long time since she’d seen a smile like that on his face.  His visits to Resembool had become more duty than desire and while they could laugh and joke together, wherever his thoughts took him now, it was far more intimate than anything they shared.

She looked down, feeling guilty that she was catching him in such a moment, then huffed just loud enough to get his attention as she made her way up the hill.

The blush on his cheeks was enough to tell her what she didn’t need to know.  He’d been thinking of Mustang, or remembering something of the man.

She took a seat next to him and he seemed to be holding his breath.  He was waiting for the anger and the yelling, but Winry was done with it.  That one moment, that one unguarded moment said everything, didn’t it? 

“So.  I’m going to go to Rush Valley for a couple days to get my head clear,” she said softly.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he offered.

She shook her head and let out a deep breath.  “You love him.”

“Winry…”

There was something so desperate in the way he said her name that she felt tears in her eyes.  “Ed, please.  I need to say this.  You love him in ways you couldn’t love me.  I understand that now.  I get it.  He’s handsome and strong and …” she paused because this wasn’t about Mustang.  This was about her and Ed.

“I used to think I understood you and Al better than anyone could, but I was wrong.  I knew these two boys from Resembool who loved alchemy and their family and who set off to make themselves whole.  Who you became is so much more than that and I barely knew what was happening.  I don’t know the man you are, because I was afraid to ask.  I didn’t want to know how you were changing, and when I saw the change with you and the General, I didn’t ask.  In fact, I turned my head.  I just looked away.  I wanted so much to be a part of your story and if I knew the whole of it, I was afraid I wouldn’t fit.”

“Winry, you’ve always fit.”

“That’s the thing, Ed.  I fit as your best friend and I fit as your childhood sweetheart, but you grew out of that a long time ago.   And you are going to keep trying to put me back in the story because you think you’re hurting me by doing anything else.  You’re sitting here now, when we both know you should be somewhere else.”

“Winry, you’re my wife.”

Not Winry, I love you.  Not Winry, I need you.  Winry, you’re my wife. 

She stared down at her hands and tried to hold in the anger, because he was going to hide behind that.  That damn letter made it all too clear that he had been hiding behind the title of husband rather than doing what he should to keep it.  He couldn’t do anything else though, so she had to be the one.  She had to remove herself from the narrative.  Whatever story was told about Ed’s life, Winry Rockbell could no longer be a part of it.

“I love you, Ed, and I hate you for making me be the one to do this.”

He stared at her and she took a deep breath to keep from yelling.  “I’m going to Rush Valley, and when I return, you need to have all of your things out of the house.  I refuse to be married to someone who doesn’t love me.”

She got up and didn’t turn around when he called her name.  She ran home and went straight to her room and curled up on the bed, on his side which rarely smelled of him because of his long absences, and gave in to the tears. 

The least he could have done was chase after her one last time…

 

 

“Mustang,” Roy answered the phone as soon as it rang.  He had a headache that wouldn’t seem to go away and he would have called it an early day if he hadn’t had the same damn headache every day since Tanner had died.

“General.”

He sat up in his chair at the voice on the other end of the line.  A voice he’d, quite frankly, never thought to hear again. 

“Winry?  Are you okay?”

There was a bitter laugh at the end of the line and he sighed.  “I meant-”

“I know,” she said softly. 

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m trying.  I guess that’s the best I can say right now.  I’m trying to understand.  I … can I ask … I know it’s-”

“Winry, what do you want to know?”

“He wrote you letters like that one, often, didn’t he?”

“Like that one?  No.”  He wished he’d never heard that one either.  And yet, it sat in an envelope on his desk, along with the charm that he had given Ed.  They’d come the day before.  “He did write though about whatever was happening on the road.  Sometimes things that didn’t belong in a work report.  Sometimes things about his travels.  Usually just whatever was happening around him.  Things about you and Al and everyone he was visiting.”

“He wrote to you about me?” she asked.

“Often.”

“He would never write me.  Not a single letter in all these years.  Do you think it was… because of you?”

He signed and found himself speaking in a way he never thought he would to Ed’s wife.  “I love him Winry, but that doesn’t make me a mind reader.  I have no idea why he wrote me and not you.”

“He tried to explain why he couldn’t write to me once.  I wish I had listened better.  He said it was hard for him to write because he had to trust that the person who was reading it would understand him well enough to know what he meant, even when he fumbled the words.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Winry,” he admitted. 

“I don’t either.  I just… I guess I used to call you when I was feeling upset about Ed or worried about him and it always made me feel better.  What does that say about my marriage, General?  What does it say about me now, that I still expect it to be true?”

“I’m sorry Winry.  I wish there was something I could say that would make this better, but I did this to you.  There is nothing I can say to change that.”

“You didn’t.  Listen, Ed made his own choices and you and I did also.  We all screwed this up but Ed can’t fix it.  That Tanner guy, he was right about that.  Ed is so damn worried about hurting the people he loves that he can’t see how much we’re all hurting because of it.  So I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything, of course.”

“I need you to be on the train to Resembool this afternoon.”

“What?”

“You got the letter and the charm that I sent, right?”

“Yes, I did,” he said as he picked up the envelope. 

“I don’t know what the charm was, but they used my wedding ring to lure Ed away, so I’m guessing it means something between the two of you too.”

He closed his eyes.  “Yes.”

“That was … he transmuted it into his automail, didn’t he?”

“So he wouldn’t lose it, he said,” Roy answered.

“The letter?  It’s a beautiful confession.  You deserve to be happy, General.  So does Ed.”

“As do you, Winry,” he reminded her.

“It might take some time, but I’m going to be.  Please, just be on the train.”

He let out a deep breath.  He knew the train schedule by heart after all these years of waiting for Ed to go back and forth.  “I can make the next train.”

“Thank you.”

She hung up before he could ask anything else.  He stared for a moment but then the door opened as Hawkeye came in. 

“Sir, you have a meeting in thirty minutes.”

“Please reschedule it.  I’m leaving the office.”

“Sir.”

“I’m going to Resembool.”

“I know Ed is dealing with a lot, General-”

“Winry asked me to come.”

He cut her off because they didn’t know.  They didn’t understand why the three of them had been tied up and a clever lie had them all thinking that it had been a choice between Ed’s career and Ed’s marriage that had been in the balance. 

Hawkeye was clearly confused by that but she nodded.  “I see.  I’ll take care of it.  Will you be in the office tomorrow?”

“I’ll call when I know the situation.”

He pulled his jacket on and didn’t bother with anything else.  He had a train to catch and too many troubles on his mind to worry about something as trivial as necessities.

 

 

“You don’t have to go,” Ed said as they walked to the station.  He’d said it a few hundred times over the last few hours since Winry’s announcement that she was going to Rush Valley, but she refused to stay.

“I want to go. I need to go,” Winry said as the station came into view.  “And you need to move on with your life in Central.”

“It’s not that simple, Winry.  You know none of this is.”

“I do.  I’m sorry that this last two weeks I’ve been so angry that I couldn’t see that this was killing you as much as it was killing me.”

“I’m so sorry I did this to us Winry, to you.”

She shook her head.  “For God’s sake the two of you do deserve each other.  Stop blaming yourself Ed.  Yes, I’m angry but we all played a part and I’m able to see how I let it happen too.  But I can’t stand by anymore.  So take care of yourself Ed.  And take care of him.  You do deserve to be happy.”

“Winry.”

“I’m going to keep this,” she pulled the necklace out from around her neck where it had been tucked under her shirt.  Her wedding ring was still hanging from it.  “I’m going to keep this and you’re going to keep your promise.  That you’ll always come back, right?  Everything is different, but I still need to know that you’re safe out there.  So you’ll come back to Resembool every so often and let us see that you’re still alive, okay?”

There were tears in her eyes and he wanted to reach out to her and comfort her but he wasn’t allowed to do that, was he?

“You’re such an idiot,” she huffed and she wrapped her arms around his neck and quietly cried into his shirt collar.

The conductor called for the departing Rush Valley train and Winry pulled back. 

“Did the Central train come in yet?” she asked.

He nodded.  “Yeah.  It just went outbound before they called for the Rush Valley train.”

“Good.”

He wondered what she meant by that but then she took off towards the station and he followed.  “Ed, would you get my ticket?” she asked.

He went to the window but he lost sight of her a minute later with the people moving over the platform.  He picked up the ticket and stared, lost for a few moments, before he let out a deep breath.  This was what Winry wanted. 

No, she wanted to be happily married, but that wasn’t what Ed had given her.  Now, she was going to find a way to move on and that meant Rush Valley for now.  He pushed aside the regret and pain at what he’d done to her and began to look for her on the platform.

He stopped when he found her. 

She had her arms wrapped around another man’s shoulders, whispering something in his ear.  Ed recognized the uniform and the gloves and the arms that were wrapped around Winry’s tiny waist, but his brain couldn’t quite put it all together.

When Mustang looked up, there was surprise in his eyes.

Winry must have felt something because she held him closer for another moment before she let go.  He nodded to her and she smiled back, but there were tears in her eyes again when she turned to Ed.  “Time for me to board,” she said.  “I guess it’s my turn to have an adventure on the train.  My ticket?” she asked.

“Here you go,” he said as he handed it to her.  “Winry-”

“This is where you wish me the best, Edward Elric.  And you tell me you’ll always love me and you’ll still call but you’ll never write and I’ll yell at you not to let my automail get destroyed. Alright?”

He nodded because it was the most he could do.  She was so damn brave.  So much more so than he had ever been. 

She turned to enter the train but Ed caught her hand and pulled her close.  He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.  “I do love you, Winry.”

“I know.  Now, go find a way to be happy Ed.  It’s not simple, you’re right, but you’ve got a pretty good start on it.  Just … fight for it this time.  Alright?”

She pulled away before he could say anything else and Ed took a few steps back and followed to where she’d found an open window seat.  She put the window down and waved.  “You remember what I said, General!”

“I will, Winry.  Be safe.  Let us know when you reach Rush Valley.”

When the train rolled off into the distance, Ed could only wave.  He stared off after it until well after he could no longer see it.

“Ed?”

He had almost forgotten that he wasn’t alone on the platform.

“What are you doing here, Bastard?” he asked, though his voice was just weary and not angry the way he wanted it to be.

“I wish I knew,” he said honestly.  “Winry called me.  She asked me to take the train to Resembool.” 

He had no idea what to do with that. 

“Are you okay, Ed?” he asked.

“I … don’t know.  She’s going to Rush Valley.  She asked me to move out.”

“I’m sorry, Ed.”

“Are you?”

He turned to look at Mustang and the look of surprise on his face made him regret his words immediately.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that.”

Mustang just nodded.  After a moment of staring at each other, he looked back to the ticket counter.  “I’m going to head back to Central.”

“Don’t.”

Mustang looked at him but Ed couldn’t read anything from his expression. 

“Please, just stay a little while at least.  There are a couple hours before the last train.”

Mustang put his hands in his pockets and nodded.  “Alright, Fullmetal.”

He watched the way Mustang put up his guard and Ed hated it, but he understood.  He started to walk away from the platform and down the road towards the house.  He couldn’t go there, but he didn’t know what else to do.  Neither of them spoke but as they walked, Ed spotted a little market and he stopped.  “Just wait here a minute.  I’ll be right back.”

He ran off before Mustang could say anything.  It was a quick trip.  He’d made it often the last couple weeks.  He left the house most mornings before Winry woke and he didn’t go back until dinner time.  He picked up a couple sandwiches from the deli along with a jug of lemonade and some finger foods.  The lady who owned the place lent him her basket again and he walked out a few minutes later.      

“Figured I could at least feed you for making the trip,” Ed said as he joined Mustang again.  The General smiled but it was still his polite, political smile and Ed sorta wanted to punch it off his face, if he didn’t understand why the man was being so distant.

When Ed left the road to walk around the hills, Mustang followed without hesitation.  He did take his jacket off and roll up his sleeves and that at least made Ed feel a little more relaxed.  If Mustang was willing to remove at least a little of his professional armor, Ed had a chance at getting him to talk.

When he stopped they were in a small secluded area.  Trees surrounded them on all sides and a small stream ran past them.  He realized it could be considered a romantic spot, but Ed came here to think when he needed to be alone.  Not even Al knew this spot.

“I come here a lot to get away from everyone,” Ed said quietly.

The sun streamed through the trees onto the rocky face that Ed usually sat on and he went to it and set the basket down.  It was large enough to lie on if he wanted so there was plenty of room for the two of them.

“Ed?”

“Can we just… eat?  Can the complicated stuff happen after that?”  He was just postponing the inevitable but it’d been seventeen days since he’d spoke to the General and Ed just wanted a few minutes of peace before the inevitable war broke out between them.

Mustang watched him for a minute, then sat down on the rock and looked at the basket.  “What did you get for me?”

Ed was grateful for the reprieve and he handed out the food.  They ate in silence that was companionable and not the strained variety he’d had to live with since Tanner.  He sighed because he wouldn’t let himself lie, even in his head.  It wasn’t because of Tanner.  It was because of him.  Because of his actions and his inaction.  It was nice though, sitting on his rock, eating, watching the stream move along, and just being with Roy.

When he was done eating he packed it away and watched as Roy laid back on the rock, using his jacket as a pillow.  His eyes were closed and Ed just let himself look.

He’d undone the top couple buttons of his shirt and he was more relaxed than Ed had seen him in a long time.  “Stop staring at me, you freak,” Roy said softly.  There was a smile on his face though and Ed couldn’t help but laugh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you just relax like that.”

“You think I get much of a chance in Central?”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

Roy sat up and grabbed at the jacket he’d been using as a pillow until he had something in his hand.  An envelope.  He pulled something out of it and put it away quickly but not before Ed recognized the letter.

“Where did you get that?” he asked.

Whatever Roy had taken out of the envelope he kept in his hand, rubbing a thumb over it. 

“Winry.  She found the letter and took it before it could be made evidence.”

“I’m sorry that you had to hear it that way,” he said.

Roy let out a huff of a laugh.  “I wasn’t ever going to hear it any other way.”

“Maybe not,” Ed said.  “I … I don’t know what to say anymore.  Apologizing doesn’t seem to be enough.  It doesn’t … it can’t make up for how much I’ve screwed everything up.”

“Ed, you weren’t alone in this.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I wasn’t innocent.  I couldn’t move on, but I could have tried to make you think I did.”

“You think I wouldn’t have seen through it, Bastard?”

 “Maybe. But I shouldn’t have encouraged you either.”

“You kept me faithful.  You know that.”

“Ed.”

“That night,” he looked across the stream because he couldn’t admit how weak he was while he looked him in the eye.  “When you came back to bed, you know what I wanted.”

“Don’t make me out to be a saint, Ed.  I wanted the same thing.”

“But you stopped when I wouldn’t have.”

“You would have hated yourself in the morning.”

“The next morning my wife was abducted by an alchemic serial killer and I hated myself for it anyway.  But… I’ll damn myself more and admit that I’m still glad I was with you that night.”

“Ed-”

“I needed to be there.  He wasn’t wrong, you know.”

“Who?”

“Tanner.  Alphonse figured out how it worked and what he was reading.  It wasn’t people that wanted to die, but he could tell when people were depressed.  It has to do with brain chemistry and chemicals in the body.  I’ve been slipping further and further into it for years.  I’ve known it but I was never able to see my way clear of it.  As much as everything hurts right now, I feel like maybe I can fix things.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“Winry needs time to heal.  She can’t do that if I’m here in Resembool.  She’s made it clear that she wants to be friends still and I hope we can manage that.”

“If anyone can, it’s the two of you.”

“I don’t know what to do about this though, about us.  If … there is an us.”

“Ed, what happens next is up to you.  It has always been up to you.  I love you and my heart has never been so fickle as to change course once it’s set on something.  You were right in your letter.  I loved you when you took me to your hotel room all those years ago and I have loved you ever since.  But you need time to heal, just like Winry does.  Just like I do.”

“I was thinking of making a trip to Xing.  I missed the last one and it would be good to see Ling and Lan Fan and maybe visit with Mei.”

“I hate the idea of you going that far away, but I can make a call.  It would probably be better if you didn’t surprise the Emperor.”

“You just wanna call and talk trash about me with Ling,” Ed teased.

Roy leaned back to lie on the rock and Ed watched for a second before he moved closer and lay down beside him.  He pillowed his head on Roy’s shoulder and waited for the other man to push him away but it never happened.  Instead he felt the tie pulled from his hair and then Roy’s hand was stroking through it.

“Is this okay?” Ed asked as he shifted so that he could press his nose into Roy’s neck.  Roy’s fingers tangled in his hair for a moment and his breath hitched but Roy didn’t pull him away.

“Yeah.  This is okay, Ed.”

He dozed in and out, unaware of the passage of time.  Sometimes he thought he felt the press of lips in his hair but he just smiled each time.  Sometimes when he thought Roy was asleep, he pressed his own lips to the man’s neck just to feel the warmth of his skin. 

When he was finally shaken awake the day was almost gone.  “Ed, I have to get back to the station.”

Ed let out a deep sigh.  “Yeah, I guess you do.  You could stay.”

“I really can’t,” Roy answered but his voice was tinged with regret.  He pulled Ed close though and Ed took the moment to breathe deep and just feel the man beside him.  “I really don’t think I’d behave myself if I did, and the last thing we need is to confuse everything like that.”

“But you wanna…” Ed teased.

“You have no idea how much.”

Roy sat up then and Ed followed suite.  They walked back to town quietly.  When they got closer to the station, Roy began to button himself back up and his jacket went back on.  Ed already missed the more casual side of the General but he knew the importance of appearances, especially for Roy who still had so much work he wanted to do.

Roy went up and bought a ticket for the return home and Ed waited.  When he was done they went to the backside of the building to sit and wait for the next train.  It wouldn’t be long and Ed wished he was joining the other man. 

“This was with the letter when Winry sent it to me.”  He held the charm that Ed had given Ackerman.  “It’s yours if you still want it.”

Ed looked at it for a second before he took it.  He didn’t think about it but clapped his hands and transmuted it onto the back of his right hand.  He didn’t need to hide it anymore. 

“You’re really not subtle, Fullmetal,” Roy said with a smile.

Ed looked at him and before he could say anything Roy had pulled him close until their foreheads rested together.  “Take care of yourself, Ed.  Don’t get into too much trouble with Ling.”

“I thought you two had become friends while you were there.”

“We did.  Which is why I’m warning you before you go,” he laughed. 

He started to pull away and Ed turned his head ever so slightly in the hopes of catching the other man’s lips, just once.  He could do that now, he could want to kiss the man he loved.

Roy pulled away from him without allowing it, but just far enough to look Ed in the eye.  “Our first kiss will not be a good bye kiss, Edward.”

“Tease.”

“Come home when you’re ready, and I’ll show you a tease.”

“Still teasing.”

“Still want you to come home to me.”

They both straightened up when they heard the train whistle in the distance, signaling its arrival.  He wanted more time, but he knew more time was just trouble with them.  He needed to sort out his head and he needed to think on what Roy had said, about needing to heal himself.  Ed knew he’d hurt him with this back and forth but he’d never thought just how much.  Mustang was the General, after all, and he rarely let anyone see what was really going on behind those eyes.  It was something Ed would have to break him of, when they were finally together.

It was time for the train and Ed gave in to the desire to wrap his arms around Roy.  Roy held him close and Ed relaxed against his chest for a moment.  He looked up at Roy and said the words he’d ached to say for years.  “I love you.”

Roy’s eyes widened in surprise and it was worth it for that, but Ed would never forget the moment of relief that flashed there as well.  As if in all the words and letters over the years, he had feared that Ed would never speak them aloud.

“I love you too, Ed.”

He closed his eyes when Roy caressed his cheek but he didn’t lean up, no matter how much he wanted to kiss the man. 

“Be safe until you come home to me.”

“I’ll let you know when I get to Xing.  I’ll write.”

“Call when you can, too.  And Ed, I’ll keep an eye on Winry and Al.”

He smiled because he never even questioned it.  “I know.”

Roy walked away then and Ed watched him board the train.  As many times as Ed had left someone behind on the platform, he didn’t think he’d ever felt as empty as he did at the moment.  He had some things to figure out though and he just needed some time to do it. 

Tonight he’d pack up what he needed to and send it up to Central to Al.  And tomorrow, he’d been on the first part of his journey to Xing. 

 

 

_1926_

_Dear Roy,_

_Have I ever mentioned how much I hate traveling through the desert?  Do not ever send me to Xing.  I make a lousy diplomat at the best of times and Ling laughed for a straight ten minutes when he saw my face.  It’s a good thing he’d snuck away from the guards because I don’t think they’d like the way I kept threatening to punch him in the face._

_He deserved it.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  This is the man that Greed was a **good** influence on.  _

_Thankfully by the time we got to the Imperial City, Ling had disappeared and when I arrived the Emperor greeted me.  I have no official reason to be here, but the Emperor made a big deal of me being the Fullmetal Alchemist and his retinue seemed to cheer up after that._

_The palace is pretty cool.  I like the buildings.  We need more like them in Central. Don’t blame me if they start showing up randomly._

_I wish I’d been here with you when you came last year.  It would have been nice to experience this with you.  Maybe someday we’ll manage to make the journey together?_

  _I’m pretty sure the bed in the room Ling put me in could fit 20 people.  No wonder Greed was willing to hitch a ride in a Xingese Prince.  What exactly does he think I plan to do while I’m here?  Exactly what did you tell him about me when the two of you were getting all buddy-buddy?_

_I had a lot of time to think while I was traveling here and I still don’t know what I’m going to do.  Ling mentioned that Lan Fan might be willing to train me in their way of fighting.  It would kill some time, anyway.  I might even get back and finally be able to beat Al in a fight!_

_I think I’ll just start with some sightseeing.  I’ve always traveled for work or research, never just to be on the road.  Maybe I’ll see what Xing is all about. Maybe just taking some time will help me deal with all this.  It sounds so stupid when I write about it.  Of all the terrible things that have happened in my life, the thing I can’t handle without a breakdown is being in love or being married.  It’s a bit pathetic.  Honestly, after chimera and madmen and Scar and Father and all the other nasty things we’ve chased down over the years, it’s a bit humiliating to be floundering because of my heart._

_Especially when I knew what I wanted all along and screwed it up.  Especially when Winry was strong enough to do the right thing when I wasn’t._

_Maybe that’s what I need to focus on.  I’ve never stopped myself from a fight in all my life, so why was this any different?  Why didn’t I fight?  And how can you ever forgive me for not being able to let you go when I’d been such a coward?_

_Sorry, this is where my brain goes sometimes.  I can’t sleep tonight.  Nice big bed, too empty, and too many nightmares creeping around the dark corners._

_I know you’re probably still plotting world domination in my absence, but try to be safe.  You’re supposed to be making Amestris a place to come home to and I can’t do that if you aren’t there._

_The mail takes forever here, so write as soon as you can.  If I go traveling off anywhere, I’ll have Ling send it along._

_Please know, that through all of this, I am still yours.  And I have never meant the words more when I said I love you._

_Love,_

_Ed_

_1926_

_My Dearest Edward,_

_I’m glad you made the journey to Xing safely.  I remember having to spend a week bathing just to get all the sand out of the wrong places but it was still a worthwhile journey.  I do enjoy the architecture of Xing quite a bit.  With the new treaty signed, the Fuhrer is speaking of setting up a Xingese Embassy here, much like the Ishvalan Embassy. If that comes to pass, the Emperor has assured me that the best architects will be at our disposal to make sure we do their culture justice._

_I wish you had been there as well.  While my time in Xing was well spent and I did make a new friend, it would have been nice to have your company.  You’ll enjoy the street markets and I’m certain you’ll pick up the language better than any of us did.  I suppose I can admit now that I missed you terribly when I was in Xing.  Ling kept creeping into my rooms at night and he seemed to have a fondness for watching me reread your letters._

_I never meant to let him know of my feelings for you, but for a man who had his own reasons for being separated from the one he loved, he understood all too well.  He was, surprisingly, good company for a man that would have preferred to mope around wishing you were there._

_Be careful though.  He likes to sneak in the windows when you least expect it.  Like when you are reading a loved ones letter for the fifth time._

_Ed, you aren’t a coward and you have never been.  Our relationship has always been complicated, and made even more so by the circumstances surrounding us.  I never questioned why you chose Winry that day.  No matter how things turned out, the two of you have always balanced each other.  I’m sure you will once again, when you leave Xing and move forward with your life.  You have spent years battling demons that most people would have just given in to.  Take the time and rest, Ed.  Be well.  Find your strength again and know that you are always in my thoughts._

_I wish I could be there, if nothing else, than to hold you and keep the nightmares at bay.  I would do anything to protect you from them, but I fear my words will do no good.  I’m too familiar with nightmares myself.  I still see sand and blood and flame too often in my dreams.  I see the faces of the people who have fought for me, fought with me, turned to ash.  But even admitting it, to you, seems to make the specter seem less daunting.  What fills your nightmares?  And what do you dream of, Fullmetal, when the nights are pleasant?_

_I am having lunch with Alphonse tomorrow and I will send his love, as I know he will ask it.   I have spoken with Winry twice since her journey to Rush Valley.  If you don’t want to hear of it in the future, let me know and I will refrain, but I thought you would want news.  She seems to be doing well.  Paninya is as faithful a companion as always.  You might not have liked her, Ed, but she has been good to Winry.  She has opened a temporary shop in the valley to do repair work for her clients and anyone that might need help.  It has been very well received and though she hasn’t said it, I believe she may be thinking of a permanent move there.  I believe it is only Pinako that keeps her from it._

_I will close for now.  The evening is lengthening and though it is empty, my bed calls to me.  Though I had long ago given up hope of finding you in it, I find it easier to sleep with the memory of the one night.  And I find that I can hope, once again, of finding you at my doorstep, letting you into my home, and into my arms._

_I love you, Edward Elric.  As the beach waits eternally for the kiss of the ever moving tide, so I wait for you to return home.  To me._

_Love,_

_Roy_

“He really is gone on you.”

Ed jumped out of his seat and spun around, glaring at the man that was standing just behind the chair he’d been sitting in.

“Ling!  What the hell are you doing?”

He saw Lan Fan in the shadows of the balcony and let out a deep breath.  Well, Roy had warned him, hadn’t he?  Ed would have to take better precautions in the future.

“Stopping by to see an old friend.  Should I have made an announcement?”

“Don’t creep up on me like that!”

“I only wanted to see what held your attention so enrapt,” the Emperor of Xing said with a smile.  Ed didn’t like that smile.  It was … softer than it should be.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“I hoped you’d open up to me about your reason for coming to Xing but you are extremely good at avoiding the topic.  It seems I may have found the reason now.”

“Ling-”

“And I approve.”

“What?”

“As Emperor I don’t get to have friends, Ed.  General Mustang understood that and when I found time to visit, we seemed to be of similar mind on many things.  Funny how I never look to find friends in Amestris, but I seem to pick most of them up there.”

“Yeah, well Mustang has that effect on people.”

“From the words of that letter, he seems to have had that effect on you.”

“Ling, don’t.”

“Don’t what, Ed?  You have been rereading that letter every night since it arrived two weeks ago and my servants told me how you shut yourself in when it arrived until you had written a response.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“What sort of friend would I be if I didn’t?” Ling asked.  “If it is any consolation, he did the same when he was here.  He always had one of your letters in his pocket and I would see him out in the gardens during breaks, reading them.  Or he’d be here in his rooms, reading them at night when I’d sneak in to talk.”

Ed closed his eyes because he didn’t want to talk about it, but there really was no one else he could talk to about it.  All his other friends were too invested in whatever happened.  Ling would tell him what he thought, without worrying about hurting anyone else.

“I don’t know if that’s romantic or pathetic,” Ed said with a small laugh.

“A bit of both, I suppose,” Ling said as he took a seat on the couch across from Ed.  Ed sat back down and didn’t bother putting the letter away.  “Love makes fools of us all.”

“Why did you come to Xing, Ed?” Ling asked after a moment’s silence.  “He loves you and he’s finally admitted it to you, so something must have happened.”

“Winry found out.”

“What?”

“She found out that I’d been in love with him for years.  In the worst possible way.”  He explained the alchemic serial killer and Winry’s abduction.  He told him how Ed had gone to save her and Roy had come to save them both.  He told him about the letter he’d never intended to send.

“Oh Ed, you do love to complicate things.  He knows you love him and you know he loves you.  What are you doing in Xing?”       

“Why didn’t I fight for him, Ling?” Ed asked.  “When I stood on the platform and proposed to Winry?  That weekend there had been so many moments with Roy, so many chances for something to happen and one of us pulled away each time.  It was complicated between us, yes, but that’s never stopped me from anything in my life.  So why, when I had almost kissed him, did I turn around and propose to Winry?  You know the funny thing?  Her reaction to it, I thought she passed it off as me just being an idiot.  It wasn’t until I called her a few months later and she was talking about wedding plans that I realized she hadn’t.  And then… I still didn’t say anything.  I just got this sinking feeling in my gut and let her set a date.”

He looked at the letter in his hands, at the last line, and let out a deep breath.  “If I loved him the way I should, why did I let all of this happen?”

“I don’t know,” Ling answered.  “Why did you propose to Winry?”

“I don’t … know.  She was there!” Ed said as he got up and stalked across the room.  “Roy was such an enigma.  I didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling but there was this tension, this spark between us and it felt like it was going to explode but he’s going to be Fuhrer and I’m just a military dog whose too young and the wrong sex and who likes to cause trouble and can never help him become who he wants to be. 

And Winry was right there and I knew I could make her happy.  And she could make me happy because she would never ask me to settle down in one place or make me give up what I loved to stay with her in Resembool.  And I loved them both but what if I did reach for Roy?  What if this was just one sided and he was just flirting and nothing came of it and I was …” he let out a shaky breath.  “Even back then, I knew I couldn’t take that rejection.  I loved him too much already.”

“So you rejected him instead.”

“No, I just never gave it a chance to happen.”

“What changed, Ed?  How did someone so full of life, become afraid of it?”

Ed looked back at Ling and felt his energy drain away.  “The gate.”

“What?”

“When I got Al’s body back on the Promised Day, the Truth took my arm as payment.”

“Yes.”

“No one ever asked how that was equivalent exchange.  I gave my arm to bind his soul to a suit of armor when I was 11.  How was that same arm the equivalent price to bring him, body and soul, back?”

“When you put it like that, it doesn’t make any sense.  But I’m not an alchemist.”

“And there are only 3 other alchemists alive that would question it because no one else has seen the Truth.  Only one has ever questioned it, though I see the question sometimes in Roy and Izumi’s eyes.”

“What did it take?”

“I thought I had it figured out.  I was going to give away my gate.  My ability to do alchemy.”

“Ed?”

“I was ready.  If it meant getting Al back, I was willing to pay that price.  The Truth didn’t like that at all though.  The Truth is a lonely asshole that decided so long as I was still an alchemist I would always come back to it to sell something of myself.”

“So what was the price to save your brother?”

“I didn’t know. I heard something as the gate pulled me away, a whisper. Now the man who wants to protect everyone's dreams can't protect himself from his own. It didn’t mean anything to me. My only dream had been to get Al’s body back and when I opened my eyes, he was there. It took some time to realize.”

“Nightmares,” Ling answered before Ed had to. “The Truth took your ability to dream peacefully. Every night you have nightmares.”

“You knew?”

“There are guards outside your door to make sure no one disturbs you. Did you think they wouldn’t hear and tell me?”

Ed snorted at that. “Spying on me all the time.”

Ling smiled at that. “You’re my friend, Ed. I am concerned about you.”

“You ran one of those tests Al learned about.”

“Yes. My people are rather subtle about it and I had them do it while you were engaged in your food at dinner when you first arrived. They say there is a heavy weight on your soul Ed. I thought it was about the General, but seeing his letter to you, I think perhaps that was not the weight I thought it was.”

“You’d think, wouldn’t you? But no. No matter how bad things felt, the Bastard was the only thing that kept me going some days. You know the only nights I haven’t had a nightmare are when I was sleeping under his roof?”

Ling gave him a smirk and Ed rolled his eyes.

“Al and I lived with him for a month when we were trying to find a place in Central.”

“Maybe it was your brother’s proximity.”

“I made myself believe that for a long time. After all, once Al had his body back he and I didn’t share a room anymore, except at Roy’s. But…”

“But…”

“There was one night. It was just the two of us and I didn’t have nightmares that night either.”

“I wouldn’t have thought the General would take advantage of Winry’s trust,” Ling said with a frown.

Ed let out a bitter laugh. “You too? I guess everyone knew what a rotten husband I was the whole time.”  Ling looked at him with a question in his eyes and Ed answered. “It’s always the General that wouldn’t, never me. I wouldn’t admit it to Winry, but you’re all right. That one night… I would have. Roy wouldn’t though. I was lost and it’s not what I went there for but I spent the night and I didn’t have a single nightmare.”

It was quiet between them for a few minutes before Ling got up from his seat. He moved towards the balcony where Lan Fan waited.

“Perhaps Ed, this Truth wasn’t trying to torment you. Perhaps he just saw another lonely asshole and wanted to help. Maybe the reason you sleep so well with the General watching over you, is that he always has. Maybe, the Truth wanted to show you that there was already someone who protected your dreams as ardently as you did.”

He left out the balcony before Ed could respond. He wasn’t sure what to say to that anyway.

The next morning Ed was a disaster to look at, but it wasn’t nightmares that had kept him up all night. Ed had been stuck so deep in his thoughts of his nightmares and the repercussions of Ling’s words that he hadn’t noticed the passage of time.

 

 

_1927_

 

_Dear Bastard,_

_I can only be sappy so long before reality comes back. Is it weird to say that I miss you? I don’t actually know what’s appropriate to put in these letters anymore. I was always so careful before not to say what I really wanted to._

_I guess I should be honest, right? You might not have been meant to read that letter I wrote, but it was the most honest I have ever been with anyone, including myself. So yeah. I miss you._

_And I feel guilty about it. Winry kicked me out and while I feel sorry that I’ve messed her life up so much, I’m actually relieved that this part of my life is over. I called and spoke with her last week, and it was weird but good. I think she’s trying to convince Pinako to move to Rush Valley with her. The old bat has a pretty strong name in the automail world and she’d have plenty to keep her busy if she moved. I don’t know if it will happen or not, but Winry can be pretty determined when she sets her mind to something._

_I had a talk with Ling the other night. I should have taken better precautions. He came in the window and was reading your letter over my shoulder. It was good to talk to someone who understood but wasn’t, you know, the love of my life, or something._

_He asked why I proposed to Winry, and for the first time I really looked for an answer and I found it. But to explain it, I need to explain something else. You’ve never asked and I’ve been grateful but I think you need to understand. Because Ling might be right (don’t tell him I said that)._

_I have had nightmares every night since the Promised Day. It’s not surprising I guess. I had nightmares a lot before then. I used to dream of the day we tried to bring Mom back, I dreamed of losing Al for good. I dreamed of him growing old and dying in a suit of armor. I dreamed of losing Winry and Granny and losing my other arm and leg to tie them to other things too. I dreamed of losing you and I had nothing left to give, so I gave my heart and I was empty and felt nothing but you were alive. And you hated me for it._

_I dreamed of Nina and Maes and how I caused their deaths, of how I should have tried to stop them and didn’t. I dreamed of Liore and the people I didn’t kill but who died anyways because I interfered. After the Promised Day, I added dreams of Father, over and over again, killing the people I loved to make a better Philosopher’s Stone. I watched you die over and over again, without sight but fighting against Father anyway._

_It wasn’t most nights, or a lot of nights. It was every night. That was the price I paid to get Al’s body back. The Truth gave me Al, but it took my dreams. I’m worn down and tired and I try not to let it show, but it’s been years and it’s been eating at me all along. I survived but I paid for it._

_When I proposed to Winry I knew that she and I could make a life together. I knew that I could make her happy and that I could find a way to be happy with my life. And I have been. I just never counted on how much what made me happy was being close to you. What I feared, when I proposed, was what it would mean if I admitted how I felt about you, and you rejected me. It wasn’t just a broken heart that I was afraid of, though that would suck. What I thought was between us, that was the light that helped me push through the dark of the nightmares. They clouded my thoughts but you reshaped the way I saw everything and made me stand stronger than I was. I feared losing that light in my life and where the darker path of my thoughts would take me._

_The Truth took my dreams, but Ling thinks it was something else entirely. Ling believes the Truth was trying to help me. I offered my gate in exchange for Al’s body but what the Truth took was entirely different. The only time, since the Promised Day, that I have slept without nightmares is in your house, and in your arms. Ling says it’s because you have always protected me and that the Truth wanted me to see that._

_Even though it took your sight on the Promised Day, I guess I was the one that was really blind. Because I think Ling is right._

_Now see, the sap is back. That’s what love does to me. I already know you’re a sap so I guess it will be alright. We can sit on the couch by the fire and be sappy together, right? I_

_think I’m going to call it a night now. I know nightmares are waiting for me, but I have plans for tomorrow and I think it’s going to be a busy few days. I have some things to take care of and with each word I write, I know what I need to do._

_I love you. I will always love you._

_Yours,_

_Ed_

 

 

“This is ridiculous.”

“I agree, Sir.”

Roy stared at Hawkeye but her glares were far worse than his so it had no effect.

“Perhaps it’s time to just give up and go home.”

Roy sighed. He didn’t want to admit how empty his house felt these days. Funny because he’d never had anyone living with him, other than the one month with the Elric Brothers years ago, but with Ed in Xing it felt too quiet. The fires weren’t quite warm enough or bright enough. His bed was the only place that comforted and even then it was with an added bit of imagination on his own. God knew the things he thought about had never happened in that bed.

“I can’t just take off because I’m having a hard time concentration.”

“Sir, everyone else went home hours ago.”

“Why are you still here then?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Hawkeye, I’m fine.”

“Sir. Roy. Go home. I insist.”

He took a deep breath and realized that she had her coat over her arm and was ready to leave. And the fact that it took him so long to realize that meant he was useless.

“Alright. I suppose tomorrow can’t be any worse.”

“Sir, if it is, I will shoot you.”

He smiled at her and she returned the gesture as she waited for him to clear his desk and get his things together. It only took a few minutes and they were outside the gates. They continued to walk in silence until they came to a parting of ways.

“Sir, try to get some sleep tonight.”

“I will.”

“He’ll write soon enough. Or call.”

“It’s been two months.”

“Then it won’t be long. Ed never could keep the silence from you this long.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Riza? This thing with Ed…”

“If I did I would have shot you instead of dealing with your moping for the last 7 months since he left for Xing.”

He chuckled at that and she smiled. “I think, when Ed comes back, he’ll be good for you. Now, go home and get some sleep. I need you productive tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He felt better as he continued his walk home. The air was brisk and cool and summer had taken a sharp down turn towards the colder end of the season. Roy wondered if Ed would winter in Xing or try to make it back to Amestris before the cold hit.

He sighed but couldn’t turn his thoughts from the young man. Roy had written one more letter to Ed in Xing but he’d never gotten a response. After Ed’s honest confession about his nightmares, Roy had felt it necessary to write his own confession. He had been given Ed’s most private feelings and Roy had returned the sentiment with his own.

And gotten no word in return. Not a phone call. Not a letter. Not even Ling would tell him anything about Ed. That was rather worrisome because it meant they were up to no good, the two of them.

He arrived home and set his coat on the hook, then went up to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable. When he was done, he went down to the front room and snapped the fire into flames and went to pour himself a drink.

He’d barely taken a seat in front of the fire when a knock sounded at the door. He sighed. He wasn’t exactly presentable to the public, but if someone was knocking at his door at this hour, they would have to wait if he needed to leave.

He opened the door and stared for a moment before the man in front of him took a step closer. Roy stepped back unintentionally and the other man smirked as he continued to move closer.

“Are you going to invite me in?” Roy felt his breath catch but he was past the shock now and he smiled. “No, Ed. I’m not.”

“No?”

Roy reached out and cupped the younger man’s cheek. He pulled him close and leaned towards him. Ed had time to pull away if he wanted but he didn’t move away. In fact, he tilted his head slightly to the side. Roy closed the distance between them and brushed his lips against Ed’s. He felt Ed’s arms wrap around his waist and when he licked at the seam of Ed’s lips they parted beautifully for him. Ed groaned as he deepened the kiss and Roy slipped his free hand up into Ed’s hair at the base of his ponytail. He pulled him even closer, as if it would make the moment more real.

It was Ed who pulled back and Roy chased his lips for one more kiss before Ed managed to step back far enough to look at him.

“Ed?” he asked when the younger man stared at him.

“Welcome me home, Bastard.”

Roy let go of Ed and pushed the door closed behind them. When he pushed Ed back against it, he pressed another kiss to his lips and smiled as he looked down at the man he loved. Ed’s eyes were wide but there was so much love in them Roy couldn’t help himself. He leaned in again and Ed fisted a hand in his shirt to pull him down. The younger man was the aggressor this time and Roy let Ed explore his mouth as his hands roamed over his body. When Roy finally pulled back, Ed was watching, waiting for what he would do next.

Roy leaned closer, but he pressed a kiss to Ed’s temple and pulled the man he loved into his arms. He felt Ed relax into his body and he let out a deep sigh.

“Welcome home, Love.”

Ed looked up at him and smiled. “It’s good to be home. Love.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> There is a short sequel to this, for those interested in what happens behind those closed doors. 
> 
> [ Waiting to be Written](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16928532)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Waiting to be Written](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16928532) by [hunters_retreat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat)




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